I hope you aren’t getting too tired of my erectile dysfunction reporting. It’s a topic that gets way too little attention. While it may seem to be a purely male affliction, I think it affects both partners in a sexual relationship. I don’t believe that we males intentionally try to blame our partners for our own inability to perform. At least for me, it’s been that the problem crept over me so slowly that we both missed it.

Every man has sexual failures at times. Women do too. However, their failures tend to be private since they are generally limited to a temporary inability to orgasm. Male failures are obvious. Also, women spend their adult lives going through cycles of greater or lesser interest in sex. Guys are in heat almost all of the time. Women are understanding of a man’s temporary loss of libido. It maps to their own cycles of heat.

As a guy, I never made much of a study of my own sexual patterns. Generally speaking, sometimes it took longer to ejaculate than others. On occasion, I wasn’t horny. I chalked that up to fatigue. Like most guys, I’m not all that self-aware. When Mrs. Lion wanted orgasms, I could always provide them one way or another. I rarely initiated sex. I figured that was due to shyness. In retrospect, I wonder if it wasn’t something much more serious.

With the advantage of hindsight, I can see that I was slowly losing my ability to perform over many years. I’m not blaming my failure to initiate on early ED. I’ve always been sexually shy. I realize that’s an odd admission from someone so adventurous, but it’s true.

The first time I began to worry about my sexual health was when I had trouble staying erect once inside my partner. It didn’t happen all the time, but over a period of years, it got worse and worse. I blamed it on my male chastity, keeping me on my back all the time. I reasoned that I lost the ability to keep it up if not on my back. You can find posts here where I made a case for this. Other times, I half-jokingly said that I was “broken.”

Later, I blamed my inability to get hard when Mrs. Lion fondled me under the blankets as a lack of motivation. It wasn’t. I took generic Cialis, which improved things for a while. I didn’t want to consider that there was more to worry about. Things got worse very slowly.

It was only after the boner pills stopped helping that I needed to take a hard look at myself. That’s when I began researching ED. The pieces of the puzzle fell into place. Now I’ve seen a doctor and have solid help getting hard. I can’t help but wonder if my lack of ability to take ownership of the problem isn’t what caused Mrs. Lion to lose her libido. Maybe I killed it while trying to cover up my problem.

Listen to this post.


  1. “Maybe I killed it while trying to cover up my problem.” I don’t think so… in the same way that men’s libido/capability decreases as they age, so do women’s. My wife’s libido plummeted as she passed through menopause.

    1. Author

      I’m sure that was part of it for Mrs. Lion. Let’s just say that I didn’t help things.

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