(Saturday, July 12, 2014) Last night Mrs. Lion had a surprise for me. If you read her post yesterday, you know that she created cards with wait times on them. I didn’t read her post until this morning because I was busy at work yesterday and last night we went out to dinner then she sprung her surprise. She showed me the cards. She also had me look at each one so that I could see they all didn’t say, “1 year”. Actually there was only one card that had a long wait. It was for 21 days three weeks. She didn’t like that card. I was less disturbed by it, but I really wished she wouldn’t pick it. Luckily, she drew six days. I can do that.
It’s funny that she created the cards at pretty much the same time that I had decided it was fine if she didn’t give me fixed times. This sort of thing often happens with us. We each express a preference, then go away and think about what the other said. In a short time each of us has agreed to the other’s idea. We’re back where we started. The thing is that there is merit in both ideas. Her original concept of not telling me when I will get to orgasm makes me wonder each time she teases me if this is the one. There’s a lot to be said for suspense. The fixed time, on the other hand, adds an interesting dimension to things. As she wrote in her post, I can earn time off by doing thoughtful things. Though she didn’t mention it, I could have to wait longer if I displease her or break a rule. From her perspective, not telling me is the easiest. She can act on the spur of the moment and always keep me guessing. She doesn’t need to do any bookkeeping about days off or added to my time. Managing the fixed time requires more planning and keeping track of added and lost days.
From my perspective, I think both are fine. It could be fun (interesting, anyway) to work with a deadline and it being changed based on my behavior. On the other hand, simply not knowing if today is the day has its own special appeal. Tom Allen wrote that his wife will tell him that he can wait another week. He waits and then she tells him he can wait another. That sort of mind game is a nice activity for people engaged in power exchange.
What do I really want? I have been asking myself that question for a while now. I know what I don’t want. I don’t want to see how long I can go without coming. I just don’t care about that. I want to have Mrs. Lion control if and when I orgasm. Beyond that, I really don’t have any hard and fast ideas. I want her to play with me and tease me. I like when she restrains me and spanks me. I like the shock collar when she uses it. I love being able to give her orgasms. I’ve missed that for a long time. I really like our much improved level of communication. I like wearing my cage. It is a continuous reminder of her control.
That’s another thing I have been thinking about. I’ve been reading what other caged males think of their chastity devices. A significant number are very concerned that the device make it impossible for them to escape or orgasm while wearing it. I know that the most popular chastity fantasy always includes inescapable devices and absolute inability to orgasm while wearing them. I have that fantasy too. But after testing endless devices and interviewing device makers, I know that while you may not be able to get your penis out of a device, you can almost always find a way to get off. The only real life devices that have a chance against a determined male with tools and a vibrator are the ones that include spikes that make erections unbearably painful. Ironically, many of us males are capable of orgasm and ejaculation without an erection. It’s happened to me a few times in my life.
I like to think that I can’t escape my Jail Bird or orgasm with it on. I know if I really want to, I can get out and can get off with a vibrator. It doesn’t bother me to know that. Getting out will hurt and will make me feel badly afterward. The same is true of a vibrator. I never really liked being stimulated by one. I really don’t think about cheating. It isn’t a moral decision. I just don’t. I asked Mrs. Lion to be my keyholder. Why in the world would I want to defeat what I really want? Even when my device was really painful to wear due to some chafing, it never occurred to me to try to get out. After all, I worked very hard to get in.