Some weeks back, Lion said he’s tried not to beg for an orgasm because he doesn’t want me to feel like I have to give him one. I wasn’t sure how he’d react when I said today I want to get him so riled up he’ll have no option but to beg. When I asked him about it last night he said this time it doesn’t matter since it’s his scheduled date. The other times he didn’t want me to cave in because he was begging. I can understand that. I have, in the past, given him a lot more bonus orgasms than I have lately. For the most part now I think it’s funny when he is really horny. I think, in a sense, how silly he is to have begged me to deny him and now he begs me to give in. And then I’m back to the old standby – be careful what you wish for. This thought crosses my mind several times a week.
When he tells me it’s punishment day and he has X things on his list and he wishes I could just forget about them, I know he hates the punishment itself but loves the power exchange. When he tells me it’s maintenance day and I don’t really have to swat him because I’m very good at swatting already, no practice needed, I know he hates the swats but loves what they represent. When I edge him over and over and he really wants me to go too far, I know he hates when I stop but loves that he is not in charge. And even when he grumbles about my not being fair, a favorite complaint of toddlers, I know he wants me to keep him under control. So sometimes I can only shake my head and stop myself from saying that phrase.
Poor Lion. He did ask for it. I know sometimes he wants to kick himself for it. I wonder how many times a week that thought pops into his mind. There he is, thinking about how horny he is and how much he wants to come and how mean I am for not letting him and bam! out of nowhere, he realizes he wanted all this. And he must think, at least for a split second, how stupid he was. And then, of course, he realizes how lucky he is.