I am sure you won’t be surprised to learn that I’ve been thinking about spanking; no, not the standard semi-erotic thoughts I usually have. I’ve been thinking about how corporal punishment fits into a marriage. Since almost every guy has spanking fantasies, there is a sexual incentive to allow being spanked. But, I think most men fear the loss of power than allowing themselves to be punished will cause.

That’s where it gets interesting. It seems that most people think that domestic discipline turns men into submissive wimps. It seems that the assumption is a woman who has the right to spank her husband will turn into a tyrant who will make him a slave. The reality is completely different. I think our experience is fairly typical.

Mrs. Lion wasn’t waiting for the chance to subjugate me. She likes me as her partner, not her kid or slave. It took a long time for her actually to punish me. She doesn’t arbitrarily punish me. She always lets me know what she expects. She also seeks my agreement when she decides to enforce something new. I don’t need to agree. She is fair, almost too fair. The point is that I have not turned into a submissive. I make a lot of decisions for our marriage. Mrs. Lion looks to me for leadership.

That doesn’t stop her from punishing me when I break a rule. It all fits together. I want her to expand her rules to cover my behavior that upsets her. Actually, she has created those rules. She has trouble enforcing them. If I don’t remember to set up the coffee pot, she doesn’t think twice before bruising my bottom. But if I piss her off by interrupting her or acting like a know-it-all, she doesn’t even growl. She withdraws. I’m hoping she will be just as dispassionate about spanking me for interrupting as she is about my forgetting to set up the coffee pot.

Contrary to the fantasies, we communicate about her punishment style. She asks for my feedback after a spanking. We both agree that the punishment is most effective when I hate the spanking and it hurts to sit for a few days afterward. It may seem stupid for me to help her hurt me more and encourage her to find more reasons to punish me. It isn’t. We are both trying to improve our relationship.

After several years of DD, we’ve made great progress. Success means that I suffer a lot more when I’m punished. It also means that I’m held to a higher behavioral standard. Is that a submissive thing? Is it bad or unhealthy? I don’t think so! It’s working very well. I believe that a man has to be very comfortable with himself and his role before allowing himself to accept spousal discipline. I am a happy camper.

In case you didn’t know, our blog is also available as an Apple Podcast. Each post is available almost as soon as it publishes here. If you have an Amazon Echo device, you can say, “Alexa, play the latest from Male Chastity Journal from Apple Podcasts.” She will get you our latest post and will continue reading posts in reverse order of publication. I think that is very cool. We have an Echo in our car, and we sometimes check our posts while we drive. I’m still looking for beta readers for my next book. If you are interested, please get in touch on our Contact Us page.

As Mrs. Lion mentioned in her post yesterday, I’m not sexually cooperative. I don’t know what the problem is. I don’t seem to be getting turned on. I’m not sure why. It may just be a slump. It’s frustrating for both of us. It’s not that I want sex, but I can’t get it up. I don’t want it. Maybe my libido is joining Mrs. Lion. That would make being a sex blogger odd.

I’m pretty sure that isn’t the case, but for the moment, let’s consider whether that would impact our non-sexual activities. Would I start objecting to being punished as a disciplined husband? I, like most men, initiated our domestic discipline partly because the idea of being spanked turns me on. What happens if nothing turns me on? I suppose it no longer matters. There is nothing in our agreement that says I have to get a woody thinking about a spanking. In that sense, it makes perfect sense for me to write about DD.

Mrs. Lion is sure that my interest in sex will return soon. I hope so.

Mrs. Lion suggested having me jerk off while she supervises.

Over seven years ago, Mrs. Lion told me to stop masturbating. I had been jerking off since before puberty. It was an activity that I gave little thought to. The first three years of no-jerking-off, I was locked in a Jail Bird male chastity device. I was only unlocked when Mrs. Lion wanted me to be edged or ejaculate. Temptation wasn’t an issue. By the time I was allowed to be wild for periods of time, I lost interest in masturbating. I guess Mrs. Lion broke me of the habit.

About a week ago, Mrs. Lion wondered if she should have me jerk off while she supervised. My initial reaction was negative. The reason harks back to my earlier marriage. On nights that my wife wasn’t in the mood for sex, and I was, she would say, “I’ll help you.” Her “help” was to tickle my balls while I jerked off. It did feel good, and she didn’t make me do it too often.

My history with Mrs. Lion is a little different. I spent several years with her showing almost no sexual interest. I masturbated a couple of times a week to reduce the tension. Each time I did, I worried that “tonight” might be the rare night she wanted to do something with me, and I wouldn’t be ready because I jerked off. I suppose I would have masturbated more if I didn’t think about that. This history is why I worry about her introducing supervised masturbation into our marriage.

