In a recent post, Mrs. Lion wrote that orgasms feel the same to her now as they did when she wanted sex. She just doesn’t want sex. That got me thinking. On the way home from my doctor’s visit, I asked Mrs. Lion if her comment meant that she liked orgasms. She admitted that she does but doesn’t “want” them.
Sounds like a contradiction. It isn’t. I asked if she just happened to get an orgasm, would it feel good? She said, “Of course.” I offered an analogy. “I love a certain kind of chicken pot pie. I don’t think about getting it, but I would love it if she found one for me. Is this what you mean?”
She said it was. I thought about it some more. If you look back a few years in this blog, you will see that Mrs. Lion had a hard time because I didn’t initiate sex. She had to. She admitted enjoying the sex but didn’t like the lack of romance. I did my best to make it better, but I was unsuccessful.
Eventually, I proposed male chastity as a way of taking initiating out of my hands and making it easy for her. It worked, sorta. Over time, male orgasm control became our only sex. Mrs. Lion, who never had a sexually aggressive personality, simply focused on getting me off after making me wait. Since she has always been more reactive than active about sex, it was a small step to simply ignore it.
I’ve occasionally given her orgasms. After she’s come down, I asked if she had fun. Her answer has always been, “It’s OK.” That made me feel that she didn’t like what I did. My mistake was that I didn’t ask how orgasms felt when she wanted sex. I suspect that I would have gotten the same answer.
If I stop thinking that her response is about me and look at the objective evidence, I would come to a very different conclusion. Mrs. Lion appears to have a very good time when she comes. Apparently, it’s difficult for her to express how it makes her feel afterward.
I asked if I could give her orgasms. She agreed I could. She couldn’t say that she wanted me to give them to her. She agreed that it was just like my chicken pot pie. She wouldn’t think of asking for one but would have fun if an orgasm came along. They’re coming, sweetie. Or should I say, “You’re coming!”
[Mrs. Lion — I tried explaining to Lion that, while an orgasm feels good, being given an orgasm when I don’t want one tends to piss me off. We watch a lot of reruns of the tv show “Mom”. At one point, her mother helps her by taking care of her kids and her response is, “Why is this pissing me off?” I can’t exactly explain why it pisses her off but I completely understand the sentiment.]
I hope you are successful Lion in finding her sweet spot—and in this I mean pleasing her without pissing her off! lol.
I will keep trying until I do.
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