If male chastity is all about sex, what happens when the caged male isn’t interested in having any? At the moment I’m not really interested. My libido isn’t very high. Even though it’s been a week since I last came, I have no real interest in sex. Of course, I am still in the Jail Bird. But it isn’t serving any particular purpose at the moment. Or is it?
One of the best things about enforced male chastity is that sexual gratification doesn’t have to be mutual. In some relationships, the keyholder has very frequent orgasms while her locked partner doesn’t have any. In others, like ours, the keyholder isn’t interested in sex and usually, I am. After being in a chastity device for some time I’ve learned that an orgasm for one partner doesn’t require the other to have one too. In vanilla marriages when one partner is having sexual fun and the other isn’t, bad feelings can develop. That’s simply not the case with us.
We have an explicit agreement that I get orgasms when Mrs. Lion decides I should have one. She gets orgasms when she wants them. It may seem unfair to some, but I find this arrangement very satisfactory. In fact, I get more sexual stimulation from my lioness than I have had at any other time in our relationship. Ironically, the opposite is true of her. She is getting less than at any other time we have been together. That’s because she doesn’t want them.
It’s my theory that humans function better when roles are very explicitly defined. In the absence of explicit agreement, assumptions are made that inevitably result in misunderstandings and hurt feelings. I can’t claim that I was very aware of this before we began my enforced chastity. I saw it as a power exchange that excited me. It was my surrender of sexual control. I never considered that besides being a power exchange, enforced chastity was actually a treaty.
We had a lot of unspoken feelings about our sex lives. Both of us felt unfulfilled. A widening physical chasm had opened and after a number of years we had no idea how to close it. When I rediscovered chastity devices and decided to ask Mrs. Lion to be my keyholder, I had no idea that what I was doing would end up bridging that gap and would restore our physical closeness.
It wasn’t the chastity device or orgasm control that made the difference. True, those things gave us fun activities and opened sexual communications. But the power exchange itself isn’t the reason we have gotten so much closer. I think it is the underlying agreement that’s done the trick.
There is no longer any question how sexual activities occur in our marriage. I have agreed that I will not have any sexual stimulation that isn’t provided by my lioness. I’ve agreed that she will let me know when she wishes sexual services from me. These services do not imply a reciprocal activity on her part. There is absolutely no confusion about our sex life.
You could argue that I got a bad deal since I ceeded all rights to independent sex. I disagree. We are now in our third year of the Jail Bird treaty. I couldn’t be happier. Mrs. Lion has also expressed her happiness as well. We like it so much that we are amending it to include more control for her.
It turns out, I think, that a very clear understanding of our roles adds a comfortable regularity to our lives. While I love the power exchange, it isn’t the sole source of our happiness. I think our explicit understanding of our relative places is the key. Democracy isn’t the best way for us to conduct our marriage. We found something that works much better and makes us both happy.