Keyholder 101: Tease And Deny

naked man's penis tickled by a feather

Tease and deny is a powerful and truly fun part of enforced chastity play.

As I have often said, most of the so-called advice to keyholders are actually male fantasies couched as “lessons.” Rather than information, it is a wish list created by males who have a rich chastity fantasy life. Those of us with experience generally roll our eyes at the elaborate jerk off fantasies that are out there. Keyholder 101 is based on our experiences actually living with forced male chastity.

Men, like women are programmed to make sex more or less important based on the availability of sexual activity. When you lock up the male’s penis, you are making it difficult-to-impossible for the male to sexually satisfy himself or find someone else other than you to do it for him. He enters a sexual desert. If you simply leave him locked up, after a while sex will become less and less important to him. This is counter productive since one of the central ideas behind enforced chastity is for the keyholder to use the caged male’s need for sex as a way to control him.

So how do you keep him frustrated and crazy to have sex without actually getting him off? The answer is something that every woman has been taught is wrong: cock teasing. In most social situations it is considered wrong to arouse a male with no intention of eventually giving him an orgasm. Girls are taught that males can even be dangerous if aroused and unsatisfied. I’m not sure I would go that far, but we can certainly get cranky and hard to be around. In the case of enforced chastity, the main reason to lock him up is to keep him extremely horny and frustrated and to use his intense desire to get off as part of the lifestyle.

Many women think that simply depriving him of the opportunity to get off will produce the desired result. It will for a while, but after a week or two of lockup his frustration will diminish and so will his interest in pleasing you so that you will please him. The most basic and probably most effective way to prevent this loss of interest is tease and deny.

This is the classic way to keep a man wanting. Remove his cage and directly stimulate his cock and balls. He needs to believe that you will stimulate him until he can ejaculate. Caged males aren’t stupid. We do know that we aren’t allowed to orgasm without keyholder permission and that sexual stimulation isn’t necessarily going to lead to relief. Surprisingly, even though we know all this, once we are stimulated to a point near orgasm, we lose the ability to think about anything than coming. This level of stimulation happens quickly and only a few seconds before it is too late and he will ejaculate.

Fortunately, he will give you signals when he is ready to explode. If you expect your caged male to be well behaved, he will tell you when he is ready, or maybe ask if you will let him come. In the beginning, just telling you is enough. Don’t necessarily wait for him to tell you or believe him when he does. Every male has a set of uncontrollable signals that signal he is ready to explode. You probably know your partner’s. If you don’t, masturbate him to orgasm a few times and observe what happens just before he comes. It is very likely his breathing will change and he may do other things to signal he is ready.

The actual tease is to take your time getting him excited. Prolong the time before he is ready to come. The reason for this is that you want to give his body time to build up all those nice hormones that go with sexual activity. The more aroused he is, the more important it will be to him that he get off. The art to this tease is a very slow buildup, so slow that he is moving his hips trying to get closer. When he reaches that point just before release, stop all stimulus. He will try to fuck the air, move his hips, do anything he can to go that extra second and ejaculate. Once you get over the taboo, you may find this funny. It is certainly ok to laugh at his antics.

Next, wait until he calms down a little. You don’t need to wait until he gets soft, just enough so that touching his cock won’t get him off. Rinse and repeat. Slowly stimulate him to the edge and stop. Repeat this as many times as you like. This technique can lose its effectiveness if you don’t occasionally let him squirt. When you do want to let him come, repeat the tease and deny several times before finally continuing the stimulation until he can have a nice orgasm. Always do the tease several times first. That way he learns that even after a lot of teasing he still has some chance of coming. He needs to believe this or his body will protect him by making it much harder to get him fully aroused.

If you do this tease and deny several times a week, you will keep your caged male’s attention and improve his willingness to do your bidding. Even if he knows when he will come next, he will be unable to resist your teasing, especially when he has been conditioned to expect teasing before he can finally come. Sound cruel? Maybe under some circumstances it is. But remember this is what he asked you to do. Don’t feel badly that he is so frustrated. Enjoy the obedience and entertainment that a well-teased male can provide.

Lion and Mrs. Lion have been together over a decade. They have experimented with Mrs. Lion topping him. Over the years, the play and then the sex tapered off. Thinking that it might renew their sexual energy, lion presented the idea of enforced chastity. Mrs. Lion agreed to give it a try. He has been caged since January 2014. The experiment is succeeding and lion will be caged Indefinitely. In February 2015, he asked Mrs. Lion to take full control and she accepted. He is now in a Female Led marriage with domestic discipline. His bottom will never be the same. Reach him on Twitter: @thecagedlion

Posted in Advice for a new keyholder, Femdom, Keyholder, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Sex

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