Panties Today! Is This The Start Of Something?
Mrs. Lion is full of surprises. This morning, she told me a pair of panties was on the bed. Yeah, she wanted me to wear them. How is it that we have dozens of yet-to-open cartons, but my panties are right there when she wants them? A mystery. She selected a red g-string with a red fringe on the back (see image above). They’re designed for a man. There’s a pouch in front that comfortably houses my cock and balls.
I had nothing to do with her decision to make me wear panties, which is great news for me. It means that she thought about things that push my buttons. I hope it’s the start of a trend. She hasn’t been feeling very well and is tired. Making me wear panties is a nice, low-energy way to assert her control. She can be diabolically creative when she wants.
We canceled our four-day mini vacation, which frees some of her paid time off to cover my upcoming surgeries. I will be getting two eye surgeries in the next couple of months. The first is next Friday. I need Mrs. Lion to drive me to the appointments. She may take Friday off. That will give us a long weekend and perhaps a trip to a casino. The one we usually visit has a restaurant that serves good sushi. I love sushi. It also has other food that Mrs. Lion likes. I wonder what I’ll be wearing under my jeans.
BDSM and sex are hard to think about if you don’t feel well. I understand that Mrs. Lion sometimes struggles to deal with the things she needs to do. At times like that, even thinking about my kinky needs takes more energy than she has. I also know that other couples have similar issues. The big problem is that knowing she isn’t meeting a need of mine stresses Mrs. Lion and makes her feel guilty. The decision to put me in panties is an excellent way to deal with my needs and her stress.
There are many other easy options when her energy is limited. Anal play–butt plugs, for example–require a little effort to insert and have a huge effect on me. The same is true of locking me in a male chastity device. Even my locking cock ring provides me with continuous sensation without requiring a lot of energy on her part.
It boils down to taking a little time to plan. The things that work for me don’t require a lot of energy, but they do need consistency. That’s why panties and locking cock toys are effective. When the energy is there, spanking and teasing are nice additions. Mrs. Lion isn’t a planner. I get it. I also know that making lists is a great way to build good habits.
She could start a list of lion activities when she has a few minutes. Then, she could review it every day and decide what, if anything, would work. This is no different from how Mrs. Lion learned to punish me for breaking rules. In the beginning, we created a structure that assured me I would break rules and she would punish me. It worked, and good habits were built.
This is no different. It isn’t about running a three-ring BDSM circus; it’s about remembering to provide the stimuli that I need and the play we both enjoy.
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Orgasm #379
On January 1, 2016, I started keeping track of my orgasms. I started because Mrs. Lion and I were having trouble remembering how long I had been locked in a chastity device and waiting for my next orgasm. The spreadsheet eliminated guesswork. Long after we stopped worrying about wait times, I still dutifully recorded each ejaculation. My latest entry was recorded yesterday.
I had a delightful Sunday afternoon blow job. Mrs. Lion reported that she didn’t get as much cream filling as last time, but there was a small reward for her efforts. When I recorded the event, I happened to notice that Yesterday was my 379th orgasm since I started keeping records. That factors out to an average of 3.35 orgasms a month, or just over 40 a year.What does all this mean? Not much, really.
The most significant thing about those numbers is that they show a significant change in my sexual behavior. Before that fateful day in December 2013, when we started male chastity, I had an orgasm almost every day. I didn’t record the data, but it is fair to say that between jerking off and sex with a partner, I had between five and seven orgasms a week.
Things didn’t change immediately. As Mrs. Lion and I settled into orgasm control, the frequency of my orgasms declined. She never had a concept of how many I should get. Some women believe that an orgasm once every ten days or so is enough for a man. Of course, they have no basis for that idea. Mrs. Lion took a more organic approach. She learned to like edging me. It was fun for me, too. We settled into a routine of several days of edging, followed by a handjob to orgasm. There was no formula for how many times I needed edging before I could ejaculate. At least I don’t think there was. Over time, the edging sessions tapered off. Maybe Mrs. Lion didn’t like doing them. [Mrs. Lion — I thought we stopped because ED was making erections difficult and we hadn’t figured out how to deal with that.] Instead, we had no sex of any kind for about a week or so, then Mrs. Lion would get me off.
