Over 60 years ago, Walt Disney created four keys that every Disney park cast member had to know and follow. The idea was to encapsulate the spirit of what he thought an experience in his park should be. This concept works very well. It’s easy to remember and provides an excellent basis for conduct. I think that a slightly modified version of these keys makes sense for domestic discipline. Here they are.
This is the most important key. Safety must be in both partners’ minds. The first rule is a safeword. Regardless of how you think about punishment versus play, a safeword is required. It gives the disciplined partner the ability to stop a spanking or other punishment instantly when in distress. The instant a safeword is used, the activity stops, and the issue is handled.
The second and equally important safety aspect is knowing how to use your tools. A wood or leather paddle can do serious damage if applied in the wrong places. Learn the correct spanking techniques. If you do mouth soaping, understand that soap can cause burns in the mouth if left in too long. Read about the activities you want to do and learn how to do them safely. This doesn’t mean you can’t give a severe spanking that draws some blood. Just understand what you are doing.
It’s important that theme park employees are always courteous to guests. It’s not so obvious how important courtesy is in a power exchange. Most people who imagine themselves in a submissive role consider courtesy a sign of respect. It is. No matter how strict or severe the situation, courtesy comes before discipline. Mrs. Lion is always courteous when she tells me to ride the spanking bench. Because she smiles and says “please” doesn’t mean I can say no. My answer is always “Yes, Ma’am.” This applies to day-to-day communication. The actual session might be very different.
In a theme park, every cast member considers themselves on stage when in a public area. They wear costumes and stay in character at all times. They want guests to feel immersed in their fantasy experiences. The same is true of domestic discipline. Even though it is a serious power exchange, there are still expectations of how discipline is administered.
Show isn’t acting out a fantasy. It’s maintaining the symbols of power and discipline. These symbols can range from elaborate costumes and dialogue to a simple statement that punishment is coming. The Disciplinary Wives Club talked about “lecture” This was a stern speech about the offense and how it caused the disciplinary wife displeasure. The idea was to install shame to accompany the spanking. This is a very good example of show. It didn’t matter if the disciplinary wife was angry or not. The show included a stern lecture.
Exactly how you want to handle this aspect of discipline is something both partners discuss and understand. The idea is to amplify the benefit of the punishment. I know that when Mrs. Lion doesn’t give me a reminder of why I am being spanked, my mind can wander. I don’t associate my sore bottom with my offense. Don’t underestimate show.
It’s obvious why theme park cast members need to be efficient. It helps keep costs down. There is a similar reason for it in domestic discipline. I’ve seen too many people drop DD because it consumed their lives. It’s natural for a disciplined partner to want to focus on behavioral issues and punishment. There’s a sexual kick to doing it. The disciplinary wife is almost always less interested in being consumed by discipline.
This key is a reminder to set limits on how much focus is to be placed on DD. People who make domestic discipline a part of their lives don’t spend much time talking about it. If I break a rule, Mrs. Lion lets me know. When she is ready, she will take out the spanking bench and invite me to ride it. We don’t discuss spanking. I usually have no idea what she used to beat me. She likes me to tell her if my bottom hurts the next days, but that’s it. The disciplinary activities are confined to catching me and spanking me. The rest of the time we are a typical couple.
Efficiency dictates that the rules are kept simple. There can’t be any debate about whether or not one is broken. When in doubt, administer a spanking. Whenever Mrs. Lion starts worrying about a “grey” area in terms of my earning punishment, things tend to go off the rails. I suggested that she always err on the side of punishing me. The concept of fairness can sap efficiency out of our relationship. The simple truth is that I never resent being spanked. I am not allowed to argue about whether or not I deserve a spanking. As Mrs. Lion puts it, “You probably did something else I forgot to punish you for.”
The keys are useful
The four keys provide a foundation for a safe and satisfying domestic discipline marriage. They work for us for the same reason they work for theme parks. They provide a sensible, prioritized framework for how to go about our disciplinary relationship. They work.