It Isn’t Always The Main Thing

Since I just started a new job that comes with a sizable commute, our attention has shifted a bit from our FLM and enforced chastity. It’s not that we are losing interest, it’s just that for the moment life is intruding. There’s also that nasty financial problem. Yes, I am working, but my first week’s pay isn’t coming for two more weeks. So, our cash flow is nonexistent and my commute puts more pressure on for gas, etc. My drive is about an hour each way. When I get home my energy isn’t where it used to be. Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday makes it clear that we are returning to business as usual. Her energy is also being drained by the financial worries, so maybe we won’t be as active for a few more weeks, but we are both committed to stay the course.

All of these problems definitely drain emotional and physical energy from both of us. At least for me, sexual things we do live in the moment. It’s difficult to anticipate my next orgasm when the pressure of a new job and financial problems compete for my attention. Cage or no cage, horny or not, survival has to come first. In the past, pressures like this would push sex so far in the background we would completely lose sight of it. Once pushed back, the shared physical experience starts to fade from memory. This is how we spent years with almost no meaningful sex. We both remember that. This is why Mrs. Lion makes such a strong point of not letting us lose focus. When I think about it, I realize how easy it is for me to lose that focus and find reasons we don’t need to play.

I don’t know about other guys, but stress does affect my interest in orgasms. When worries start to take over and sleep becomes elusive, ejaculation falls fast on the lion hit parade. Can I convince the bank to wait another two weeks for a car payment? Will I meet my new boss’ expectations? What was so wrong with me that it took so long to get a job? Can we ever recover financially? You get the idea. All of these questions are valid if not really useful. I tend to think ahead to the consequences of continued current action. Forecasting the future is part of my occupation. I identify and forestall future problems for a living. When the problems are mine, the emotional impact gets in the way of my ability to find options.

What does this have to do with enforced chastity? A lot, actually. I think that most mature people will agree that it is hard to make sexual activity a priority when the going gets tough. Times like this define the difference between a kink and a lifestyle. Kinks can fit in when the mood and circumstances permit. A lifestyle requires that the activity continues regardless of other issues. So, we may lose our cars. We may be eating rice and beans for a while. But we will continue to maintain enforced chastity and FLM. If we have managed to do this even though the world has been crashing in around us, I think it is fair to say that for us, enforced chastity and FLM is our lifestyle. It always isn’t front and center, but it is always there.


  1. Author

    I’m sorry that you’ve faced (and are still facing) such a serious financial battle – I’ve been there too, and I do understand that stress: breathing easier on Friday night because no bank transactions can happen over the weekend anyway; having tapped all the available credit, even the expensive kind; credit card transactions declined – it’s a horrible feeling. That paycheck will be so great to see – rather like a long-deferred orgasm…

    I am curious: without providing enough data to compromise your privacy, what line of work are you in? I know that in mine (I’m an engineer), it’s *very* difficult to find a job after ones mid-forties at the latest.

    It’s a shame really; when I had employees, I often hired from the less-trawled areas – older people, alternative looking/lifestyle, non-degreed – and I had uniformly good luck; I had terrific employees! Especially, I remember one older (probably mid-to-late 50s) gentleman who would consistently give longer time estimates than I wanted to hear, but he’d meet them, and furthermore when the switch was turned on, everything worked. The value of that kind of experience and reliability can’t be overstated, but unfortunately most hiring managers can’t see that.

    So, I hope your new situation works well for you, and that you get your lives back soon. In the meantime, I know a lot of your readers are pulling for you – I certainly am!

    1. Author

      Thank you very much for your support. I am software manager; a field filled with 20-somethings.

      1. Author

        Yes, I’m in the Silicon Valley area, doing hardware/software, and I’m sure lucky that my customers are conservative, slow-moving industry types (my largest segment is industrial automation). I had a contract for a year with a startup – it was a dream gig, and went well enough, but I sure felt out of place…

        My wife and I are both happy not to be that age anymore, though. 🙂

  2. Author

    It can be a grind,but you have each other, and that is huge.

Comments are closed.