I’m sure Mrs. Lion didn’t plan to train me, but she did. I learned not to masturbate. I haven’t jerked off since 2013. I also learned to accept her vision of when I should get off. Male mammals are in heat all of the time. That means we (I’m a male mammal) are always ready to mate. Females of most species are only interested in sex when they are in heat. The poor males have to stay horny until a female in heat lets them get off. Primates, like us, also use sex as social glue. Our females make themselves available for sex even when not able to conceive.
The decision to have sex is shared in human relationships. When there is a big unbalance–one partner wants sex a lot more than the other–masturbation can fill in the gaps. When I was trained not to masturbate, my sex drive couldn’t control how often I got off. I had to wait for Mrs. Lion to use her hand, mouth, or, rarely, her vagina to get me off. She and she alone decided when I could get off. In a way, I’m like the four-footed mammals who have to wait until a female goes into heat.
Maybe that statistic is significant. Would I be at orgasm 379 if we didn’t choose male chastity? I’m very sure I wouldn’t. The number would almost surely be three times as many. Instead of an orgasm every seven to eleven days (on average), it would be every two or three days. If Mrs. Lion didn’t dislike the idea of me masturbating, the number would be much higher.
Believe it or not, I have no idea why she so strongly disliked the idea of me jerking off. Other partners in the past would make use of my ability to get myself off. When not in the mood for active sex, they would offer to “help” me. They would tickle my balls or put a finger in my ass while I jerked off. I think they were entertained watching me jerking. I was never very fond of dong this, but it was better than nothing, or was it?
I understand that my male chastity isn’t about sex. It’s about using my strongest and most basic drive to demonstrate control. Unlike BDSM, male chastity is about real power exchange. i surrendered my most significant primal need. Mrs. Lion doesn’t need cuffs, whips, and BDSM trappings to maintain control. She owns the one thing I like the most: my ability to ejaculate.
It’s True. I Hate Making Decisions.
Lion is correct. I don’t communicate well. I don’t take charge. I don’t make decisions. I don’t do things he wants to do or, more correctly, things he wants me to do to him. In some respects, it’s a two-way issue. I don’t think he’s as communicative as he could be. As you know, we come from different backgrounds and, on paper, it doesn’t make any sense why we’re together. He likes crème brûlée. I like Twinkies. Well, no not Twinkies. I like most of the chocolate snack cakes. He likes opera. I like rock. It’s not that he doesn’t like rock, but he’s less tolerant of the rock I like.
When it comes to making decisions, there are several issues. Sometimes, when I decide, he’ll say it’s a bad idea. There have been times he’s said X was the worst idea he’s ever heard. Not often, mind you. But often enough. You can imagine how much that makes me want to decide or come up with an idea.
My son went into the army primarily to make sure he could support his daughter. Of course, I was afraid, but I was also proud of him for being responsible. Lion thought it was a terrible idea and let me know every chance I said anything “son” related. I stopped mentioning my son. I didn’t want to hear how stupid he was. The economy tanked not long after he enlisted, and he probably would have been out of a job. Lion still thought the army was a stupid idea. Now, my son is a physician’s assistant, thanks to the army. Lion says he’s proud of him, but his earlier statements still sting. [Lion — Mrs. Lion is younger than me and I have unpleasant memories of how our military cost thousands of American lives in wars that had no value at all. I didn’t want my stepson to be part of that machine. The army has changed. Now, it’s more like a career choice. He made excellent use of the benefits. He went in, barely graduating from high school, and was on his way to serious trouble. Now he has a master’s degree and is a commissioned officer. I am very proud of him and my feelings about the military have changed because of the way it turned his life around.]
