When I first began enforced chastity, I didn’t have any idea how it would fit into my life. When it was new there was a lot of sexual tension and my imagination ran wild. I just didn’t think about it being a routine part of my life. Now that we are in our third year, I suppose that enforced chastity has become routine. It is obviously a permanent part of our marriage and my life.
Tuesday night I had trouble sleeping. At 4 AM my thoughts turned to how sexual things have changed for me. I realized that in some respects wearing a chastity device makes almost no difference. I’ve always been faithful to Mrs. Lion, so the device serves no useful purpose in terms of keeping me away from other women. I do that anyway. Before being locked up I did masturbate when the mood struck. I don’t do that at all any more. Even when I am allowed to be wild I don’t feel any temptation to jerk off. I realized that the years of being under orgasm control has conditioned me to have no interest in pleasuring myself.
Since that is a “negative” — I have been trained to not want to do something — I don’t notice it. You don’t notice what you don’t want. You only notice something is missing if you get a desire for whatever it is that is gone. So, I don’t miss jerking off. I never even think about it. That’s a change.
Another change is that I don’t expect orgasm to be part of my normal sexual experience. Males of all species, lions and humans included, expect to ejaculate as part of every sexual act. It’s how nature assures we reproduce. The incentive to ejaculate is the intense pleasure that goes with it. We call that pleasure an orgasm. It never really occurred to me that I could enjoy sex without release. In fact, one of the big fantasy features of enforced chastity is the desperation to ejaculate. Well, that doesn’t exactly disappear, but it changes.
The desire to ejaculate is primal. When Mrs. Lion takes me right to the edge of ejaculation, I really want to finish. But, of course, most of the time I am not allowed. This is always frustrating and at the moment I acutely feel the crash of reaching the edge with no relief. But overall, I have grown to like being edged. There are advantages too; the main one being that as soon as I reach the edge and get to calm down a little, I’m ready to go again. This is the male equivalent of multiple orgasms. The change for me is that I no longer expect an orgasm. I am prepared to be edged over and over. I like it.
Early in the morning with first light in the sky, I finally got back to sleep. As I dozed off I realized that I look at sex very differently now. Sleep greeted me with a welcoming smile. I smiled back. All is well in this new world.