Training Wheels

Anonymous left a very interesting comment the other day. He was a bit surprised that painful punishment for trivial offenses wasn’t harmful emotionally. He said that painful spanking would create dread and would cause him a problem when administered for such minor offenses.

If Mrs. Lion and I considered the spanking an appropriate punishment for a bit of tomato sauce on my shirt, his point would be very well taken. In our case the situation is quite different.

Since we both come from homes where discipline was either absent or so occasional as to make no lasting impression on either of us, there is simply no template to follow. Mrs. Lion isn’t a naturally assertive woman. She has been much happier overlooking issues rather than to make waves. I’ve been extremely independent and completely comfortable being in charge.

We both realized that there are substantial benefits to have a FLR. It would give Mrs. Lion an opportunity to assert her will and wishes. I would learn to be a kinder and more gentle lion. We both agree that these benefits are worth the work to get them.

Simply declaring we are in a FLR changed nothing. We needed a way to “learn” how to live in a FLR, domestic-discipline relationship. I don’t have any serious behavioral issues. I don’t smoke or drink and I haven’t been with another woman since we met. If we tried to wait for the kind of offenses that would truly merit a painful spanking, we would have a very long wait.

So, we decided that we needed to create “good” habits. The only way this could happen is if we lowered the disciplinary bar far enough to assure that Mrs. Lion would have frequent opportunities to observe infractions and punish me for them.

Of course that meant I would be suffering spankings for trivial, even unavoidable actions on my part. These are our training wheels. We both are well aware that the rules I might be breaking aren’t important in the scope of our marriage. But the opportunity for Mrs. Lion to “catch” me and then punish me is very valuable.

Authority is learned. Being a disciplinary wife doesn’t come naturally to Mrs. Lion. As for me, well this is the first time in my life I have been punished. Maybe, after we get good at this, the training wheels will come off and discipline will be reserved for more important infractions. Somehow I don’t see that happening. I think we both need years of work to develop the disciplinary habits we need.