Forced male chastity is all about sex. It sounds a bit crazy since my penis is locked in a device that prevents me from erection or any other sexual activity. But it appears that for both caged male and keyholder, forced chastity puts a very bright spotlight on sex. I realize that most of my posts have been based on sex, not the absence of it. It makes sense in a perverse way; forced male chastity is not forgoing sex, it is transferring control to another. In my case, Mrs. Lion. She takes her agreement to be my keyholder seriously. This agreement has a very desirable result for both of us: we are communicating more about sex and are actively working to improve our sex life. Who’d of thought a little cage on my penis would do this?
In her most recent post, Mrs. Lion alluded to my prior adventures. It’s true. I seem to be the Forest Gump of sexual adventure. For reasons I can’t explain, I have fallen into situations that most men only dream about. She alluded to one in particular, my relationship with two women. The story of that would make a good letter in Penthouse Magazine. Frankly, if I read it there I wouldn’t believe it. But it really happened.
When I was forty, prior to the Internet taking over and the creation of the Web, I chatted with people on CompuServe. This was an online service you reached by dialing a modem. It wasn’t graphic, just a dumb terminal. However, the chat rooms were excellent places for stimulating conversation to say the least. One day in a public chat room I cracked a joke to a woman with the nickname Girlscout (Yes, one word. That’s all you could have). She sent me a private message asking to chat. We went into a private chat room. One thing led to another and she told me that she was in a decade-long relationship with another woman. The two of them were 28 years old and had met while working at a girl scout camp. Her partner often got them both involved sexually on flings with other women. They had recently been talking about what it would be like to have sex with a man. (Seriously, this really happened!) She asked if I would be interested. Are you kidding?
Over a month or so the three of us chatted on the phone and online. We enjoyed each others company. One day near my birthday my phone rang and one of the women said that the two of them had planned to drive the 200 miles to my house and surprise me for my birthday but her partner’s mom was in the hospital. Talk about a birthday present! I asked if I could go there instead. She agreed. I drove to their house and the adventure began.
It wasn’t always easy. For one thing both women were virgins. They had never had sex with a man. One still had an intact hymen. See? Unbelievable, right? I took their virginity that first night. It wasn’t a smooth, romantic scene. It had lots of awkward moments. Aside from the hot sex we laughed a lot too. It felt great when we were done that night. We discovered that we liked this situation.
Our relationship lasted over a year. It ended when one of the women asked the other if she would give me up if she were asked. The other woman said she wouldn’t. That was the beginning of the end. Eventually all three of us separated. Why talk about this now? Because there were some valuable lessons for me that have influenced the rest of my life. The first thing all three of us learned was that we really didn’t like having sex as a group. It was difficult because we worried someone would feel left out. We ended up doing non sexual things together as a group, but having sex as couples. Occasionally all three of us would romp together, but as a rule we chose twosomes.
I learned that a triad (three people in a relationship) was way more complex than sex with two women. We had to work hard to make sure everyone was comfortable and felt loved. Jealousy, I guess, was inevitable no matter how hard we tried to avoid it. I was, after all, the outsider who could be seen as competing for one or the other partner. There were social issues since in those days lesbians were not comfortable publicly expressing affection, but with me, a man, it was perfectly acceptable. That only served to highlight the inequality they felt.
Most significant to me was that I learned to provide pleasure without necessarily being pleased at the same time. These women were wonderful examples of unselfishness. I am grateful for what they taught me. So, again what does that have to do with me being locked up? Something incredibly important to me. I learned that while I was attracted to the fantasy of having two women at the same time, the real value of the experience had nothing at all to do with sex. I learned about communication and unselfishness. I learned about unconditional love. I grew as a result.
My being locked up is turning out the same way. I’ve been in love with Mrs. Lion for more than a decade. That was never in question. But there was a chasm forming in our relationship. We weren’t communicating on how we could have a great sexual relationship. Mrs. Lion did things for me, but was frustrated because she wasn’t getting what she needs from me. After she agreed to lock me up, she realized that she needed to learn more about what I want and need sexually. She also learned that direct communication was needed to make forced chastity work.
I learned that I had to work much harder to find ways to please her. I had to let her know how much I want her to enjoy sex with me. I had to do things to help bring her libido back. Most of all I have to communicate constantly about what she wants and needs and not allow the dialogue to be about just me. Have I succeeded? No, not by a long shot. I still have so much to learn. But I won’t stop trying to be better. That cage reminds me constantly that things are different and I have an obligation to find more ways to please my keyholder. I have to encourage her to seek things for her pleasure, not just mine.
We are both trying. I think it is working. Last night, for the first time, when I was masturbating her, Mrs. Lion told me to put my fingers inside. Doesn’t sound like much? It is! This is the first time in my memory she ever told me (not asked!) me to do something that would please her. I loved it! I can’t wait for more of this kind of order.
Adventures are good. Not necessarily because a fantasy comes true, but because in my experience other things come along with realizing the fantasy; things that are far more important and lasting. So, if you think that being a caged male, or caging your male just means controlling sex, you are wrong. It will force a wide range of changes that, at least in my case, are improving my marriage and making me grow as a man.