Black And White

yes no maybe keys
Edge me? Orgasm? Punish? All decisions that challenge Mrs. Lion.

One of the most difficult issues that Mrs. Lion and I face is consistency. It isn’t Mrs. Lion’s problem; it’s mine. There is something in the DNA of submission that craves utter consistency about everything in the power exchange. This need can get pathological. In fact, I suspect that many budding D/S relationships die birthing because of the impossible demands that submissive partner puts on his spouse.

I admit that I suffer from a mild form of this disease. Mrs. Lion has been extremely kind about indulging me. One area that is particularly sensitive for me is teasing. When we first started enforced chastity, I was afraid that Mrs. Lion would lock me up and let me stew for a long time before her weenie would see the light of day. I was pretty paranoid about this.

Mrs. Lion obligingly edged me every other day. I was still unhappy. So, being the sweetheart she is, I got unlocked almost every day. In fact, when there is a good reason to skip a day, she is apologetic. I’m grateful for her concern. She wants to make me happy. She does. I love the sexual attention.

Our power exchanges have matured. I no longer fear that I will be locked and forgotten. I know that Mrs. Lion thinks about her weenie. She isn’t going to forget that I love the sex she gives me. I think it’s time that I let her know that the every-day edging isn’t something I need. It’s something I like; the same way I like orgasms.

The other night she mentioned that she sometimes feels bored unlocking and edging me every night. I can understand that it can almost feel like a chore. I don’t want that. It’s not fair. In a way, I am controlling her. I’m not suggesting that she never edge me. I think she should unlock me when she feels like it. When I got home from my last trip, I was as horny as I always am after five days. There was no edging while I was away. So, the old argument that without frequent teasing, I will lose interest isn’t always correct.

Teasing, like orgasms, could be at Mrs. Lion’s whim. I know that orgasm timing is something she thinks about. We discussed it the other night. I don’t have any real ideas either. I know, I know, many readers think that the longer the wait, the better. We don’t agree with that. I admit that I like it when I look at the “Lion’s Sex Life” widget and it shows my wait is long. Of course, I love it when I get to ejaculate. It’s a puzzlement.

There are times when it is logical that I not get edged or given an orgasm: after I get punished is one example. I think that when I am punished, I don’t deserve sexual attention. The punishment is absolutely not sexual; not one bit. So following it on the same day with sex, is a bit confusing to me. I also think that maybe in addition to spanking, some additional consequences may be in order.  One possibility that I guarantee I will not like, is withholding sexual activity for a time.

Mrs. Lion has resisted this as a consequence of naughtiness. I am not suggesting that she should change her thinking. See? I am not trying to make things worse for myself; just attempting to rationalize things. I think that there should be no sexual activity close (and that can be days) to a punishment. As punishments get more painful, any sex should be avoided. Besides, I am not very responsive after being beaten.

There’s no question that I love sexual attention. It’s amazingly nice that I get it daily. But if this frequency of attention is starting to feel like a chore to Mrs. Lion, it’s time for a change. Maybe edging should be a reward. Maybe Mrs. Lion should edge me when she gets that urge to make me come. Undoubtedly, that will reduce my actual orgasm frequency. But it may make edging as special for Mrs. Lion as it is for me.



  1. Author

    Isn’t it Mrs. Lion’s prerogative to decide if there’s sexual activity after punishment. If she feels getting licked is relaxing her after working on a punishment for you, she should order you to please her, shouldn’t she?

    1. Author

      The sex I was referring to was sex for me, not for her. For that matter, if she wants me to be edged or given an orgasm, it doesn’t matter what I want.

  2. Author

    I’m surprised you’re in the mood for edging after the types of spankings you’re now getting. Seems like being that sore would be distracting. Do you at least need some sort of post-spanking recovery period?

    1. Author

      Mrs. Lion doesn’t start sexual activity right after punishment. She waits at least an hour (like the old rule: wait an hour after eating before swimming). I was suggesting that withholdnig sexual activity for some time might be an enhancement to the punishment.

      1. Author

        I got that. I was wondering how much impact denying edging would have had on you because it seemed like post-punishment edging is probably not all that fun due to the after-effects of the now much more severe punishment.

  3. Author

    Ok, so my guy and I are brand new to this caging thing… He approached me with the idea, and I’m all about it! But, I’ve got some questions… (I’m gonna show my ignorance, here…). When I edge him, do I take him out of the device? I mean, isn’t that sort of defeating the purpose of it? (to not have contact?)

    We aren’t into any punishment stuff, it’s strictly a fun s/D play thing, so give me some ideas you pros!!!

    Lion and Mrs, thanks for your openness… I’ve learned a lot already!

    1. Author

      I’m sure the Lions will answer when they are feeling better. But I’ll add my two cents worth. You can tease your boy with the cage on. That can be very erotic but it is difficult to edge him with the cage on. Virtually impossible! However you can take the cage off and edge him for a bit and then recage him. If you like leave the ring on him while you edge him–it acts like a cock ring and makes recaging him easier later.

      1. Author

        Got it! I like the idea of leaving the ring on… Keep him reminded (I like cock rings anyway). Thanks.

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