We Need A Community

My job hunt may be nearing the end. The job I had initially interviewed for in late May with six more in early June, went silent until yesterday. I was informed that I need one more interview with an executive vice president. That means the hiring manager and the others who interviewed me agree I should get the job. Today I have a half hour scheduled for the final step. I certainly hope that this one will go as well as the last seven. It will be a big relief for both of us if things work out. Unlike my last few jobs, this is full time and permanent. For the last three years I did work on contracts that covered specific projects. There’s nothing wrong with that except I have to hunt for work at the end of each. Since job hunting has been so painful for me, I am cautiously optimistic about this opportunity. I don’t want to count these chickens before they hatch.

There is a lot of stress for both of us caused by my being out of work. While we have been consistently following enforced chastity and our brand of a female led relationship, I can’t claim that we have been as active since my last contract ended; or have we? One of the interesting side effects of a successful FLR is that it fades into the background. It becomes so ingrained in everyday life that it stops being noteworthy.

I think this explains why it is sometimes hard to come up with posts and why others who write about FLR and enforced chastity sometimes write less frequently. The exotic becomes mundane. When that starts happening, one option is to up the ante: Get a new chastity device. Find ways to make it more secure. Create new, more restrictive domestic rules. You get the idea.

In the beginning, this can work. Mrs. Lion and I have been going very slowly so we have options in terms of growth of our FLR. Enforced chastity is working for us. There isn’t anything we can do to improve it. Unlike some, neither of us considers longer and longer waits between orgasms to represent a path we want to follow. Fortunately, the benefits we get from enforced chastity remain and don’t depend on us doing anything more than our current activities. It seems to me that keeping enforced chastity and FLR alive by ever-increasing restrictions is eventually going to fail. You can only go so far before things are crushed under their own weight.

In some communities where practices like domestic discipline are the norm, there is no expectation that practitioners keep increasing restrictions or make discipline harsher. The authority model, usually male dominant, are the norm. Positive feedback is provided by notice of the “good behavior” of the disciplined wives. Both the dominant and his submissive wife feel pride when community members give positive feedback. That doesn’t happen with us.

We don’t have a community that approves and recognizes our enforced chastity and FLR. There are no external motivators to help us persist. All feedback and approval has to come from inside the relationship. Theoretically, there could be a community of people practicing FLR who could provide the support and feedback needed. Unfortunately, there are very few of us doing this. There may be many thousands, but we are geographically distributed over multiple continents.

I had a hope that an online community could be created that would allow us to openly communicate with like-minded people. While it’s possible to do this in theory, in reality any attempt is quickly overwhelmed by guys who want to use the community for masturbatory fantasies. Every enforced chastity / FLR forum is virtually useless as a meeting place for people who actually practice these things.

It’s not that there is anything wrong with fantasies about enforced chastity and FLR. It’s just that the needs of real-life practitioners are very different from the guys who get aroused reading and chatting about it. If there were enough people living nearby, it would be pretty simple to start building this community. The fantasy folks would be easy to weed out. Online, that has never worked out. In fact, even bloggers like us who obviously practice FLR and enforced chastity, have little contact with each other.

The reason for this, I think, is that all we ever know about one another relates to a very limited set of activities. You just can’t build a community around FLR or enforced chastity. Communities are three-dimensional groups of people with many shared values. For example, the religious communities that practice domestic discipline don’t put the discipline in the center of their interests. It is only a small part that is subsumed by the religious beliefs of the community members.

So, Mrs. Lion and I are a community of two. FLR and enforced chastity represent a very small part of our relationship. Unfortunately, since these things are not part of any family traditions, our practices are not integral parts of our belief system. That means we have to keep them alive ourselves. So far we have been able to do this.