Not A Steamroller, Just A Pet
(Wednesday, June 25 2014) Yesterday, Mrs. Lion wrote in her The Steamroller post that when she proposes something I get too excited and go off the deep end (my words, not hers). There is truth in that. But it isn’t the whole story. Her first point was that she only said she was thinking about making my lockup two weeks with possible time off for good behavior. My memory is that she said I would wait two weeks. Why should that matter? Why did I react the way I did?
The answer is basic to the forced male chastity experience. In my mind if a time period is mentioned, it represents a goal, if you will, that I will have to reach in order to orgasm again. It gives the caged male a target, something to look forward to, like Christmas or his birthday. Up until now, we hadn’t had any firm orgasm dates. I got to come when the stars and Mrs. Lion decided I should. I can understand that in her mind, as my keyholder, this is completely right. She absolutely decides if and when I can squirt.
What I think she may not understand is that knowing the next date gives me something to anticipate. So, even though I was unhappy I had to wait so long, I also felt more comfortable in that the end is known. It’s a bit like saying, you will get a new sports car for your birthday, but I’m not promising when you get it. A great gift, but hard to anticipate. I’m finding that anticipation is a very nice part of being a caged male. It’s like our dog; she knows that before I walk out the door to go to work she gets a treat. So, she gets very excited when she believes I am about to leave. It’s really cute. That doesn’t mean she won’t get a treat other times. It just means she knows she will get that treat each time I leave for work.
When Mrs. Lion told me that I would come again in two weeks, I got excited. I had something to grumble about and also something to keenly anticipate. This doesn’t mean she can’t decide to give me an orgasm sooner, or that she can delay it because I displeased her. It means that barring some naughtiness, I can look forward to coming in two weeks. If she decides to get me off sooner, I promise I won’t be disappointed.
In her post, What’s In Store For Lion she proposed some new rules. One that she said she was seriously considering was orgasm control; require me to hold back until she signaled me (tickling my balls during oral sex) I could come. I reacted to that proposal. I think it is a fine idea. I then discussed in my post, It Had To Happen, ways she could condition me to control my orgasms. She responded that my response made her feel guilty if she decides not to institute that rule. I get that.
I guess you could consider this topping from the bottom. Maybe it is. My intention was to present my thinking on this subject. I had been thinking about orgasm control for a long time. It interests me because it is a form of control that actually makes me change. Wearing my cage effectively prevents orgasm. I don’t have to change a bit to be made to wait any length of time Mrs. Lion wants. She has the key and unless she releases me, no matter how much I want to come, I can’t. Orgasm control is very different. She can’t physically prevent me from coming if she is stimulating my cock. Her stimulation is intended to arouse me and eventually get me off. So, if she wants to control orgasm under this condition, I will require conditioning. Optimally, if I am truly trained (which I am not sure is even possible and I am not proposing this as Mrs. Lion’s goal), I won’t be able to orgasm when stimulated without permission, and I will orgasm when told regardless of stimulation. That conditioning is an interesting fantasy. A more limited version of it is useful if Mrs. Lion wants to ride me without allowing me to come. Otherwise, it could be an amusing party trick for her.
I understood her post. I didn’t expect that it would all come instantly true. I just saw it as real progress in her thinking as my keyholder. I am proud of her for even thinking this way. Like my other fantasies, I wonder if I will be sorry I shared it. It was something of a shock to hear that my time would be two weeks. For a bit I wondered if this was the beginning of an alarming trend. Then I realized that what I was worried about wasn’t so much my orgasms (though I do love those), but was sexual attention.
I needn’t have worried. Last night, I spent prime time (8pm to 11pm) watching TV with the Njoy butt plug (the large one) up my ass. She wrote she might do it so I wouldn’t feel neglected while she did some work. I didn’t. I think I am going to be getting a great deal of anal attention. I hope that at some point Mrs. Lion will try me wearing a strap-on and pleasuring her.
In other news, my Jail Bird with the much-shortened cage arrived, unfortunately Mature Metal forgot to return my base ring. So now I have a new, very tiny cage but no ring. So for now at least, I am still in the Chinese cage. Stay tuned.
The Steamroller
There are times that Lion overwhelms me. He doesn’t mean to. He just gets so excited. So darned excited. No, I don’t mean that kind of excited. He gets something in his head and off he goes. He really is like the little kid in his post. I see the toy. I want the toy. I need the toy.
Although I ended my last post saying I had two weeks to make up my mind what tasks he could do to earn time off, I haven’t actually decided he’ll wait two weeks. I’ve told him that. To no avail. He’s got it in his mind that he’s waiting two weeks. And he’s already playfully grumbling about it.
I also never said he would have to hold back an orgasm until I gave him a signal. I said I was thinking about it. But now he’s all riled up worrying that he’ll have to endure painful punishment swats. Maybe he should get swats for getting so excited.
The biggest problem with Lion steamrolling me is that I start to feel like I’m not doing enough for him. I know he’s happy. He tells me every day how well I’m doing. But I know he wants more. And that’s a daunting feeling. Sometimes I feel like Sisyphus, pushing the boulder all the way up the hill only to have it roll back down. I do something for him, he loves it, and immediately asks what’s next.
Of course it’s not that bad, but I do have to guard against it because if I’m not paying attention it can mess with my mind. And aren’t I the one who is supposed to be messing with his mind?
