I’ve been grumpy the last couple of days. I’m frustrated and really want an orgasm. It’s only been a week since my last one so I’m not sure why I’m not just horny. I’ve been questioning what I am doing in enforced chastity. That doesn’t mean I would masturbate to relieve the frustration if I were unlocked. I wouldn’t. I need to feel aroused to actually want to come. I can feel frustrated that I’m not aroused and I can’t come; or I can feel frustrated I’m aroused and can’t come. Either way it’s frustrating.
For me at least, there is a big gap between aroused and frustrated. Frustration results from not being able to do or get what I want or try. It’s a normal feeling that we all have at times. It isn’t productive in enforced chastity. When I’m frustrated I am not looking for ways to satisfy my need. I’m just annoyed that I’m not getting something. When I am aroused, however, I want to satisfy that desire and I will try to find a way to scratch that itch.
Ideally, both feelings are manipulated by a keyholder. Arousal is fed by teasing, verbal and physical. Reminders of what I could have turn me on. Being teased gives me the feelings that mean an orgasm is close. It keeps my interest in pursuing an orgasm high. When I am edged, and reach that moment when just one more stroke would get me to the promised land and she stops, I am both aroused and frustrated. My hope is renewed when she starts again and then I am frustrated as I hump the air.
This is the positive combination of arousal and frustration that makes enforced chastity fun and interesting for both of us. The effects of this last about twenty-four hours for me. So, my sexual battery is fully charged with nowhere to go. That’s frustrating in a good way.
I don’t know why it happens, but every so often frustration overtakes arousal. Wednesday night after being edged a couple of times it started. The frustration persisted on Thursday. I wanted to come. I also realized that if I were unlocked I wouldn’t do anything about it. I have no idea why I felt that way. I wanted 2.0 to give me an orgasm.
I always want Mrs.Lion to get me off, so that wasn’t different. I just felt tired and sad that there was another week to wait for that chance to come. Then I got annoyed at myself for making such a big deal about an orgasm I asked to delay. Illogical, horny, frustrated lion. I can’t be too much fun when I feel this way.I start questioning why I do this. I act like I can stop anytime I want. Mrs. Lion, when I mention it to her, doesn’t say I can’t stop. She just discusses it with me in a way that suggests that I do have that control. I don’t say anything at the time, but it makes me worry that enforced chastity is just something I can control at any time. I don’t want that. I want to hear a firm, “No, we aren’t going to stop even if you are tired of it.” Maybe 2.0 or 2.1 will be more definite.
All this frustration started me thinking about how long I should wait between orgasms. Everyone has an opinion on this. When I am feeling that negative frustration, no wait seems right. But after over two years of this, I have some idea of what works. I am most horny on the 5th day. That suggests the bare minimum wait has to be more than that. After three weeks my interest falls off sharply.I think Mrs. Lion has a good handle on my schedule. My current wait is at least 13 days. It will probably be somewhat longer than that. It’s enough time to maximize the effects of her teasing and play and for me to get desperate for release. Have we reached the point where two orgasms or less per month is right? I don’t like thinking about that, but based on 2.0’s comments, this might be my future.
I don’t think I acted badly because of the recent funk/frustration. But I know Mrs. Lion was aware of it. It’s times like this that I most need her to be firm, even strict and to let me know that I can’t quit or change things. Maybe the frustration is my need for boundaries. I trust 2.0 will help me get back on track.