Sometimes I don’t think I am very bright. Here I am on this blog having written over 1,000 posts and the light bulb finally goes on. I finally get it.
Let me back up a bit. Last night we went out to dinner and then spent a few hours playing the slots at a local casino. This time I remembered to put on the training collar. This is the longest I’ve worn it. Mrs. Lion didn’t zap me once. We joked that she could use it to find me if we were separated in the casino. She could follow the yelps.
Anyway, I noticed that I was watching her carefully to be sure I didn’t eat first or interrupt her. I asked her if I behaved better when wearing the training collar. She told me that I am always on my best behavior when I have it on.
When she zaps me with the training collar, I am always surprised, even if I know it’s coming. As a correction it is close to perfect. I really want to avoid it. During dinner Mrs. Lion had her phone on the table with the training collar app open. I got the point. It’s not that I am afraid of being zapped. I just don’t like it one bit. The best way to avoid a zap is to be on my best behavior. My memory of the right things to do seems to be perfect when that collar is around my balls.
The big ah ha has nothing to do with the collar per se. It’s about the entire point of domestic discipline. I’m turned on by the idea of being spanked. Even though I don’t like a punishment spanking, the idea is arousing. I understand that a lot of guys feel this way. I also find the idea of wearing the training collar hot too. I like the idea that I have to wear it. I also like that I get spanked. Then why does wearing the collar act as a true deterrent and a spanking doesn’t?
There are a few differences between the corrections. The collar is immediate and often public. I have absolutely no control over it. Cooperation isn’t needed. All Mrs. Lion has to do is touch the button on her app. She doesn’t have to be physically near me (within 30 feet or so). Spanking, on the other hand, requires me to bare my butt and lie on the bed. I know what is coming and my feedback can often reduce the severity of the punishment.
I’ve been doing research on the Net about domestic discipline. I’ve been corresponding with a woman who disciplines her husband. Between her blog and our email exchange, I’ve gotten a lot of insights on a mature, domestic discipline relationship. Between that new information and what the training collar has taught me, I think I understand a lot more.
I think it’s fair for me to say that my speakings to date are for my benefit. By that I mean Mrs. Lion spanks me because it is something I want her to do. Also, she is getting experience in her role as my disciplining wife. I never considered how to tell if a punishment is effective. I don’t think Mrs. Lion gave it much thought either. Thanks to the training collar, I now get it.
A spanking, or any punishment for that matter, is effective if my behavior changes so I can avoid another. That is the only measurable result. Mrs. Lion can clearly observe whether I am on my best behavior or not. If I’m not, I must not be too concerned about the consequences. Seems like a reasonable way to judge effectiveness. If my behavior doesn’t change for the better, correction is required. The intensity of the correction really has nothing to do with how I feel about it. Apparently my behavior changes without any need for me to think about the consequences.
In psychological terms this makes a lot of sense. I am conditioned by the adverse stimului to avoid behaviors that will get me more. The training collar is a very effective way to administer adverse stimulus. Spanking is too. Much of my reading on disciplinary spankings give suggestions on how to tell the punishment is effective. Signs like sweating, tears, and passive acceptance are all valid indications that the stimulation is intense.
What isn’t clear is when I have received enough. That can only be judged by my subsequent behavior. If I am on my best behavior for a few hours after the punishment and then revert to my “forgetful” self, there is a need for a stronger reminder. If only a few swats that barely make my butt pink cause me to be on my best for days, then that is enough.
The main reason for punishment is conditioning. It isn’t fear of another punishment that is the motivator. I’m not afraid of the training collar. It’s just a very effective source of correction. So effective, that just wearing it is enough to change my behavior. That effect will wear off after a while. But a few strong zaps will refresh my subconscious and my behavior will immediately improve.
It’s exactly the same with spanking. After some period of time, the conditioning will start to wear off. Another spanking will renew my memory. What’s so surprising to me is that these changes aren’t conscious at all. I am not thinking, “Uh oh. I better watch out or I will get punished.”
It’s nothing like that. I just want to do what Mrs. Lion wants. Go figure. I never believed the accounts I’ve read about guys changing just because they have to wear a chastity device. Or stories of a strong spanking making a real change in a guy. I attributed the changes to fear of another spanking. That’s not the point at all.
Domestic discipline isn’t about horrid beatings. That’s the fantasy. It’s no different than the fantasies about being locked in a chastity device for life. Hot fantasies tend to be extreme. My enforced chastity includes lots of orgasms. But I know they are strictly at Mrs. Lion’s pleasure. I’ve learned to be fine with that. My punishments are supposed to hurt, but they aren’t administered to satisfy some inner need of mine or some sadistic fun for Mrs. Lion. They have a real purpose.
I now understand how things are supposed to work. I see that there are objective measures to determine if a punishment is intense enough. There is also an objective way to know when another is needed. I don’t think either of us considered this information as particularly useful. Now I get it.
Even though I understand how all this works, I realize that my changes aren’t conscious. Yes, I can watch my step to avoid a punishment. But that sort of attention doesn’t last very long. The subconscious conditioning is the real benefit. The act of putting on the training collar triggers a positive response in me. I wonder if some physical sign that reminds me of being spanked would have the same beneficial effect. I also wonder if Mrs. Lion agrees with my latest revelation. Stay tuned.