For the record, I’ve said in the past that my problem is not with having an orgasm. The mechanics are there. Given the opportunity, I can have an orgasm. The problem is that I don’t want one. Let me clarify. That doesn’t mean I won’t take one if it’s offered. It means that I won’t ask for one or go out of my way to get one. I’m not horny. I can take it or leave it.
However, Lion offered to lick me last night and my first thought was I didn’t want him to do it. Part of me was worried about his shoulder. Part of me just didn’t care if I had an orgasm or not. And part of me knows that Lion isn’t much of an initiator so it always feels forced to me when he does initiate. I guess I wonder what he wants. Why is he being so nice to me? And that’s absolutely ridiculous because he’s never done anything like that. I think it’s probably because it’s a stereotype that people want something when they uncharacteristically do things for you.
Son: Here, Mom. Let me take the garbage out for you.
Mom: What do you want?
Obviously Lion doesn’t need to get something to give something, but when it comes to initiating sex, it does raise an eyebrow. He just doesn’t do it often.
Yes, it felt good. Yes, I did eventually get to an orgasm. The mechanics are still there. It’s the logical outcome when one is being licked. And yes, I realize this means it’s probably some psychological thing that’s keeping me from feeling horny. Although, maybe not. I just don’t know.
Lion wants to make orgasms for me a regular occurrence. He’s said it before and it didn’t happen. I’m willing to try but I don’t want to put any pressure on either of us. If the mind is the biggest sex organ, then pressure is probably the worst thing for it. We’ve both got a lot of pressure on us right now between injuries and unpacking. Let’s just see how it goes.