As far as the house is concerned, Lion really hates the area. He hates that the houses are so close together. I think he hates the house itself. I hate moving. I’m not thrilled with the house itself or the fact that the neighbors do nothing about their noisy dogs, and our dog feels like she can’t go outside when she wants to. I do not hate the area. I hate being stuck in limbo as far as unpacking is concerned. We spent quite a bit of money installing the car charger and the wiring to make it easier to connect the generator. It seems stupid to me to undo that or lose it when we move. I’d rather not pay the exorbitant vehicle licensing fees, especially since we can’t use the transportation services they pay for. In short, it depends on what annoys me about the house on any given day. I would decide to look for a different house as we get closer to the end of the lease. If we can find something we like, we can run through the numbers to see if moving makes sense. [Lion — That’s exactly how I feel. I also worry that the management company will raise our rent to a point we can’t afford to stay. It would be different if liked it here. It’s true that we spent a lot moving and improving this house. We got our money’s worth already. We had a power failure that would have cost Mrs. Lion a day’s pay. That is enough to cover the cost of the modification to use our generator. We save enough on gas to pay for our charger. We didn’t get stuck with the $900 car registration fee this year. I don’t want to pay that next year. We paid only $150 in our old house.]
I have to say, as far as BDSM and sex are concerned, some days I’m having a hard enough time just making it through the day. Then I have to make dinner or do laundry and the dog is inevitably in my way. Generally, I’m in some pain. When Lion asks how I’m doing and I say okay, it’s relative. Two hours earlier, I may have been in a lot more pain. Maybe my ears were ringing and now they aren’t. Maybe the ouches and gasps are just normal ouches and gasps when I move over to snuggle. Right now, for example, I feel like I’m on the verge of tears. No reason. Just teetering right on the brink. Deciding what’s for dinner or if I want to spank Lion is not frontmost in my mind.
That said, we‘ve been doing a lot better at deciding dinner lately. And I was going to make Lion wear some frilly undies today, but he didn’t sleep well last night and I didn’t want to add to his misery. On the other hand, the heat seems to have broken, at least for the day, so maybe he should have some misery via a spanking.
Passing The Baton
It is impossible to know what another person is thinking. Sure, we get verbal and non-verbal clues, but most people are good at concealing their feelings when they want to. Mrs. Lion is almost a sphinx when it comes to expressing how she feels. For example, I know she has been uncomfortable at least for part of the weekend. I asked how she felt several times and got a neutral, “OK.”
The reason I’m wrting about this is that without good information, I have no way to understand what, if anything, I can ask her to do. She isn’t very good at taking charge. I’m not just talking about domestic discipline or BDSM. This is generally true. Most of the time, I need to ask her to do most things. The problem is that if she isn’t feeling well, she will do what I ask. Once she starts, I can see that she’s angry, but she won’t admit it.
That makes me very wary of asking for anything. I don’t want to push or upset her. My ability to do things around the house, like unpacking the hundred-or-so moving boxes is very limited. More seriously, I am stuck with deciding if we stay in this house or move next January. I am very uncomfortable making this decision alone.
It’s true that I am a better planner. I’ve been a manager for much of my career. Still, it isn’t fair for me to have to decide everything. As you can imagine, this bleeds over into our sex life too. Even though Mrs. Lion is in charge, it’s up to me to decide when we have sex. Spankings almost always come after I post about their absence.
The big problem for me is that there are two very large issues that I am very uncomfortable about. The biggest is that I have to make all of the major decisions alone. It’s becoming too much for me. Part of that is that I need to ask for things to get done. I hate having to do that, and I am very upset when I see that Mrs. Lion acts put upon when she does those things. It’s getting harder for me to keep up.
The second one is that I am essentially topping myself. Mrs. Lion knows me well enough (after 20 years) to know what turns me on and pushes my buttons. I’m not that complicated. I should probably realize that by now, if she hasn’t taken the baton, she truly doesn’t want to do this stuff. I’m going to stop asking.
This is very serious stuff for me. My vision continues to fail. I have two more eye surgeries scheduled between now and the end of August. That means I’m more dependent. My ability to manage is shrinking. I am very grateful for the loving care I get from Mrs. Lion. Her love keeps me going. I just wish I could figure out how to help her become self starting.
