Mrs. Lion is on a quest to deliver the perfect blow job. What a gal! She only has an audience of one to please. That might make it easier. This isn’t the first such quest I’ve heard about. The creator of the Autoblow, a male masturbator that is supposed to accurately simulate oral sex, did similar research. As anyone who has tried a toy like the autoblow, it falls far short of the real thing.

A device like the Autoblow has a limited number of parameters it can control: speed of the up-down motion and the length of the stroke. The amount of pressure applied to the penis is not variable. This sexual entrepreneur hired an artificial intelligence company to study porn videos of women performing fellatio and develop a program that would vary the stroke and speed of a specially-adapted Autoblow to more accurately simulate a blow job.

We got one of these devices. I enjoyed the variation in stroke and speed, but it didn’t resemble a blow job at all. It was doomed from the start. Aside from limited capability, the device follows a fixed routine. A live blow job varies as the woman discovers what excites the man the most. This varies depending on his arousal at any given moment.

For a masturbator to accurately do this, it would need sensors that could accurately measure arousal. That way, if a given motion wasn’t working too well, it would know and try changing. When arousal increased, it could continue what worked.

Mrs. Lion wrote about improving her technique. She said that she liked to change things up. She wondered if I noticed. I definitely feel the difference between techniques. Some I like more than others. I’ve never considered making my blow job like a visit to an optometrist. You know, “Is it better this way, or this way.” It sounds like I need to provide feedback to help her research.

Maybe we need an arousal scale. The doctor always asks, “What is  your pain level?” I’m supposed to give a number between one and ten. One means it doesn’t hurt and ten means I’m about to kill the person who asks me. We could try the same for blow jobs: one means I know that I’m in your mouth and ten that I’m about to go into orbit. Of course, trying to rate sensations could be distracting and defeat the entire point of what she wants to do. Maybe just two values could work: wow and meh.

We will have to discuss this and come up with a way for Mrs. Lion to work on the technique. I give this effort a “Wow”.

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