I continue to be surprised and find myself understanding and accepting things I once didn’t like. I think that the more you know about a person, the more difficult it is to pass judgement. It always bothered me that some women charge men money to be their long distance keyholders. It felt like cruel exploitation of pathetic guys who are looking for a thrill. I was wrong. It isn’t that every long distance keyholder is a dominant woman offering ethical long distance topping, but a lot of them are. Similarly, lone males who are willing to pay for this service aren’t necessarily pathetic. Mostly, they are desperate.
Any of us who practice enforced chastity can easily understand the intense attraction it can have. The fantasies are powerful and they generate a strong need to experience this particular form of bondage. If there is no one available who is willing to be a keyholder, what options do they have? Many just continue to have the fantasies. Some end up on chastity forums where they live out interactive fantasies with other guys in a similar situation. Some buy chastity devices and lock themselves up.
This is no different than other BDSM practices. Yes, enforced chastity, at least the bondage aspect of it, can be classified as a BDSM special interest group. In most cities you can go to a professional dominatrix, who for a fee, will tie you up, spank you, do whatever your fantasies lead you to. Most don’t offer any sexual services beyond, perhaps, masturbating the bottom. These people fill a need. Many are highly ethical and practice very safe BDSM. I’ve known a number of them who are members of leather organizations around the country. They ethically and honestly fill a need for a price. Anyone who has been a top for any length of time will agree that topping is a service. It can be fun, but it is way more fun for the bottom. That’s why so many tops also bottom. I’m one of them.
On Sunday I was reviewing the stats for the Journal. Referrers are other web sites that have links here. One referrer is a site run by a professional dominatrix. It was on a page she set up offering her services as a professional keyholder. I visited the page and read her offer. It was a clear and honest discussion of what she would do and not do. She offers a service.I didn’t see any prices, but they aren’t really relevant. She is selling her time to help make fantasies come true for men with no other outlet. I think this is a reasonable service and makes sense for guys with no other outlet.
Reading blogs about enforced chastity and FLM is very enlightening for me. Most of us talk about more than the sexy details of our experiences. Bits of our lives are shared as well. These stories show incredible love and courage. Their are couples actively pursuing our kink who also have children with special needs that take almost all of their parents’ free time. Yet, these people find the time and energy to practice enforced chastity and FLM as well as share it with us. Others are coping with chronic illness and manage to be active keyholders.
This sharing means a lot to me. I also learn how differently others practice enforced chastity and FLM. I get to vicariously share their victories and challenges. I find myself cheering their successes and I have shed a tear at some of the painful news shared in their blogs. Even though they may never know I read their blogs, I feel that they are my friends. Sometimes I make a comment on their blogs and they do the same here.
Little did I know that the blogosphere has opened a window into some very special lives. I wish that someday we could all sit down have have dinner together. I assumed that if I wrote every day, this blog would become a journal of our experiences in chastity and FLM. I didn’t realize that it would become a journal of our lives as well.
I don’t know who reads this blog. Some of my fellow bloggers have let me know that they are regular readers. Mrs. Lion and I both like the thought that others enjoy following along with our exploits. We never planned it this way, but we like that you can look through our window and see what we are up to.