Saturday was filled with adventure and pain. Well, I got the pain. We ordered a large Aerogarden, indoor hydroponic “farm.” It arrived Friday afternoon, and Mrs. Lion assembled it on Saturday. We ordered the tallest version to permit room for tomatoes to grow. It’s huge! She assembled it with a minimum of growling. Mrs. Lion is quite vocal when frustrated. We set it up and planted tomatoes, lettuce, and a couple of herbs. It will take a week or so for them to sprout. Hydroponically grown veggies mature five times faster than those grown in the ground.

After our farm was planted, Mrs. Lion dragged out the spanking bench. I was not in the mood to be spanked. She didn’t inquire if I wanted to be spanked or not. With no fanfare, I was invited to ride it. I held my tongue. Grumbling would only make it worse. Based on her post yesterday, she knew I wasn’t happy about being spanked. I never am. She didn’t strap me down. I wish she wouldn’t skip that step. I know I moved around a lot. She had no problem finding her target.

I’m writing the post at noon on Sunday. Mrs. Lion will be waxing me later this afternoon. She’s getting much better at this craft. It takes her a lot less time, and the results are better. Part of the reason is that the hair is growing back less and less. She’s scaring it away. She uses light mineral oil to clean away any remaining wax when she’s done. She’s especially careful with my cock. She uses a lot of oil there. Invariably, it swells. Last time I had an orgasm—a waxy, oily, happy ending.

In her post, Mrs. Lion indicated that I’m high maintenance because I don’t like burnt pizza and have sensitive skin and nose. I can’t help those things. My skin can’t be that sensitive the way she beats me. You’d think she couldn’t wait to give me away. It doesn’t matter. There’s no waiting list for used lions. [Mrs. Lion — We’re also past the warranty period.]

I know it wasn’t exactly the waxing that made Lion happy yesterday. He was waiting for the cleanup when I rub him with oil to get the wax remnants off. I was a little mean. I put oil everywhere but the spot he wanted it. I saved the best for last. He loves a hand job with oil.

Lion seemed to have less hair than last time. I don’t know how long it’s been, but the hair he did have was thinner. Maybe he’s losing his winter fur. In any case, we were done in record time and on to his hand job. This position works well because I can switch hands without interrupting the action too much. When I’m using my right hand, my left is free to tickle his balls. I tried to make sure I wasn’t grasping too hard or going too fast. I also made sure I was hitting the spot that Lion says I must have forgotten about. I didn’t forget. It’s just sometimes difficult to hit it just right.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever given him an orgasm on the waxing table. I haven’t been teasing him for very long while I clean him off. I know he’d gone 19 days without an orgasm. We’ve had some problems, as I’m sure you’ve read recently. I decided he needed an orgasm to reset his system. Of course, I had to edge him a few times first to make him wonder. To my dismay, there was no Lion cream. It would have been wasted anyway. I couldn’t eat it mixed with oil.

I managed to get the kitchen table cleaned off so Lion could have his pancakes. It’s easier to eat some things at the table than in bed. They weren’t the best pancakes I’ve ever made, but I haven’t made them in a long time. I must be out of practice. He loved them anyway.

Since I waxed him, it was after 5 when he got out of the shower. He missed his deadline for setting up the coffee pot. It wasn’t his fault. I had the pot soaking for a while and then I delayed him with waxing. Rather than bring him down further from his orgasm high, I told him he should wander out to the kitchen. That’s my code for, “You forgot the coffee pot, but I’m giving you a pass.” Little did I know, he earned himself a punishment for leaving the shower door open.

Oh well. It’s been a while.

When I brought breakfast into the bedroom this morning, I asked Lion if a spanked butt would hurt more when it was waxed. He said it probably would and wondered why I asked. Great question. The answer: he forgot to set up the coffee pot again. He thought he did it. I saw differently. Tie goes to the Lioness.

All of this comes on the heels of Lion’s question yesterday about whether our domestic discipline is still functioning. I didn’t swat him for spilling on his shirt the other day. The only thing I’ve been punishing him for is the coffee pot. I can’t tell you why I’ve been so lax. Maybe I should regularly take one of our punishment days and make it into a I-know-you’ve-done-something day. It wouldn’t be a maintenance spanking per se. It would be for all the times I should have punished him and didn’t. Since I know I miss things, and he might miss them too, this could work. However, it wouldn’t do Lion any good because there isn’t a specific “crime” for him to try to avoid in the future. He can’t swear at the coffee pot, for example. If anything, it helps get us back in the swing of things. Well, it gets me back in the swing of things. I’m not sure Lion was ever out of it.

Yesterday I waxed the front side of the Lion. My lower back has been cramping up on me for about a week, so I had to stop after the last touch ups were done. The wax is melting already and we’ve just watched our team actually win a game. As idiotic as it sounds, with a 6-10 record, if Washington loses tonight the Giants win the NFC East. Of course, they’ll lose the first playoff game because, with a 6-10 record, they obviously suck but being the division champs is still nice.

I’m not really sure if I’ll spank Lion before I wax him. It was just a fun way to point out his transgression. I think he really does need to put a spy cam in the kitchen. It could save his butt.

My hairless Lion. (Click here to see larger)

I think it was last month that I had the brilliant idea to suggest a compromise for waxing. At the time, it seemed like a good idea. It was, after all, the month I suggested just doing everything but Lion’s legs. He likes his legs waxed. I don’t care if they’re furry or not. It made sense to give me a month of not waxing them and him a month of waxing them. Win-win.

Yesterday, as I waxed his legs, I tried to come up with a different solution. I hate waxing his legs. His thighs aren’t so bad. His knees and lower “chicken” legs have too many angles to cover with a wooden applicator. I’ve been joking for a while that I should be able to use a paint roller. Lion told me they make a roll on wax but it’s strip wax. Ugh. The only thing I dislike more than waxing his legs is using strip wax.

[Lion — Strip wax uses a thin coat of wax on the skin. After application, a strip of cloth is applied. The cloth is ripped off like a band-aid taking the hair and wax with it. Mrs. Lion likes stripless wax. This kind is much thicker than strip wax. It “hardens” on the skin and then can be pulled off without the cloth. It is less messy than strip wax, not as painful for me and much easier to use.]

To make matters worse, the wax was stubbornly hanging on everywhere. Last month it was easy to get the remnants off. This month, not so much. I hate that. I slathered Lion with mineral oil, let it soak in, and rubbed him with a towel just like last time. Most of it came off, but there was still some that refused even after another round of mineral oil. [Lion — This is probably because Mrs. Lion didn’t put enough mineral oil on my skin before waxing. That step is tricky, too much mineral oil on and the wax won’t stick to the hair, too little and it sticks to the skin.]

I think last month was a conspiracy. The wax lulled me into thinking it would be easy. It made me think I’ve figured everything out. “Just put some mineral oil on and rub. Easy peasy. I promise I’ll come off,” it lied. All the while it was waiting until this month to get its revenge. “I will not go peacefully!”

Today is round two. The flip side. Luckily, Lion is less furry on his back and butt. It’s those damn legs that are going to kill me. If Lion’s skin wouldn’t get crispy, I’d be tempted to use a blow torch.

[Lion — I was thinking that maybe Mrs. Lion could stop after doing my thighs. If she can taper the hair between thigh and leg, it would look pretty natural. I don’t care if my lower legs are hairy or not.