Introducing a chastity device to your partner is not the first step in getting her to lock you up. My previous post, “The Best Way To Get Her Started In Male Chastity” is the first step. It explains how to introduce orgasm control in your relationship. That is definitely how to start. Your partner learns how to take control of your orgasms and you learn sexual obedience.

Very few, if any, women like the idea that locking their partners’ cocks in hardware is the only way to assure they won’t wander or jerk off. Orgasm control without a chastity device is a relatively small step for her. It’s a nice gift that she can enjoy using.

If you’ve been successful introducing orgasm control and you have been made to wait a few times, you are on your way to wearing a chastity device. Bear in mind that the device is something you want. You should assume that  she won’t see any particular value in locking you up. If she is willing to do it, she is indulging your fetish. She knows orgasm control requires no hardware. Read this paragraph again.

You must understand that the hardware is something you want to wear. Don’t even think about telling her she should lock you up to assure your fidelity and obedience to her orgasm control. This is critical. You have been showing her your obedience and have been allowing her to control when you get to come. No hardware needed.

If you still need convincing, consider what telling her you need to be locked up to avoid masturbation or cheating means. It means that you don’t care enough about her to honor your promises and commitments to her. Do you really want to say that? I hope not.

I’ll bet you have been fantasizing about her locking you up so you have to be a good boy. They are just fantasies that you can enjoy. If you want the reality of wearing a chastity device, keep those thoughts to yourself.

How do you introduce the hardware to her?

It’s actually a lot easier than you think. By introducing orgasm control first, she’s learned that you really like her controlling if and when you get to ejaculate. Maybe she has even learned about edging and she teases you that way between orgasms. Hopefully, you’ve given her enough time to make orgasm control part of her life.

She’s accepted her controlling role. Sex for her and, occasionally for you is completely under her control. Have you reached this point? If not, she isn’t ready to lock you up. Bookmark this post and come back to it when she’s ready.

Now that she is fully in control of your orgasms, you can introduce the chastity device. I favor a direct approach. Mine to Mrs. Lion was something like this:

Me: “I think it would be very hot for me to wear a chastity device.”

Her: “A what?”

Me: “It locks on my penis and prevents me from getting hard and having an orgasm. You have the key and can unlock me when you want to use my penis. Otherwise it’s safely locked away.” (I show her the inexpensive Chinese device I ordered from

Her: (handling the device) “Doesn’t this hurt to wear? It looks mean.”

Me: “I don’t know. I’ve been doing some reading. If we like having me wear this full time, we can order one custom made to fit me exactly. I’ve read that those would be very comfortable for full time wear.”

Her: “You really want to do this? You want to wear this all the time, even to work?”

Me: “I’d like to try. Maybe we could agree on a trial period and at the end of the trial decide if I will continue to wear it. We can take a break if the device hurts me. That will give me a chance to order one that is a better fit. What do you think?”

Her: (Long pause) “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Me: “Yes. I’ve thought about it a lot.”

Her: (Long pause) “Ok. How long should our trail period be?”

Me: “Three months?”

Her: “Really? That long.”

Me: (Longer pause) (Softly) “Yes.”

Her: “Ok, we’ll try it. (Picks up the chastity device) How does this work?”

It was easy for me because Mrs. Lion is very open to trying things I want. She had long known I like kinky stuff and this latest kink wasn’t shocking for her. She was sure I wouldn’t last the three months, but decided to indulge me.

The most important factor in this dialogue is that I didn’t even imply that she needed the device to keep me from cheating. The device was presented as something that turns me on and would like to try. Yes is easy in this context.

Even after over three years of constant wear, Mrs. Lion didn’t consider it something she needed. She understands that it’s something I like. It’s part of the game. It’s a game she likes to play, but it is a game nonetheless.

That’s the key. Wearing a chastity device is part of a game. In this game I lose the ability to ejaculate at will. It’;s a game I love to play.