It was an eight day wait between orgasms this time. That’s about average lately. For reasons I have absolutely no clue about, it takes a very long time to get me to the edge. To save her arm muscles, Mrs. Lion used the power tool: the Magic Wand. This is an industrial-strength vibrator. In Mrs. Lion’s skilled hands it has never failed to get me off. Still, it took nearly 30 minutes before I got to the edge. When I was extremely close, she took the vibrator away and I humped air for a while as I tried to get over the edge.
She let me calm down a little bit, then applied the power tool again. Usually when she does this, it takes very little time for me to get back up to the top of the curve. This time it didn’t. She needed quite a few more minutes of stimulation before I got back to the edge. This time, she kept on and I had a very nice orgasm. I have no idea why my physiological reactions are changing like this. Apparently I can be reliably made to ejaculate with enough patience and energy.
I’ve never really talked about this, but it is a fairly odd feeling to be sexually passive. On very few occasions have I been allowed to be the master of my orgasm. I’m not referring to masturbating. I know I’ll never be able to do that again. A few times Mrs. Lion has let me hump her hand until I came. Usually, sex is me lying on my back and Mrs. Lion providing stimulation. If and when I ejaculate is purely up to her. My participation is limited to providing an erect penis.
Of course that comes with the territory. I surrendered all sexual control. Even if I were allowed to hump my way to glory, it would only be at the pleasure of my lioness. I know full well that orgasm is not necessarily part of sex that I experience. In fact, ejaculation only occurs only a few percentage points of the time. This is highly unusual for any male. Until six years ago, just like other guys, ejaculation was something I produced on demand. Most of the time, in the last few years, it was by my own hand. Before that, it was inside my lioness.
Lots of guys who practice male chastity romanticize this lack of control. They feel it is a very sexy form of submission. Surrendering our orgasms to a woman is a very hot concept. But, over time it takes its toll. I don’t feel like straying in order to find sex that I control. I have absolutely no desire for that. I don’t want Mrs. Lion to let me call the shots either. What we are doing works very well for us. I have no wish to change it. That doesn’t mean these feelings don’t come up.
I wonder if other guys in similar situations feel those little doubts about such a strong loss of control. Mrs. Lion and I both realized that if we were to be successful with our power exchanges, we had to be as consistent as humanly possible. When it comes to sex, that consistency has been absolute. Yes, occasionally I’ve fondled my penis when it wasn’t locked in a male chastity device. Mrs. Lion knows that. I’ve gotten myself erect, but never aroused enough to be close to ejaculation. All I’ve managed to do was make myself hornier. This is how Mrs. Lion intends it to be.
The problem for me is that when things aren’t going that well, when Mrs. Lion is tired or stressed, she is very unlikely to want to do anything sexual with me. I’m fine with that most of the time. However, if more than a couple of days go by without some sort of teasing or other sexual activity, I ask her to do something. When I do, she almost always agrees and provides some sort of sexual stimulation.
She’s wonderful that way. The thing is, I feel very guilty about asking her. I understand that there are lots of outside pressures competing for her time and energy. Sexually satisfying, or at least, teasing me has to take a relatively low spot in her priorities. Again, that’s perfectly understandable and I can accept it. But I also feel the biological pressure for stimulation. Some men are naturally submissive. They enjoy being put into a low priority category. It’s arousing for them to feel that they are ignored because they aren’t important. For them, it’s really hot when their partners pay no attention to them physically.
That doesn’t work for me. I’m not submissive by nature. That means that when I’m not receiving sexual attention, I feel a combination of guilt and anxiety. I’m anxious for her touch. It doesn’t matter whether I get an orgasm or not. It’s just incredibly validating to feel her hand sexually stimulating me. I may not make a lot of sense to you, but it’s how I feel. One of the most important clauses in our original male chastity contract was that Mrs. Lion would unlock me and edge me at least once every other day. She came up with that. It was clear then that I needed the attention, if not the sexual satisfaction of an orgasm.
It’s not that Mrs. Lion goes for long stretches without playing with me. She doesn’t. However, it’s generally the last thing she does in the evening. Sexual activity comes behind almost everything else in terms of her time. I recognize that some of the things need to be done before me. These include the food preparation and cleanup, punishments for me if earned, and her shower and other personal activities. The problem with that is that it’s often 10 PM by the time she’s ready for some bed activity. I’m not doing well at that hour of the night. I can’t explain what the problem is, but I’m just tired and I don’t respond well sexually. To make things worse, I’ve been falling asleep in the early evening while Mrs. Lion is occupied with her other activities. This seems to bother her.
I’ve noticed that when I have these naps, usually 30 to 60 minutes long, she doesn’t seem interested later in any play activity. It’s as if the fact that I fell asleep indicates that I’m not interested in activity with her. This is absolutely not true. I can’t control these periods of sleep. They come on me with no warning. Some of the time, when I wake up, I’m confused because I wasn’t aware that I slept at all. This seems to be a regular occurrence. I’ve talked to people about it and it’s not unusual or unhealthy. It’s just my fatigue. The pain in my shoulders restricts the amount of time I can sleep uninterrupted. I seem to be making up for that with these cat naps.
Mrs. Lion doesn’t seem willing to wake me up to do things. And she behaves as though once I’ve had one of these naps, I’m done for the night. I’m hoping we can change that. I’m also hoping that we can change our evening routine so that we start things earlier. There would be a huge help. We’ve had a few conversation along these lines. Mrs. Lion has agreed to try. Still, we haven’t figured out how to get this to work correctly.
I’m sure we will work it out. This is just a different phase in my life. I have to work on feeling less guilty about needing attention. I also have to work with Mrs. Lion on changes we can make that work for both of us. We have an excellent track record of being able to do this. I’m very sure we will work this out to both of our satisfaction.