I’ve been caged for about three months now. Most people tend to report their first day as though they understand what being caged means. They don’t know. The first impressions are largely colored by the pain and other discomforts a new, poorly-fitted cage can cause. Or they are busy experimenting with exactly what happens when they get erect, etc. There’s nothing wrong with that. We all do it. But the more significant changes happen more slowly.
I didn’t think that having my penis locked up would make any profound changes in my life. After all, while I really like sex, it isn’t at the front of my consciousness most of the time. At the time I asked to be locked up, our sex life wasn’t very active and I hoped it would improve with chastity. I also felt there was little to lose. Up until the cage went on I had masturbated once or twice a week. It wasn’t a big deal, just feeling horny and acting on it. Mrs. Lion has less libido than me and I figured I was just saving her the trouble.
As I look back at the last three months I realize that I haven’t been able to masturbate once. Mrs. Lion does free me occasionally to shower and do an extra good cleaning. The cleaning invariably makes me hard. But I haven’t felt any serious temptation to do anything but enjoy an unfettered erection. I don’t know why, but I really don’t want to masturbate. It feels like cheating. I think it is since I no longer have ownership of that part of my anatomy. Honestly, that concept (someone else owning my cock) seemed silly to me when I read about it in the past. I understood that a cage reduces access, but I really couldn’t make sense of the idea that possession could transfer to my keyholder. I know that is how the game is played, but I didn’t think I would internalize that concept and actually believe at the deepest level that my keyholder owns that part of me.
Even writing about this concept seems odd to me. Intellectually it doesn’t make sense that someone else can own my sex organs and my sexual pleasure. Yes, it does make sense that I can be prevented from getting release with a physical device. But I am surprised that the cage isn’t all that stops me from independent sexual action. It is my understanding that I don’t have that right anymore.
Sound silly to you? I’m sure that if you are a keyholder these comments will seem odd. Women and men are very differently wired sexually. Both do want release and satisfaction, but women consider sex part of a much larger experience and may be willing to forgo sex in favor of other kinds of satisfaction. I don’t really want to generalize too much here. Everyone is different. My point is that male sexual interest is much more focused on orgasm and ejaculation. The physical act takes on a life of its own. So, for a man losing the control of his sexual release is a singular event.
Oddly, losing control of my penis has brought my sexual needs more sharply into focus. You can see that in my writing here. I think that I expected something like this to happen, but not at such a profound level. My cage is part of me now. I want it in place. I’m not really sure why, but I do.
Most of the stuff written by caged males is about how they turn into simpering slaves of their keyholders; how they suddenly want to rub their feet, serve them in any way they can. Frankly, that hasn’t happened to me. I don’t feel an irresistible need to do that. But I do feel a real need to do what my keyholder wants, to please her. You might think that I should have always felt that way. I did, but those feelings often got displaced by external things in life, my own needs, and laziness on my part. Now, my priorities have subtly shifted. My attention is much more focused on my keyholder.
Does that mean I will turn into that simpering slave and depend on lioness to guide me through life? I don’t think that will ever happen. I am my own lion, so to speak. I am independent by nature and I do generally lead our relationship. I take care of many of the chores and decisions that keep us going. However, I am hoping that the changes brought on by the cage to both me and my keyholder will add some new balance and excitement. I am certainly surprised that in less than ninety days so much has changed.
Another very significant change is that my interest in sex has gotten much stronger. Before I was caged, I really wasn’t all that interested. Very gradually that interest has increased. I stopped waking up with “morning wood” a few years ago. That’s back now. I wake up once a night to pee. More often than not I am hard when I do. I can’t explain exactly why this has happened. I am getting a lot more keyholder attention. I think that has turned on an internal switch that has restored a more normal level of arousal. I am very happy about this change.
When I first asked to be caged, if you asked me if the cage would be more than a sex game to be shared with my keyholder, I would have said no. If you asked if I would consider forced chastity a lifestyle, I would have laughed. How could a little stainless steel cage over my cock change my life and actually make sex better? How could this cage stimulate a new kind of relationship? I guess the cage itself didn’t, but its persistent presence forces me to see things differently and when I do that, it forces my keyholder to look at me and sex with me differently as well. Somehow, wearing that little cage day and night effects big changes in the wearer and those close to him. Cool, isn’t it?
There is some interesting, safe sensation play that is guaranteed to get your male’s attention. One classic is figging. This is a most interesting new use for the ginger root.
To fig, you carve a nice thick piece of the root into a finger shape (see photo, right). Then you insert this into your caged male’s anus. Don’t use lube, just take your time.
Why do this? You’ll soon see. Once inserted, the root starts reacting with the moisture up there. As it does, it creates a warm, then a hot sensation. The heat will build for a while and then taper off. All the keyholder has to do is assure that the root remains inserted. He will do the rest himself.
