When I brought breakfast into the bedroom this morning, I asked Lion if a spanked butt would hurt more when it was waxed. He said it probably would and wondered why I asked. Great question. The answer: he forgot to set up the coffee pot again. He thought he did it. I saw differently. Tie goes to the Lioness.

All of this comes on the heels of Lion’s question yesterday about whether our domestic discipline is still functioning. I didn’t swat him for spilling on his shirt the other day. The only thing I’ve been punishing him for is the coffee pot. I can’t tell you why I’ve been so lax. Maybe I should regularly take one of our punishment days and make it into a I-know-you’ve-done-something day. It wouldn’t be a maintenance spanking per se. It would be for all the times I should have punished him and didn’t. Since I know I miss things, and he might miss them too, this could work. However, it wouldn’t do Lion any good because there isn’t a specific “crime” for him to try to avoid in the future. He can’t swear at the coffee pot, for example. If anything, it helps get us back in the swing of things. Well, it gets me back in the swing of things. I’m not sure Lion was ever out of it.

Yesterday I waxed the front side of the Lion. My lower back has been cramping up on me for about a week, so I had to stop after the last touch ups were done. The wax is melting already and we’ve just watched our team actually win a game. As idiotic as it sounds, with a 6-10 record, if Washington loses tonight the Giants win the NFC East. Of course, they’ll lose the first playoff game because, with a 6-10 record, they obviously suck but being the division champs is still nice.

I’m not really sure if I’ll spank Lion before I wax him. It was just a fun way to point out his transgression. I think he really does need to put a spy cam in the kitchen. It could save his butt.

My hairless Lion. (Click here to see larger)

I think it was last month that I had the brilliant idea to suggest a compromise for waxing. At the time, it seemed like a good idea. It was, after all, the month I suggested just doing everything but Lion’s legs. He likes his legs waxed. I don’t care if they’re furry or not. It made sense to give me a month of not waxing them and him a month of waxing them. Win-win.

Yesterday, as I waxed his legs, I tried to come up with a different solution. I hate waxing his legs. His thighs aren’t so bad. His knees and lower “chicken” legs have too many angles to cover with a wooden applicator. I’ve been joking for a while that I should be able to use a paint roller. Lion told me they make a roll on wax but it’s strip wax. Ugh. The only thing I dislike more than waxing his legs is using strip wax.

[Lion — Strip wax uses a thin coat of wax on the skin. After application, a strip of cloth is applied. The cloth is ripped off like a band-aid taking the hair and wax with it. Mrs. Lion likes stripless wax. This kind is much thicker than strip wax. It “hardens” on the skin and then can be pulled off without the cloth. It is less messy than strip wax, not as painful for me and much easier to use.]

To make matters worse, the wax was stubbornly hanging on everywhere. Last month it was easy to get the remnants off. This month, not so much. I hate that. I slathered Lion with mineral oil, let it soak in, and rubbed him with a towel just like last time. Most of it came off, but there was still some that refused even after another round of mineral oil. [Lion — This is probably because Mrs. Lion didn’t put enough mineral oil on my skin before waxing. That step is tricky, too much mineral oil on and the wax won’t stick to the hair, too little and it sticks to the skin.]

I think last month was a conspiracy. The wax lulled me into thinking it would be easy. It made me think I’ve figured everything out. “Just put some mineral oil on and rub. Easy peasy. I promise I’ll come off,” it lied. All the while it was waiting until this month to get its revenge. “I will not go peacefully!”

Today is round two. The flip side. Luckily, Lion is less furry on his back and butt. It’s those damn legs that are going to kill me. If Lion’s skin wouldn’t get crispy, I’d be tempted to use a blow torch.

[Lion — I was thinking that maybe Mrs. Lion could stop after doing my thighs. If she can taper the hair between thigh and leg, it would look pretty natural. I don’t care if my lower legs are hairy or not.

Here I am with full body waxing

Male pubic hair: like it or lose it?

If you asked this question 15 years ago, chances are good that both men and women would vote to keep it. In those days a lot of people equated male body hair with masculinity. Men without body hair were somehow “feminine”. This idea has faded along with the 45 RPM record. Body hair, particularly pubic hair, has fallen out of fashion.

Manscaping isn’t an all-or-nothing practice. It can range from a simple pubic trim to full body waxing. Here are some of the more popular styles:

Bare Balls
Keeping the boys hairless is one of the most popular manscaping activities. Women generally react negatively to hairy balls.  Some don’t like balls at all. That’s their problem. I want to keep mine. Shaving and waxing are the best ways to keep the boys in the pink. Chemical and laser hair removal are extremely painful down there. I had laser treatments. Even with a topical anesthetic, the treatments burned like hell.

Waxing only hurts the first couple of treatments. Each treatment keeps the hair away for about a month. Over time, the hair grows back thinner.
This is how Mrs. Lion does me.

