giant cedar trees
Giant cedar trees populate the woods here.

We had a very nice Saturday. We explored the area around where we are camping. We are in the San Juan islands, one of the most unique and beautiful areas in the Northwest. Giant cedar trees tower over one-hundred feet in the air. The trunks are over six feet in diameter and the wide grooves in the bark are populated with lichen and moss.

As is our custom, we visited the local casino last night. We had a lot of fun while losing not too much money. Neither of us displayed any particular interest in sexual activity. This isn’t unusual for the day after I have an orgasm. Also, while it may seem more romantic, the tighter space in our small camper bedroom makes play more problematic.

All that said, we seem to have a pattern where if we are very active on a given day, sexual activity is suspended that night. I’m not complaining because more often than not, I’m not interested. Mrs. Lion has posted from time to time that she regrets the lack of activity.

Mrs. Lion hasn’t wanted sex for herself and reasons that since all the sex is for me, if I’m not that interested, then there’s no reason to do anything. That is perfectly reasonable. Hypothetically, if she wanted frequent orgasms for herself, then my level of interest wouldn’t control sexual activity in our house. If we both wanted sex, then the odds are much better that on any given night at least one of us would be horny.

In my case, when I get horny, I don’t necessarily get an orgasm, but I do get teased and edged. That certainly counts as sex. Mrs. Lion is doing a great job as my keyholder and a disciplining wife even without the incentive of hot and cold running orgasms for herself.

She knows I feel guilty about this situation. Even though on one level I understand that she is getting benefits from what we are doing, on another I feel very selfish. I know it’s not easy for her. Yet, she does it. I worry that we can’t go on this way forever. I don’t like this being all about me.

Even so, I don’t want her to feel pressure that she has to start having orgasms in order to assuage my guilt. As much as we both hope her libido will return, it might not. Now that we are more than halfway through our third year, it’s unlikely I will stop worrying and feeling guilty. Maybe this is the price of enforced chastity for me.

What I want most of all is to help make Mrs. Lion happy. That is far more important to me than enforced chastity and FLR.