Everything has been on hold for the last few days. We both have/had a bug that makes us need to lie down. I spent all day Wednesday in bed watching PBS documentaries. Well, mostly watched; I snoozed a lot too. Mrs. Lion managed to put in a full day’s work and then went to bed. We got take-out Chinese food (bad) for dinner.
As you probably guessed, there was no spanking or sex. It was the last thing on our minds. That’s not entirely true. Mrs. Lion did agree that it’s been a while since my last orgasm. She also made it clear that the orgasm is second on her list. A spanking is her first order of business. I agree, in case you want to know.
As a writer, I think I can describe every experience. I’ve written a lot about my complex and often conflicting feelings about being spanked. It’s hard to admit that so much of my life connects to having my bottom paddled. Like it or not, it does. Mrs. Lion has her own difficulty articulating the role spanking plays in her life. The easy part is that she spanks me because I need it. That’s the same reason she gives me oral sex. She wants me to be happy.
For a long time, I figured that was the only reason she spanked me. I knew that enforcing rules was mostly a game she liked to play. The fact that playing effected positive changes in me was a nice extra. I like the idea of domestic discipline. It’s a subject that I’ve spent a lot of time writing about. In the harsh glare of daylight, I have to admit that there really aren’t that many issues in our marriage that would benefit from disciplinary spankings. Mrs. Lion would have divorced me years ago if there were.
I think that Mrs. Lion likes domestic discipline, too. She enjoys catching me breaking a rule. She gets a glint in her eyes when she informs me that I forgot to do a chore. It doesn’t really upset her if I forget to set up the coffee pot or remind her of punishment day. I know that. She likes the game. You know what? It doesn’t matter. The result is the same. I get what I need, and she has fun.
When it comes to the actual activity of beating me, things get more complex. For a long time, she genuinely disliked spanking me. Over several years, she said that she stopped having bad feelings about beating me. She said that it became just another thing she did for me. There were no emotions attached. Vacuum the bedroom, beat the lion, all the same thing.
If that’s how she feels, I’m fine with that. I think that there is more under the surface. Mrs. Lion doesn’t like to drill down into her feelings. I could be completely wrong, but I think spanking me is more important to her than just another way to keep me happy. I think it has value for her as well.
Of course, she’s the only one who can know that. It would be nice if she found some pleasure in it, too. If not, we are certainly OK. I’m getting what I need, and Mrs. Lion gets some extra cardio exercise.
turning the tables
One of the more amusing aspects of spanking is how it self-cures one of a submissive’s most annoying habits: more. One constant in BDSM that leaks into disciplinary relationships is the “greedy bottom.” Nothing is ever enough. I have to admit that I’ve suffered from this, too.
If the primary activity is spanking, no matter how pain resistant the bottom’s butt, it’s fairly easy to push him to his limit. If a request for “more” is greeted by a serious increase in spanking force, speed, and length, the bottom (me), will be sorry he wanted to step things up.
In most BDSM activities, the top has to work long and hard to provide stimulation for the bottom. More bondage, more CBT, more…well, you get it, means more work for the top. More spanking does require additional effort from the top, but she has considerable leverage in terms of the amount of suffering she can deliver without breaking a sweat.
Most spanking toys are designed to make it easy for the top to have a strong effect on her bottom. As Mrs. Lion has learned, changing to a heavier wood paddle, or just swinging a bit harder and faster, will make me yelp and scream. I used to ask for more serious spankings. I rarely do that now. Why? Because Mrs. Lion is happy to oblige and I’m always very sorry when she does.