Once the ginger root is in place, it is an ideal time to do some spanking. Since the burning sensation increases sharply if your male tightens his ass, he is faced with an interesting choice: tighten his ass and feel more ginger burn, or let it relax and get a bigger sting from the spanking. Ginger is a great side dish, it goes so well with spanking. This article has some excellent information about figging.
A second, more intense activity involves a sore muscle remedy. You can use BenGay, IcyHot, or any other warming cream. Use is the essence of simplicity. Just massage some into your male’s scrotum. He can stay safely caged. You may want to restrain him so he can’t run to the bathroom to wash it off.
Like the ginger root, the ointment will start off just feeling nice, but then the heat will build. Depending on how much you use, the heat will build to a high intensity. His scrotum may turn red. This is pretty serious sensation. It won’t do any lasting damage but will make an impression. If you want to get even more sensation, apply it to the perineum (the skin between the bottom of the scrotum and the anus). That is much more sensitive. Only apply to one area or the other. The human body can’t feel two stimuli at once, so one application will be wasted.
In my experience, figging is a great activity. Lioness has carved some thinner pieces of ginger and has warmed me up with them. I think a thicker piece might be more intense. I look forward to those sessions. By the way, once the sensation dies down, you can restore it by further peeling the root. More essential oils will be released.
For me, Ben Gay is a different matter. I hate it! While it is active (about 10 minutes) I am miserable. Then when it tapers off, it feels like such relief. Ironically, even though I hate this, the thought of having a hot ointment rubbed into my balls turns me on. Like a strong spanking, the BenGay is horrible while it is happening, but arouses me before and makes me feel very good remembering the session.
This concept of arousing anticipation, wonderful afterglow, and absolute misery while happening seems to be a fairly common set of reactions to sensation play. Unfortunately, the new keyholder reacts only to the misery and feels guilty for hurting her male. I don’t perceive it that way at all. I am turned on knowing my lioness can do this to me. I know I will hate it when she does, but that makes it even more arousing. I don’t want her to do this to me every day, but I really want her to do it.
Male sexuality can be bewildering. I can’t explain why I am the way I am. But I know that in my case, discipline, spanking, and other sensation play really turn me on. The key to understanding why it is so exciting for me is that my sexuality is not based on what is happening now, it is more complex than that. It is the vulnerability, surrender of power, and most important of all, my keyholder’s use of that power. I really haven’t surrendered unless the person I surrender to actually uses the control I have given her. I think that is why just being locked up isn’t enough. It’s also why it can be difficult to be a keyholder. Forced chastity is about power exchange. There is no exchange unless the power is used. The more it is used, the more complete the feeling of surrender.
When I read the chastity forums and some of the femdom blogs that pretend to be keyholder advice columns, I see some serious misinformation regarding the actual hardware. Many men when they first decide to get into forced male chastity, with or without a keyholder, seem to obsess over whether the device will be able to stop them from their idea of cheating on chastity. I would like to give you my view of what to expect from your device.
The primary purpose of any chastity device, in my opinion, is to prevent the caged male from either masturbating to orgasm or engaging in penis sex with another person. That’s it. I’m sure you are asking, “What about erections?” Ok, what about them?
First of all, a certain number of our erections are involuntary. We get them in our sleep and sometimes when we wake up in the morning. They turn up if we see something arousing. So many guys believe that the erection is the enemy and the device has to stop that enemy in its tracks. To do this, they get spikes built into their cages that will hurt them if they start to get hard. All that ends up doing is making the chastity experience so uncomfortable that after a few days of pain and sleep deprivation the caged male has to take it off. So, do yourself and your keyholder a favor. Accept that arousal isn’t prevented by a chastity device. There are drugs that do that if you really need it. Your keyholder teases you so that you are more easily aroused. An erection is the flag that is raised when you are turned on. Your cage may move out a bit, your cock head may try to escape. Believe me, that’s good fun for your keyholder. Enjoy the erection, but know you can’t get off.
The other big item is security. Guys spend a fortune and also suffer greatly so that they can get a device they can’t cheat. There really isn’t an inescapable chastity device, especially if you define escape as the ability to orgasm. Any cage can let you pull out if you want to badly enough. What most males end up doing is “adjusting” things to make pull out harder and harder.
The main ways men try this is by wearing a smaller cock and ball ring, reducing the gap between the ring and the cage, and adding anti-pullout pins to the device. First, consider the cock and ball ring. The tighter this ring is fitted, the more restrictive it becomes of your blood flow and prevents any natural flexing it needs to make with your body. You will read about men suggesting lube to make wearing the cock and ball ring easier. That is a sure sign it is too tight. A properly fitted ring will let you get one finger under it up to your first joint (second or third finger). Any looser and it really is insecure, any tighter and you will suffer.
The second area that men try to “fix” is the gap between the ring and the cage. Your scrotum fits through this gap. If it is too loose, pull out is very easy; too tight and you will cut off blood to your scrotum and make it hurt like crazy. I think the ring is a good fit if your balls don’t slip out on their own.
