A great deal of the forced male chastity folklore revolves around the transformation of the male from inconsiderate thug to simpering submissive. The sexy fantasy has this transformation automatically happening when the lock clicks shut. Many guys try to actually make this change. Has anyone asked the keyholder what she wants?
Speaking from my experience as a former top, submissive service — you know, fetching things, cleaning, chores, etc. — carries a high price for the top. No submissive expects to just do these things without some reinforcement. It’s like being caged and then having your partner just leave you that way with no further activity or conversation. Sound like fun? No? Well, that means your keyholder has just inherited a lot of homework when she agreed to lock you up.
The point is that most of us guy make a lot of assumptions about our keyholders. We expect them to like their new role and to do all those things that will torment and tease us. We expect them to enjoy our service and provide lots of rules, reinforcements, and punishments. Did we ask them if they wanted to do all this? Nope.
The first time my Lioness and I tried this sort of play, I made all the usual assumptions. I expected her to love teasing me and making me wait for my chance to come. I thought she would enjoy making and enforcing rules for me to follow. Basically I assumed that she would make topping me her new hobby, maybe even career. It’s not too surprising that it didn’t work out. She has other things she would prefer doing. Worse yet for my fantasy, sexual service is not at all what she wants from me. She wants romance and vanilla lovemaking, at least within the limits of being caged. That wasn’t how I thought it would work. I imagined she would lie on the bed and demand I eat her; tell me to lick her all over, bathe her, etc. Nope, not at all.
It all comes back to the fact that forced chastity is rarely the idea of our partners. We come up with it and then expect full participation in our fantasy. That sounds more like work to our partners than fun. I realized that I needed an attitude adjustment. I’ve been working on making that change since I’ve been locked up. If you read the featured post and my Lioness’ response, you can see that I haven’t been very successful. However, I now have a fairly clear idea of what I need to do. She’s working hard to give me what I want. I am reciprocating. That’s the whole point; chastity is for us, not something done to us. We need to pay back the favor with our keyholders, not in some fantasy submissive way, but in a way she wants.
As someone new to MC I find this really interesting. The same applies to my relationship with my wife. I’d like to know more about how you’ve approached this part of your relationship
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