I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

I am a creature of habit. Not that I don’t go with the flow, but if the flow is interrupted too much I get thrown off. This mess with our computers at work and coworkers getting COVID and now we have to pick up our camper that’s been happily residing at the repair shop for months is getting to me. Oh, and it’s the end of the year which is traditionally not my favorite anyway. I’ve been on the phone more the past week than I’ve been in the entire year. I hate the phone. I feel like everything needs to be done by yesterday. So when Lion asked if I was doing a post, well, let’s just say it was more fuel for the fire.

I don’t know if that’s part of the reason I didn’t follow through as much with Lion last night. I was playing with him under the blankets and it didn’t seem like he was in the mood. At a certain point, I had to move because watching TV over my shoulder hurts my neck. From my point of view, Lion wasn’t in the mood, although I didn’t actually ask. I assumed, which definitely makes an ass of me. I think it was more than an hour later, Lion asked if I just wasn’t in the mood. Huh? I thought he was the one not in the mood. He said he doesn’t normally get hard when I play with him under the blankets. He got hard on Monday night. Is my memory that short? Do I really not realize that he doesn’t get hard under the blankets? I thought he did. At least a little. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

We’ve had the discussion recently that maybe all I have to do is “insist” that he get hard and he’ll probably respond. I don’t know if it was cold in the bedroom. I came out of the shower and snuggled under the covers with him. I don’t remember if he said he was cold. I don’t remember any conversation about coming out from under the blankets. I just assumed he wasn’t interested because he didn’t even seem to be attempting to get hard. I don’t remember any purring from him. Work must really be frying my brain.

Tonight I’ll turn off work at five and pay more attention to Lion. Unless he verbalizes that he’s not in the mood, I’ll do my best to get him hard and to the edge. I think we’re at day 17. He should be coming up on orgasm time, but he can’t have one until I edge him for a day or so. And he can’t get to the edge until I figure out what the hell I’m doing.

Listen to this post.

What do you think?