The Trim Almost all women surveyed (over 80%) preferred trimmed male pubes to wild bushes. Before I went Brazillian I trimmed to about 1-inch. I liked the look. At one point I stopped trimming and my partner at the time was upset at all the hair. She tied me to the bed and shaved off all of my pubic hair. Obviously she had strong preferences. Once a week as long as we were together she shaved my front and back. I kept it up since then. Had I kept trimming I probably would still have hair down there.

Neatly trimmed pubic hair sends a message of good personal hygiene and grooming. Any length under three inches gets good marks.

Do the Samba Since I have frequently bottomed, hair can get in the way in front and in back. A Brazillian is the removal of all pubic hair as well as any hair on the ass and in the crack.  We didn’t know it at the time, but that is what my partner gave me. I like the way it looks. It also has practical benefits. Removing crack hair makes it much easier to stay clean back there. The hair picks up stuff when you poop. Bare skin is easier to keep clean. There is a downside: Farts are louder without the muffling effect of hair.

If you want to wear a chastity device or cock ring, pubic hair gets pulled and tangled in the hardware. Staying bare there not only improves how you look when wearing a device, it also avoids those nasty hair tugs when the hardware gets tangled in your pubes.

Chest and Pits For the longest time I restricted my manscaping to the Brazillian. At one point not too long ago, I wondered how I would look with a hairless chest. My chest and tummy never had all that much hair, at least that’s what I thought. Mrs. Lion waxed me in front and I was surprised and delighted by the results. I discovered my nipples are very small. The hair made them appear larger. I like them better hairless. I think the smooth front looks very nice. Mrs. Lion doesn’t care either way. Oh well.

I also asked her to wax my arm pits. Every so often I had trimmed and sometimes shaved my pits. The hair is very light and straight. I never liked how it looked. Having them hairless initially worried me that I would look too feminine. After a short time, I decided that I don’t care. I like the look. It looks clean to me.

Back and Shoulders Even back in the old days, men had their backs shaved. Very few women like hairy backs. Fortunately, mine has never been hairy. Mrs. Lion waxes my back and shoulders when she does the rest of me. It keeps the look uniform.

My legs are hairy. I never liked the contrast between my hairless pubes and butt and the hairy legs.

Legs Until recently, I never did anything with my leg hair. I have pretty hairy legs. The only manscaping there was removing the hair on my thighs about halfway to my knees. That looks better with the Brazillian. The start of hair contrasting with bare skin elsewhere looked a bit odd to me. I asked Mrs. Lion to wax my legs. My thighs look much better without hair. My knees and below look a bit strange to me. Mrs. Lion can’t decide which way she likes them best. I lean toward keeping my legs hairless too. However, I’m fine being hairy there if that’s what she prefers.

The general consensus is that men should do some manscaping. At the least a pubic trim is in order. Hairless balls are generally appreciated. Beyond that, it is a matter of taste. I like the way I look now. Mrs. Lion likes the look too. Manscaping is a good topic for a couple to discuss. If you haven’t talked about it, bring it up. It may cost you some hair.

When we moved, I packed our waxing supplies away. For the longest time, I had no idea where they were. Lion bought new wax warmers and other supplies to get us through until I unearthed the original supplies. We’re still working with the newer warmers even though I know where the box is. I just haven’t unpacked it. Anyway, the point is, one warmer has green wax and the other has orange. The orange is easier to remove, but it doesn’t do as good a job as the green so we’ve decided to use just the green. That means I’m working from one warmer at the moment. When I’m out of wax, we have to stop.

Yesterday, I said I should clean the orange wax out of the warmer so I’ll have more wax to work with. After a minor disagreement about it, we realized we were saying the same thing. The orange wax comes in a can that sits in the warmer. I can just remove the can, clean up a few spills and have two green warmers. It would have been nice if I’d thought of it before yesterday. I made it most of the way down both of Lion’s legs before I ran out of wax. He’s got patches of fur on his right leg. It’s a good thing no one ever sees his legs. Today I’ll finish the job.

We’ve both been having some stomach issues. It’s probably tied to sleeping problems and possibly being “trapped” in the house for so long. I do poke my head outside every so often. I get the mail. I mow the lawn. (Right now it looks like I’ve never mowed the lawn at all.) And today I have to go out to get prescriptions. I’ve also suggested to Lion that we could go out for a drive. We don’t need to get out of the car. We can just enjoy the scenery. Anything for a change of pace.

Lion’s tummy was off last night. He didn’t eat much of his dinner and then he snoozed off and on watching TV. Before bed he suggested that he needs his excitement earlier in the day because he falls asleep in the evening. I’m countering with the fact that he falls asleep in the afternoon watching TV too. However, I don’t doubt that he would be a little more susceptible to my charms earlier in the day. Unfortunately, I’m working now and I’m supposed to do it from 8 to 5. I never actually discussed it with my boss, though. There’s really no reason I couldn’t shift those hours since I’m working at home. Or even split the hours. If I stop at 2 for an hour or so, I could just jump right back on to finish my shift. On the other hand, I need to be available for emails, texts and phone calls.

Anyway, we need to figure out what our “new normal” is going to be around here. And eventually I will have to actually go in to work. What happens then? What is normal anyway? There’s certainly a lot of moving parts to it.