Sex Blog or Sitcom?

Blogging is one of the more interesting developments of the World Wide Web. Anyone with access to a computer and the Internet can publish a blog about anything at all. In some ways, it’s one step up from Facebook. Getting started is as simple as navigating to WordPress.com or Blogger.com. From there, it’s only a few clicks to becoming an online publisher. Of course, there are more technically-involving ways to blog. Our blog, for example, is independently hosted and managed by me.

The anonymity of the Internet affords a great deal of freedom to express things that would otherwise be very private. Certainly, Mrs. Lion and I would be uncomfortable sharing the intimate details of our relationship if we could be identified. For a while, I worried that we were being a little dishonest by hiding our true identities. I don’t think we are.

There is simply too much risk associated with allowing people we work with too much information about our private lives. That means people, in general, don’t really have the opportunity to share and question intimate aspects of their lives. Before the Internet, the only way to get any concrete knowledge about spanking, for example, would be to seek out and join an organization of like-minded people.

This was fairly easy to do in a big city. I lived in New York and on the back page of the “Village Voice,” an alternative newspaper, it was possible to find ads for such things as BDSM organizations. These organizations met in small, off-off-Broadway theaters and other semi-public spaces. Anonymity was treasured and people were careful not to recognize each other in public.

I joined one of these organizations and learned a lot and had a great time at parties and other events. I became proficient in many of the skills needed in BDSM and shared my knowledge at various workshops. I met like-minded people who were happy to play with me. The largest of these organizations had about a thousand members. Clearly, they weren’t going to be generally useful to people outside these major cities.

Lots of people have fantasies they would like to turn into reality. Short of joining one of these organizations, there was really no good way to do this. With the advent of the World Wide Web and Google, it was easy to just type in whatever interest you had, no matter how kinky, and discover sources of information. This was the birth of the blogosphere. Prior to this, information was available via various text-based systems. You needed a certain amount of technical knowledge to access them. I enjoyed a great deal of sharing on several of these.

Fast-forward to today. You can find blogs on absolutely any subject imaginable. They are sourced in every language on earth. The only problem with them is that there is absolutely no way to know if what they talk about is accurate. Sexually-oriented blogs tend to be expressions of their owners’ fantasies. They are often presented as fact, but really are just fiction and wishful thinking. Many of them feed off of one another. They quote each other and bolster their fantasies by writing a sort of Gestalt super-blog.

It’s interesting for me to try to understand what motivates people to write. Many bloggers are introverts who use their blogs as a way of finding some form of social contact. I think this is true of many sex bloggers. We fit into that category. We decided not to join the local BDSM organization. It had too much of a swinger flavor. We live almost 3000 miles from our homes and haven’t been able to find like-minded friends.

I am more of an extrovert than Mrs. Lion. I miss the people I had come to know who enjoyed similar things. I was very lucky to have found Mrs. Lion. When we first went out, she was a vanilla woman. She always had a very open mind and a willingness to discover new things. I stretched that to the limit. Over time I completely corrupted her. I think she’s happier since I did.

As far as I can tell, I am her only source for kinky knowledge. I don’t think she reads any of the other domestic discipline or male chastity websites. She likes her social media and her friends there are strictly vanilla folks. I wonder if her unwillingness to join the online conversation about our kink is an indication that maybe she doesn’t particularly like it. I’ve always worried that she participates because she knows it’s something I want. That makes me feel a little like I’m exploiting her.

From what I can determine reading other bloggers, it’s not unusual for the female, dominant partner to eschew reading online material about kink.  It doesn’t seem reasonable to imagine that all of the disciplinary wives are being exploited by their spank-seeking husbands. The reason could be simpler.

The simple fact is that it’s the men who ask for disciplinary or chastity activity. Because sex underlies a lot of this, the guys are driven to look for more exciting things to do as time goes by. Their partners, on the other hand, are probably more interested in evolving their disciplinary relationships with a view toward providing their partners with the boundaries they need. They aren’t driven by the sexual desire for more and more.

If you are wondering how all this ties together, I think in our case blogging moved from a simple desire to share into an opportunity for us to have a dialogue that supports our disciplinary and male chastity activities. One blogger recently wrote that he thought blogs that talked about the interest of the owner of the blog, died because the owner ran out of things to talk about. I think that’s true. Most blogs don’t last more than a few years at most.

The ones that keep going seem to be about the lives of their owners. Mrs. Lion and I don’t feel any pressure to come up with new ideas to titillate our readers. We’re satisfied sharing our lives and the trials and tribulations of integrating our kinks into a happy marriage. As it turns out, because each of us writes almost daily, the blog becomes an important communication channel for us. I think we are unique in this respect. Maybe this isn’t a blog at all. Perhaps it’s a sitcom, “Life With The Lions.” I hope we keep getting good ratings.

Listen to this post.

4 Comments

  1. In some ways, you are certainly right, dear Lion. We (the readers) know your ass in great detail, but we have never seen your face 🙂

  2. Interesting insite into the mind of a blogger. I started one about ten years ago and for a while were posting fairly regularly, perhaps one or two a week with photos too. But then four years ago things in our external world changed and we sort of lost inspiration. I am hoping that we can recover and begin posting again. Of course we have probably lost all of the regular readers and essentially would have to start from scratch.

    As far as the local BDSM scene, its too bad you weren’t around when the ‘Wet Spot’ was going strong. It was a great space and attended by a great group of people. Sadly, the building got sold and the group never recovered.

    1. Author

      Mrs. Lion and I were here when the Wetspot was running. We even joined and went through the rather pathetic orientation. I knew its founder Alena for over 20 years. We met at big events in other cities. We spent time together at the NLA conventions in Portland. I was a presenter at three of them. She told me all about her org. When we got to Seattle, we joined. Being from NY, I was put off by the swinger club flavor there. In the East, sex was not part of the organized BDSM scene. Mrs. Lion was never very fond of clubs or parties and I was put off by the atmosphere at the wet spot. We did attend a workshop on sounds. It was good. I ran one on aging and BDSM. We also donated over $2,500 worth of toys and equipment to help out. We never even got a “thank you”. This was all before they lost their location. At that point, I figured it wasn’t for us. Too bad.

  3. If this kind of anonymity gives you a lot of freedom in publishing, then praise God that it still exists.

What do you think?