Enforced chastity and FLR involve activities designed to enhance sexual desire in the caged male. More accurately, there are two distinct sets of activities, at least in our relationship: The first, enforced chastity is intended to not just prevent me from sexual release, but to make me want it very badly. The objective for us isn’t to see how long I can be forced to abstain. It’s how horny I can be kept until I am finally allowed release. The second, FLR, is more of a lifestyle. Combined with domestic discipline, its purpose is to assure that Mrs. Lion is in charge of all things and has the power to make and enforce rules. We are still trying to figure out how this will work in our relationship.
There is nothing that says enforced chastity has to include the kind of play we do. We decided that I was to be kept as horny as possible and that we would incorporate BDSM activities that turn me on. Mrs. Lion likes the way I react to these activities. She likes her lion squirming and unbearably aroused. I like it too, at least before and after the activities. Now that we are in our third year of enforced chastity, we understand the way it fits into our lives. We are now fine tuning our practices to maximize the effects we want.
Notice that I said “we”. The fantasy has the caged male as victim with no voice in what happens to him sexually. Our reality is that once objectives are set, we work together to maximize the effectiveness of Mrs. Lion’s keyholding. We do this through our posts, email, and conversations. She is always interested in how I feel about what we try. Some have commented that is topping from the bottom. It isn’t.
An effective top needs feedback from the bottom; the more the better. It doesn’t mean that the bottom is dictating what will happen, but it means that the top can analyze how the bottom reacts and use that information to be more effective. For example, Mrs. Lion likes to play with clothespins on my balls. Depending on the type of clothespin (wood or plastic) there is more or less pinch. Where she puts them affects how much pain they cause. She knows I am sexually excited when she uses them on me. That’s obvious. But my feedback after we finish about how it felt and what worked and didn’t work helps her decide how to improve the effect. Often that means she will do more of what made me most uncomfortable. Topping from the bottom, ha!
The same is true of FLR. She just doesn’t turn into the perfect leader overnight. I am not immediately obedient and submissive to her. There’s a learning process; a long one. We both have to fit into our roles. Feedback and fine tuning is critical in making FLR work on a continuing basis.
The big difference between BDSM and our versions of enforced chastity and FLR is that our activities are ongoing. We aren’t doing scenes. We are changing the way we live. That takes time and experimentation. Lioness 2.0 is the latest step in fine tuning our power exchange. The big change is that Lioness 1.0 would try my suggestions and stop the activity when it was clear I no longer was having fun. That’s an excellent way for us both to learn just what works, but it isn’t as much a power exchange as a play session.
2.0 still hears my feedback and knows when things are getting tough for me. Unlike 1.0, 2.0 doesn’t necessarily stop when the fun goes out of something for me. She continues until she thinks I have had enough. On Thursday night, she use the Njoy butt plug on me. After about an hour it started to get uncomfortable. She noticed and asked me if it was bothering me. I said it was. She said, “In that case, we’ll leave it in a while longer.”
I asked when she will remove it. Her answer was, “When I think it is time.”
That’s new. I ended up wearing it for another half hour or so. I was really happy to have it out. 2.0 made her point that what we do isn’t about what I want. It’s about what she wants. Last weekend when she pegged me, she continued long after I was uncomfortable. Over time I will learn to better deal with this discomfort; or I won’t. It doesn’t matter. 2.0 will do what she wants.
That bit of fine tuning is profound to me. It makes me feel on a very deep level that I can’t control things. If 2.0 wants me to hurt, then I will hurt. If she wants me to come, I will come for her. It’s not about me. This is a change that will take me a while to fully accept. But it doesn’t matter. I have no choice.