I’m all alone in the office today. Everyone else is at a conference. Aside from it being creepy with no one else around, I love it! No one is calling me. No one is emailing me. I’m in my element. Alone.
It may be difficult for some people to believe, but there actually those of us who like being alone. We need our down time. People frustrate us. It’s easy to get overloaded. Give me a corner somewhere away from everyone and I’m a happy camper.
Lion doesn’t understand that. Forget the fact that he’s alone most days for the moment. Even when he’s working he wants to come home and be with me. Let’s talk. Let’s interact. Let’s play. Let’s snuggle. That’s fine for the most part. But there are days that I have had too much interaction. I need some “me” time. Lion thinks “me” time means I want to be away from him. He’s not entirely wrong, but it’s everyone I want to be away from. Not just him. I need some space to get centered again. Generally I feel guilty when I abandon him, especially if he’s spent all day alone. So I try not to do it unless absolutely necessary. Luckily it isn’t usually absolutely necessary very often.
What does any of this have to do with chastity and FLM? Lion and I spend a lot of time together. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with Lion. But I can’t be on all the time. When he wants attention or needs me to make a decision or we have to go somewhere with a crowd, it can be exhausting if I don’t manage it correctly. I know, I’m a mess. I don’t know why Lion puts up with me.
Today I am basking in the aloneness. Tonight we’re going out to see a comedian perform. I don’t anticipate any system overload. And we have a quiet weekend ahead of us. So far things are looking up for a nice play weekend. Lion may get some sling time too. Lucky boy.
I am all about my alone time.
Oh, I like one-on-one time. Sure. And I enjoy spending time with my husband, usually even when I’m “peopled” out.
But my preferred state – the only way I can well and truly recharge – is ALONE.
I’m rather like a bear, I think. Sometimes I just need a bit of cave time. 🙂
(And aren’t bears at their hungriest and most curious after a lovely stint of hibernation?)