Last and certainly not least are the so-called anti-pullout pins. These are metal or plastic pins that are placed at the very mouth of the cage where you put your penis in. Their purpose is to make it really hurt to try to pull it out while locked. If they are large enough or sharp enough to be effective, they will also put you in serious pain if you try to get hard. Unless you like that sort of pain, avoid them.
So, if all cages can be escaped and if some allow you to stimulate yourself to orgasm, why wear them? The answer is obvious: because you want someone else to control your ability to get off. Think of it this way: You lock your car so that thieves can’t get your stuff or steal the car. You know that locking it won’t stop a determined thief. However, it will stop someone looking for an easy target.
Your cage is the same. It reminds you that you no longer control your orgasms. It makes it difficult to cheat. It’s not an armored car that needs a bomb to open it. That sort of security shouldn’t ever be necessary. You are caged because you want to be, not because a judge sentenced you to penis prison. Don’t waste your money or your comfort to protect yourself from you. The cage serves a real purpose by making cheating much more difficult, not impossible; and it is a physical reminder to you and your keyholder that she owns your sexual pleasure.
Strictly speaking, being a keyholder doesn’t require any activity beyond locking up your male and occasionally letting him out for hygiene and exercise. However, very few caged males would be happy with such a limited confinement. As a keyholder, your experience would also be rather one-dimensional if limited to the basics. Last time we discussed tease and denial as an amusing part of forced male chastity. Today’s topic is quite different.
Tease and deny is just a small variation on an activity I’m sure you have done many times in the past. Pegging, however, may be new, even alien to you. What is this activity? It’s anal penetration of the male by his keyholder. Don’t stop reading. It turns out that this is an activity your male will end up loving.
Before we go any further, let’s get rid of some common concerns. A big one for many is that male anal penetration is homosexual. If a male likes it, he is a latent homosexual and if you teach him to enjoy it, you are making him queer. The simple fact is that men and women both have lots of pleasure nerve endings in the anus. Enjoying activity there says nothing about sexual orientation. Stimulation there can become very erotic and fun for both men and women regardless of sexual orientation. Another concern is that you could hurt him by inserting something up there. Actually there is no serious danger if you are sensible and take feedback from your male.
The biggest objection is that it is “dirty” back there. A lot of people hang on to things learned in early childhood; namely that the asshole is dirty and needs to be avoided. The fact is that with a little washing, the rear can be a very nice place to play.
Ok, now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the activity and the necessary tools. The first thing you need is a dildo. This can be a realistic imitation penis, or something more abstract. The best material is silicone. This stuff is dishwasher safe, can be boiled and won’t absorb anything. You can find lots of them here. What about size? The key measurement is diameter. Length isn’t important since you control depth of insertion. Over time (a month or so), you will actually need several sizes. A good starter size is about one inch in diameter. Most men can learn to accept that fairly quickly. After he is comfortable with that size, you can move up to 1 1/2 inch. That is a good size to stay with, but moving up further is good training for him in relaxing and letting you do as you wish.
Technically, pegging is done with the dildo in a strap-on harness. This device lets you wear the dildo as though it were your penis. Pegging is using your strapped on penis to fuck his anus. However, at first the harness is not really the best idea. You need to get him used to your penetration. That is best done with him lying on his stomach and you holding the dildo in your hand. Take the beginner dildo and get it covered with lube. Also use your hand and lube his anus. You can’t use too much lube. Most of the discomfort he will feel will be due to insufficient lube.
Take the lubed dildo and slowly insert it in his anus. Take your time. Keep a steady pressure on it so it slowly goes in. If it hurts him and he wants you to stop, pause. Leave it where it is. If that is still too painful, slowly remove it, add more lube and begin again. It takes patience and time. The first session might only last five or ten minutes. Hopefully you will be able to get it all the way in. Hold it there. Don’t move in or out. Just let him get used to it. Hold it for ten minutes if he can accommodate it. Then very slowly remove it. Whatever you do, don’t abruptly end the session because of complaints. Be sympathetic but firm. Remove the dildo for a minute or two then start again. The key is to make him realize that this is going to happen and while you will let him rest a bit, the dildo will go in. After you have it inserted and held it there a while, you can slowly remove it and end the session.
sIf he isn’t sore the next day, repeat. It is perfectly normal to be sore for a while until he learns to relax. It isn’t dangerous or a bad sign. Let him know it is a normal part of learning to use new muscles. That’s exactly what it is. After a couple of sessions, begin moving the dildo in and out. Don’t let the tip completely exit, but pull it out as far as you can and push back in. Start slowly the first time. Build up over the next few sessions.
Now you can add the harness. Wear it tightly strapped to your body. Try positioning the dildo so it is right over your clitoris. That way, each thrust will stimulate you. Some women can orgasm that way. Now you can really peg him.
Believe it or not, most men learn to love this. It’s a great part of the forced chastity experience because it is very physical and sexual without providing him with an orgasm. It is also an unmistakable message about your dominance. Remember, this takes time and patience. Your efforts will be rewarded.