I think He Needs More Swats

First of all, Lion got a very long spanking last night. He started bleeding fairly early on so I got a warm washcloth to wipe him off. He wasn’t bleeding bad but it was making the paddle stick. He suggested Band-aids over the spot but I would have needed one giant Band-aid. I decided to put the washcloth across his butt and whomp through it. I think it was somewhat effective. Sometimes, as the washcloth lost its warmth, I figured the coolness would feel nice so I wiped even if I didn’t have to. That’s not to say that I was holding back on the swats. His butt was on fire, I’m sure. Today, he says it hurts to sit.

As I showered, I wondered if I should apply some sort of lotion to his wounds. The skin was broken so protecting it seemed reasonable. I don’t think I should necessarily do it right after. He needs time to recover mentally. (Actually, my first thought was that IcyHot would burn much more after an evil spanking like that.) In addition to making the skin feel better, applying lotion could signal that he’s definitely forgiven for whatever he did to earn the punishment. Sort of a we’re-done-here or this-hurts-me-more-than-you moment.

Ironically, part of his punishment was for forgetting the coffee pot for Monday morning. Yesterday, the coffee pot started making a weird noise but I managed to get it to work. This morning, the weird noise was back but I couldn’t get it to work. Lion says it’s dead. I think it died in sympathy for Lion’s butt. If there’s no coffee pot to set up, he can’t get in trouble for not setting it up.

Now, on to the problem of the past few days. I know Lion gets confused when I use a lot of non-specific pronouns. He loses track of who “she” is. I’ve been trying to get better with it. I’m not even sure that’s where the problem occurred. To me, it seems like Lion just doesn’t listen carefully. I was trying to tell him something about my boss creating a form. We’re setting up Microsoft Office with Teams and apparently there’s a long process to do it. Management has decided each boss is responsible for a certain number of things so there isn’t this big crunch to get things done all at once at the end. I told Lion my boss made a form, I wasn’t sure which program (meaning Word or Excel) and… he asked who “she” was. My boss. So the form is for… he asked if it was in Word or Excel. I told him I already said I didn’t remember which program. So the form… he said he thought it would be easier to use Word. Okay. So the form… he said he would use Word. Okay. Then I remembered it was in Excel, even though it really didn’t matter in what I was trying to tell him. So she set up the form… he said Excel would be better because then she could do X, Y, Z and tell her not to do this certain thing that he’s done in the past and was disastrous. At that point, I lost it. It didn’t matter what program was used. I didn’t matter what the form was for or how it was set up. All I wanted to say is that I don’t have access to any of it because it’s not set up yet (a bone of contention at work) so I can’t use the damn form anyway! I growled at him and that should have been the end of it.

However, this morning, the coffee pot issue caused some grief too. I made sure I told him the noise the coffee pot made yesterday, and that I got it to work yesterday. I made sure I told him that it made the noise again this morning, but I wasn’t able to get it to work so I had to make the coffee in the Keurig. I was clear. I was precise. And he still told me I didn’t tell him the coffee pot didn’t work this morning. Is he hearing the first part of the conversation and launching into something in his mind before he hears the rest of the conversation? Can he not do that? I guess the answer is to punish him when he does it. Maybe that’s the only way to get his attention, especially considering he did it two days in a row within twelve hours of each other. Sheesh!

What do you think?