Some couples who practice male chastity incorporate masturbation. In some, the man puts on and takes off the device at his wife’s direction. He also edges himself and gets to jerk off to orgasm when his wife tells him he can. That feels like solo chastity to me. The wife could be a continent away, and it wouldn’t matter. I worry that we could end up that way if Mrs. Lion introduces supervised masturbation. As it is now, I am never told to jerk off. Mrs. Lion provides any edging or sexual release I get. I worry that because it takes less energy and involvement to watch me masturbate, she could start to rely on it as a way of giving me sex.

After all, on nights she wants me to get off, and she is feeling achy or tired, all she would have to do is sit up and watch me play with myself. Now, on nights like that, she does nothing. However, since we have our whiteboard with the number of days since my last release, she is reminded that it may be time to take care of me. If she can do that by having me jerk off, things are easier for her. I guess I feel a sort of distrust that she will take the easier way out of providing sex to me.

Another factor is whether or not I’m still capable of getting myself off. It’s a minor concern. If she can make me come, I should be able to manage as well. My concern is a selfish one. Jerking off isn’t nearly as much fun as having Mrs. Lion get me off. Of course, I prefer her mouth or hands to mine. I worry that she will take the easy way out and let me do the work more. I know that’s not fair to her. She has faithfully kept her promise of teasing me at least every other day. My resistance is pointless. OK, Mrs. Lion, if you want to have me jerk off for you, I will happily do it. You’re the boss, and I trust you.

Some of our consistently popular pages are the articles in the  “Disciplinary Wives Handbook.” I strongly suspect that men are most of the readers. I wrote it hoping that women who have been asked to spank their husbands would use it to understand what they are being asked to do. Mrs. Lion is probably like most of the women who get this request. She wasn’t very interested in researching it. She worked it out for herself. For a long time, I wondered why easily available information would be ignored by the women asked to try a new activity. Finally, I realized what the reason might be.

Think of it this way: Your wife tells you that she wants daily oral attention from you. She goes on to say that she has specific techniques in mind that she read about. She says that she would get you off once or twice a month using her hand. Would you want to research oral sex techniques? If you are dedicated and altruistic, you might. The chances are that you would sigh and do what she asked. The point is that her request had no direct impact on you. You didn’t see any value in doing research.

There are two reasons for this. The first is that she said she wants specific techniques. There doesn’t seem to be any obvious reason to do research. The second is that you don’t see any direct relationship between you and what you like. Asking your wife to spank you is no different. You are asking her to do something for you that has no obvious value to her. You may feel that she will gain control and your obedience. You assume that she wants those things. Maybe she does, but Mrs. Lion didn’t. She was willing to spank me because she loves me. From her perspective, it was much more fun to read Facebook and visit sites that interested her. Disciplining me didn’t seem to need her to spend time doing research.

Like most guys, I asked her to read selected websites that I felt offered value for her as my disciplinary wife. She usually followed through and read what I suggested. She didn’t share my enthusiasm. All this makes sense. If this is most often the situation, is there value in writing informational guides aimed at women who probably won’t read them?

I can take a cynical approach and pretend to direct my writing to women, all the time knowing my audience is male. A lot of what  I find on the Internet does this. So-called guides for disciplinary women are really hot fiction for men to read. Give the public what it wants. I’m pretty sure that guides written for women aren’t as interesting to male readers. That doesn’t mean that men won’t read them. Our guide is proof of that. It’s just that I could rewrite it with more detailed descriptions of spankings. I could “enrich” the content for male consumption.

We started this blog with a firm commitment to only report the truth. We write from our experiences and knowledge. Over the years, we sometimes contradict ourselves as we learn more. This blog has recorded every orgasm I’ve enjoyed since 2014. Each spanking is memorialized here. You can read about every mistake we’ve made and share our successes. I think this is why we have a lot of female readers.

I generally write my posts the day before they’re published. I am writing this post on Monday morning. I forgot to set up the coffee pot for breakfast. Mrs. Lion will most likely spank me tonight. She gave me a rather brief “just because” spanking last week. This one is going to be full-on punishment. I’m not looking forward to it, though thinking about being spanked is arousing me. It’s this odd reaction that assures I will willingly submit when Mrs. Lion is ready. From what I’ve learned, almost all men who ask for domestic discipline have the same reaction to thinking about being spanked. It’s useful. The spanking isn’t less painful or educational just because we get aroused thinking about it. Once the spanking begins, the arousal is completely gone. The arousal is the lure that gets the fish to bite. Once on the hook, the fun is gone.