Usually Lion challenges me by coming up with ideas that take me a while to get my head wrapped around. He asked to be locked up. He asked me to be in charge. He asked me for punishment. But I think the most challenging thing is dealing with him when he’s not interested in sex, or broken, as he calls it. It’s not that he’s grumbling or acting like a toddler. I’d prefer that, actually. He’s in an Eeyore space. “I’m just a broken Lion. Thanks for noticing me.” Now I love Eeyore and I love Lion, but that behavior is difficult to deal with. It’s not annoying, but I don’t know what to do to help.

Today, I plan to clean the bedroom to get rid of dust and pet dander that may be exacerbating Lion’s itching. I say “plan” because I tend to get distracted easily by other things that need to be done. Look! A squirrel! That stack of mail needs to go in the garbage, and then the garbage needs to go out, and then there’s this other thing I needed to do, and then another and another. And before I know it, Lion is home and I haven’t gotten the original task accomplished. If I can stop the itching, I can get the horny Lion back. At least that’s the theory. That’s also part of the theory behind visiting our dungeon this weekend. It’s a closed room that gathers less dust and dog fur so it’s less of a challenge for Lion. Plus there’s a sling. And toys.

I’ve got six days to get my pet tree-humping horny for his scheduled orgasm. Not exactly the countdown to Christmas I was expecting, but we’ll make do. The main thing is to change Eeyore back into Lion.