When Lion came out of the shower, he said he expected the spanking bench to be set up. I hadn’t even thought about it. Luckily, it takes a minute to do. I had him riding the bench in no time.
This was not a punishment spanking. I’m sure he hasn’t been a saint in the last few days, but nothing has risen to the level of punishing him. By his count, it had been 30 days since his buns had met with a paddle. That is if you don’t count the Super Bowl swats. When he goes so long without punishment, it’s easy for both of us to start to slack off. He can fall into interrupting and not following his rules. I can fall into not catching him when he does so. We’ve found that it helps if we do “Just Because” spankings. Sometimes it’s just because he’s forgotten what it feels like. Sometimes it’s just because I’m sure he’s done something that I missed. Mostly it’s just because we both need to be reminded to pay attention.
These non-punishment punishment spankings are less severe. Maybe that’s wrong, but if he hasn’t done anything, I’m not really punishing him. I won’t say I don’t throw some fairly hard swats his way in those five minutes. He gets a few surprises along the way. Generally, I don’t tie him down. Although I think he should be able to remain still if he focuses, I do strap him to the bench for punishments. What can I say? I hit hard, and sometimes he’s weak.
I made dinner, and we snuggled after I took care of the dishes. My head didn’t hurt, so I was free to move about at will. It was a little too late to do anything big, but I did play with my weenie and got him hard. Today, we’ll try to play earlier. There may even be a blowjob in Lion’s future. He may not get the happy ending of a blow job, but he’ll get some action. And I’ve been known to change my mind about giving him orgasms. I like to keep him guessing.
Nice post. I firmly believe “just because” is a valid disciplinary rationale, just as you seem to, even if the actual spanking is not ferocious. I’m sure there are those who would categorize a “just because” as play, but unless it IS clearly play, reminders of role, reminders to pay attention, all act as facilitators for behavior….and THAT is the key distinction that makes it “DD”.
As an aside, please accept my appreciation for being directly involved in this blog. It is rare for dominant spouses to take such an active role. Over the years I am sure you have interacted to some degree with others like you or your husband. This brings me to something that I would like to ask. As the submissive half of my relationship, I know I often feel a certain kinship to other folks (of either gender) in the same situation. It’s like we are all members of the same club. LOL Do YOU ever feel this when interacting with, or hearing about others in your position?
The reason I ask is because I feel like there would be an inherent difference between (for clarity and ease of expression, allow me to use the more BDSM-ish terms,) Top & bottom. But I’m not a Top and I’m not sure, and my Rosa does not interact with other Tops, yet she does share our lifestyle with others and is not shy, (with the right audience) to express her confidence in her role.
For me, the kinship I feel with others in my role is one of “being in the same boat” for all the good and ill that entails. When behaviors are monitored, obviously behavior becomes a priority. We are the ones who have to watch what we say, follow the rules, act with respect, and sometimes just agree to obey. Our shared fellowship is rooted in obedience and accountability.
I would think that because the Top role is so different, that whatever kinship fellow Tops might feel for each other would be different. You folks don’t need to obey since you are the ones making and enforcing the rules. Perhaps that feels more like being fellow parents at a PTA meeting, or perhaps it is like a shared wink over having authority over a loved one’s behavior? I’m curious. What does it feel like to be part of the circle of those who are “in charge”? I write and I like to write with a ring of truth and not mere speculation. If you would be kind enough to share your thoughts on this, I’d be quite appreciative. Thanks.