More men read this blog than women. More women read/buy books than men. The obvious inference is that women read more than men except when it comes to certain male-centric subjects like male chastity and domestic discipline. It’s ironic that the men who like to read about these subjects want to believe that women get the most pleasure from these practices.
Based on the sort of sexual reading that women like best (as determined by book sales), romance novels are the clear winners. These stories feed rich, plot-based fantasies of handsome men capturing and rescuing women. The sex is steamy, if not explicit. The prose says little about the male side of things other than their ability to produce erections. The men are wild and untamed.
There is a giant difference between the stuff you find here and in other writing about male orgasm control and domestic discipline. If you analyze the writing, you’ll find that it is transactional. The males give up control voluntarily. The women are given power by the men.
Consider that for a moment. The women don’t take control by virtue of mental or physical domination. The men ask them to take it. You could argue that active consent is required in the real world. Agreed. But even in fantasy, the males always give consent and then lose the ability to revoke it.
There are some similarities between romance novels and male chastity/domestic discipline writing. In both, the submissive person loses physical control. The heroine is tied to the railroad tracks. The disciplined husband is strapped to the spanking bench. The chaste male is locked into a male chastity device. Loss of physical control is very hot. The big difference is that in the female fantasies, she escapes the bondage and then surrenders to a male. Sexual surrender after stress is a big plot point.
Our male version is about capture and then happy surrender to captivity. We get off by continued restraint, spanking, and delayed orgasms. It’s this difference that might cause misunderstandings between the sexes. Everyone sees things through the filter of his experiences and desires. When it comes to a kink like ours, the male and female filters are very different.
Take domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion and I have been practicing it for years. I’m sure that her view of what we do is different from mine. I see Mrs. Lion having the authority to punish me as needed. It’s a sort of maternal authority. I don’t see her as my mom. She’s my partner. But, she has the power to punish me as needed. I think that she sees it very differently. Based on what she’s written, I think that she views DD as a sort of game. She makes rules. If she can catch me breaking any, she punishes me.
That doesn’t mean that she views it as just a game. She acknowledges that DD has taught me valuable lessons. The same dichotomy exists with male chastity. On my side,I see it as surrender of my ability to get off when I want. I’ve been trained not to masturbate. I have to wait for Mrs. Lion to decide when I can ejaculate. She does it for two reasons. The first is that she was genuinely offended when she learned that I jerked off. The second is that she knows it’s fun for me when she makes me wait.
There is no reason for both of us to see things the same way. Whether I consider domestic discipline maternal authority or a game, I still get spanked when I break a rule. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to feel any sense of authority. She makes rules and spanks me when I break one of them. It’s that simple. She likes catching me. I learn to do what I’m told. It’s a win-win.
My point is that men and women will never share the same fantasies. When it comes to domestic discipline or male chastity, it doesn’t matter how we differ on how we view it. All that matters is that we agree on the rules of the games and follow them.