Context Was The Enemy Of Our Domestic Discipline

It is true that I’ve been sleeping a lot. I don’t know why. I hope Mrs. Lion will take out the massage table for some fun. The other night she played with my penis under the covers. It felt good for a while; then she started rubbing the tip. My urethra was sore for hours after that. I’m not complaining. Today, Saturday is only six days since my last orgasm. No urgency–yet.

My bottom is still a little sore in spots from my spanking three days ago. Mrs. Lion prides herself on improving her spanking skills. Her take on spanking me is very different from mine. It needs to be. She sees spanking me as a service I asked her to perform. I don’t mean that in the sense of giving me a BDSM spanking, though she’s done that a lot in the past.

I asked her to help me improve by using domestic discipline. It took her a while to buy into the concept that she should monitor my behavior and punish me when I need correction. If you’ve been reading our blog for a while, you’ve witnessed the process. I think she’s reached the point where she can comfortably catch and punish me for things beyond the simple rules she’s made in the past.

It’s been my fault that it has taken so long for her to reach this point. I presented domestic discipline in the context of giving her more control in the marriage. She never wanted that. I kept pushing along that role-changing path. To her credit, Mrs. Lion never bought it. What she did buy was the idea that I wanted her to punish me for things that annoy her. That was a big mistake.

The problem with that is it is a loaded request. Mrs. Lion has to consider two very different things. First, she has to observe the behavior that she feels needs correcting, like interrupting. Then, she has to decide if I’m the source of her annoyance or maybe something external upset her. Being a very sweet woman, she almost always decided that she was annoyed by an external issue. Worse yet, she started to protect me by leaving gaps in her thoughts when she sensed I was about to interrupt. That way, she never had to deal with the issue at all.

The result was that I never got spanked for interrupting. We finally figured this out. I should say I finally realized the trap I had set. The correction was simple. First, I had to stop insisting that domestic discipline was a way to put her in charge. She likes the way we are and doesn’t want to change it. Second, she understood that punishing me for interrupting had nothing to do with how my interruption made her feel. She wants me to stop interrupting anyone. Therefore, if she catches me, she punishes me exactly the same way she does when I forget to set up the coffee pot. The context of the interruption is irrelevant.

It’s taken all these words to get to the central point of how our domestic discipline has to work. Context is our enemy. For example, short of yelling, “Duck! A rock is falling!” any interruption, no matter how trivial, is going to be punished. Period.

Obviously, she will have to exercise some judgment, the same way she does when I’m sick, and she doesn’t punish me for forgetting the coffee pot. But we both agree that only rare exceptions will get me off the hook. All this time, the problem has been context. It’s entirely my fault. For us, at least, for domestic discipline to work we need to remove any emotional loading. Everything, whether it is my behavior or a chore, is handled without emotion. If I break a rule, I get punished.