So maybe (do you hear me, Lion? MAYBE) he’ll get swats when he starts to steamroll me.
It Had To Happen
If you’ve been following along, you may have noticed that Mrs. Lion is taking a much more active role in my chastity. Over the last few days she has proposed new rules and yesterday announced that she was going to make me wait at least two weeks before my next orgasm. She also said that I will have to learn to control when I come; that she wants me to wait until she signals me before I can orgasm.
My reaction to these developments is mixed. On one hand it is exactly what I had hoped would happen. On the other, now that it is happening I am starting to worry a bit. I realize this is irrational. I couldn’t have believed that once I surrendered control of when I could come that I would be allowed release whenever I thought I should come. That would certainly be contrary to the reason I am caged. Knowing that doesn’t stop the reality from hitting me rather hard. Waiting nine days wasn’t all that easy, especially since Mrs. Lion kept my attention firmly focused on getting off. Tease and deny is a very effective tool for that. I realize that two weeks is just five days longer. Five days can feel like an eternity when my penis sends those little tingles up to my brain.
Some of those feelings remind me of when I was a cub and I just had to have that special toy. Life could be so dark and gloomy without that desired object. All these years later I can feel the little brat in me sending similar messages. But at least now I know that such petulant feelings will do no good. Another part of me is happy that Mrs. Lion is now taking the reins and I am definitely not in control any more. She really does own my most primal behavior. I absolutely can’t orgasm without her letting me.
She has also added a new, more difficult wrinkle; when she provides sexual stimulation, whether by hand mouth or vagina, I am not permitted to orgasm without explicit permission. I am pretty sure that right now I will fail miserably at that. I know from reading and conversations in the past that males can be trained this way. However, the methods are necessarily harsh to make it work. A fairly standard approach is to deal with “accidents” very severely. After the accident has been cleaned up by the male, a very unpleasant spanking follows at once. This isn’t the fun sort of spanking I normally get. I do like those! This is the kind where the keyholder restrains the male or sits on his back and really does a number on his butt with a nasty paddle. This is true negative conditioning.
Do I really want Mrs. Lion to do this? I’m ambivalent. I really hate that sort of spanking. Well, I’m supposed to. But I recognize the value of being trained to only come with permission. It makes me more sexually useful between authorized releases. Can I do it without many accidents? I am sure I can’t. I have no idea how to stop myself. So, if Mrs. Lion wants to train me this way, she will have to punish me severely in order to provide the negative conditioning needed to make it work. I will be very unhappy about it at the time. I know an accident will have repercussions beyond the painful spanking. It will almost by definition extend my waiting time before my next authorized orgasm. Am I proposing this practice? No, not exactly. I am reluctantly offering advice on how to succeed with this training. The fact is that I will have a very hard time learning this skill. Mrs. Lion will have to perform this training very regularly, almost daily, for it to work. This is one of those things that she has to decide she wants to invest her time in doing. I don’t have any choice either way.
There is a less violent possibility. We can use the shock collar to negatively condition me to orgasm without permission. This is far more humane. If I can tell Mrs. Lion just before I hit the point of no return (not always possible, but I think I can learn), she can hit the red (+2) button on her remote and the shock may be enough to distract me from the orgasm as well as unconsciously condition me not to orgasm without permission. I have no idea if this is effective. It is pure behavioral conditioning, so it might. The instant feedback, even if I do end up having an accident might actually work over time.
The thing is that of all the stuff we have discussed or tried, this particular form of training isn’t something I can simply do because she wants me to. I can’t even do it because I want to. It is behavioral conditioning of the most primal sort. I don’t know if I will ever succeed. But if Mrs. Lion wants to do it, I will try my best.
What’s in Store for Lion?
I was looking at the chart of Lion’s orgasms on the sidebar. He was a very lucky boy in March and even luckier in April. Sadly, it tapered off in May and June. I bet he’s hoping July picks up again.
The other night I told him since he made it to eight maybe the next time would be a multiple of eight. He suggested binary. I countered with some form of exponents. Lion is a math guy. I don’t do exponents so I’d lose track quickly. Of course if I lose track I could always say I have to start over. Reset. Gosh I’m sorry. Starting over at one. No orgasm till some number to the nth power.
I also told him it wasn’t just him suffering because he’s not allowed to come. I don’t get to taste him so therefore it’s me who is suffering more. He didn’t buy it. Oh well. Worth a try.
So my pet made it nine days and I’m thinking of making him wait two weeks. I don’t know why he’s complaining. It’s not even a multiple of eight. And if he makes it two weeks, then what? This could get complicated.
Many years ago I made up little cards with tasks on them. Depending on which one he picked he would have to perform that task or have it performed on him. For example, he would get clothes pins on his balls or he would have to give me a tongue bath.
I was thinking I could update that idea with numbered cards. When I allow him to come he would pick a new card that would tell him how long he had to wait for the next orgasm. That way he’s sealing his own fate. I have nothing to do with it. If only he had picked a lower number. It’s out of my hands. Poor Lion.
The first idea that came to mind when I thought of time off for good behavior was to select a dildo and if he could accommodate that dildo by a certain day then he would get a day or two off his “sentence”. Of course we’d work up to that size. I wouldn’t expect him to magically be able to take a monster dildo.
So far that’s all I’ve come up with. But I have two weeks to decide, right? He’s not going anywhere. Or should I say, he’s not coming anywhere.
