I need to give you my side of the story that Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday. She talked about how upset I am about traveling in our camper when we don’t have access to TV. It probably seems lame to you that I am unhappy about camping (you really have to stretch it to call it camping) without my satellite TV. Let me explain.

We have a very luxurious 36-foot fifth-wheel trailer. It it air conditioned with a full kitchen and bath. There is a 40-inch flat screen in the living room and a 32-inch one in the bedroom. We have a couch and two recliners in the living room. Sound nice? It is. The trip planned for today is five days at a state park in the middle of nowhere. The nearest supermarket is twenty miles away. There is no cell phone service, hence no Internet, and no local TV. Idyllic?

It is if you like being in the middle of nowhere.

The campground is noisy at night with other trailer and RV owners having campfires and doing other outdoor stuff. If campfires are allowed, the smoke is so thick it feels like you are in the middle of a forest fire. Neither us cares much for outdoorsy, campground stuff. So we sit inside breathing filtered, air-conditioned air

The park is on the Columbia river and has a beach (rocks no sand). Our dog likes to wade there. We don’t know a soul in the area or at the park.

You should know that we live on the side of a mountain and have to strain to see any neighbors. In fact, with the trailer parked on our side lawn, the view is actually better than where we are going. We joke that if we had a sewer connection and a 50 amp electrical service, we could just camp there and save the driving.

We spend our days exploring (by truck) the area around us. We’ll travel an hour or more from the park to visit sites that appeal to us. Most of the time, we leave in the late morning and return at 4:30 or 5:00 in the afternoon. Mrs. Lion does the driving. She likes it and really enjoys these trips. I like them too, especially because Mrs. Lion is only distracted by the road and we can talk and talk.

When we get back to the trailer, the dog gets a walk and possibly a swim. We then hang around. Translated, Mrs. Lion is deep in her iPad. I wander around the trailer and eventually settle down to some afternoon TV from the satellite. We then either cook dinner or go out. When we get back, same thing. Usually Mrs. Lion is achy from the long day of sightseeing. Around 11 pm we go to bed. Many nights she will tease me or even get me off. She complains that the bed makes it very difficult to sit next to me and jerk me off. I really appreciate the effort she puts in.

Occasionally, maybe once or twice on a trip, Mrs. Lion will bring out her CBT kit and  put clothespins on my balls or Velcro on my cock. In the four years we have been “camping”, with an average of ten trips a year, I can count the number of times I’ve been tied up on one hand, and the number of times I’ve been spanked on the other hand.

So, when Mrs. Lion writes that we will play at least two times on this trip, I suspect she means she will tie up my balls or use her trusty Velcro or clothespins. Yes, that is cool, but in her post she indicated that play would be a diversion that would stop me from missing TV. The problem is that this sort of play takes maybe fifteen minutes. The other issue is that after a day of driving and sightseeing, she isn’t in the mood for anything very active. The same is true when we are home. She often writes about her plans for me. But when it is time for play, she is exhausted and hurting. It just doesn’t happen.

I’ve learned not to expect those plans to happen. I don’t mind, when we are home. Sure, I wish we could do the things she writes that she will do that night. But I get it. Life almost always intrudes. I am lucky in one very important respect; Mrs. Lion almost every night teases me or gives me an orgasm. That is one good intention she makes happen all the time. I love that.

Back to the campground. Even if she is up to playing, there is little room in the bedroom to move. The queen-sized bed pretty much fills the space. So play, even spanking isn’t exactly easy. Mrs. Lion manages, but it is difficult. She ends up kneeling on the bed – remember that she has trouble sitting up on it, much less kneeling – and while trying to balance, swat me. At home she can stand up with me lying face-down on the bed.  Swatting is a cinch. We talked about trying with me over her lap. I suspect that will be very difficult in the trailer.

Mrs. Lion likes games. That’s what keeps her buried in her iPad during her/our free time. I’m not that interested in them. I like to read. I can do that on the trip. But not for 3 or 4 hours every night. That’s why I’m unhappy about this situation. When we had our first travel trailer, after the second trip with just DVD’s to watch, I couldn’t stand it and bought a portable Dish TV Tailgater. When we traded that camper in for our current fifth wheel, we got a roof-mounted DirecTV HD system. We have DirecTV at home, so we just bring receivers from the house for our trips. It saves us a lot each month.

I don’t think I am being a brat. I’m a native New Yorker and lived in Manhattan or a nearby suburb for most of my life. RV’s and campgrounds are not in my DNA. Mrs. Lion’s family as well as her first husband, had RV’s and took trips in them. I have no idea what they did with their time. Whatever it was, clearly we aren’t doing that now.

That’s my side of the story. We are on the road today and will be set up at the park by mid-afternoon. We have some work to do to finish sterilizing the water system (you need to do this if you don’t use your trailer all year round). Then, maybe we’ll drive 30 or 40 miles for dinner. We’ll get home by 9pm. Mrs. Lion will be exhausted and will sink into her recliner and play “Kill The Vegetable”, or whatever game she has on the iPad. I can play a DVD. We bought some movies. Or I can stare at the TV wishing I could watch my stories. If I watch a movie, we can head for bed at 11. Mrs. Lion can get much-needed sleep. Due to my sore shoulder, I’ll lie in bed a while then turn on my reading light and wish I could watch some late night TV. I’ll go into the living room and sit in my recliner and read. Eventually, I’ll go back to bed and the drugs will give me pain relief and sleep.

I hope you can see that there isn’t a lot for me to look forward to in this scenario. To be fair, I love our adventures. We’ve been to this area at least four times in the past, and I’m sure we can fill the day with laughter and fun. We love to do things together. But when the sun goes down and my lioness is exhausted and achy, I’ll sit in my recliner and long for the distraction the TV would provide.