Yesterday, I had a training session at the gym. I’m appalled at how much strength I’ve lost as a result of my forced inactivity over the last year. It’s very frustrating to have to struggle to do what I always found easy. Even walking on the treadmill is difficult. I’m generally optimistic, but I have to admit that the discouraging results at the gym have gotten me down.
I’m writing this post on Thursday afternoon (yesterday). Mrs. Lion tried to interest me in edging on Wednesday night. It didn’t work. I wasn’t horny. I’m hoping my interest will improve. Mrs. Lion will, of course, report on how I did later today.
Maybe we are hitting a “dead spot” in our FLRD (Female Led Relationship with Discipline). It feels like we are running on autopilot. I’m careful to follow my rules. ’m doing it more out of habit than for any other reason. In the scheme of things, that’s the desired state. But it means there is a distinct lack of excitement.
I don’t expect a three-ring circus every night. I don’t expect Mrs. Lion to look for ways to entertain me. It’s just that the novelty has worn off and we haven’t found anything to spark our interest. So, we struggle to decide what’s for dinner, eat, watch TV, and go to sleep. There’s some snuggling and hand holding, but no real sparks.
I’ve been wild (out of a chastity device) for about a week now. Mrs. Lion is waiting for my penis to heal. It is getting better and I’ve had no pain for days. Maybe by wearing the device, we create a situation where we almost have to think and talk about sex. Wearing a chastity device is a bit like telling someone not to think about zebras. I’ll bet you are thinking of one now.
It’s the same thing. The device is just there, hanging from my body. It denies access to something that probably wouldn’t be touched anyway. But neither of us can touch it so long as that device is there. It’s impossible for me to ignore. Since I am naked at home, Mrs. Lion is reminded of its presence when we are in a room together. It’s our zebra.
When I’m caged, Mrs. Lion generally unlocks me every night for some teasing. Sure, we miss a night now and then, but its become a ritual for us. When I’m wild, the ritual isn’t needed. It isn’t that Mrs. Lion forgets. I don’t think of it.
I know, it makes no sense. Why should my interest in sex fade when I’m always available to enjoy it? Maybe I want what I can’t have. Of course, I can’t have sex, wild or not. Mrs. Lion decides when she wants to play with me. It has to be the cage; or at least, what it symbolizes. I realize that I am turned on by bondage. Wearing the cage is always a turn on at some level.
Once I’m done healing, I’m going to be locked up again. We’ll see if my theory is correct. Stay tuned.