This is the beginning of a four day weekend for us. I’ve been looking forward to spending this time with Mrs. Lion. I have two interviews scheduled today: one in person and the second by phone. Maybe one will work out. As I read in her post yesterday, she is planning some intense D/S activity this weekend. I don’t think either of us is strongly in the mood for this. She is right, we need to focus on each other and not get sucked under by external challenges. I smoked St. Louis style ribs Wednesday night. They came out very well, if I say so myself. Last night we had burgers prepared on the grill. The weather has been holding out and is forecast to remain sunny for the next several days. That helps my general state of mind.
While things aren’t easy right now, all this adversity has had a significant positive effect on us: We are learning that our relationship, sexual and otherwise, doesn’t have to be hurt by external challenges. Our commitment to enforced chastity and FLM has served to keep us focused on our relationship. This has had an interesting effect on me. While I may be unhappy and distracted by the financial woes, none of those feelings leak over to my exchanges with Mrs. Lion. As she has said in the past, she tends to stuff her feelings and constantly presents a placid exterior. I’m not like that. My feelings almost always show.
The fact that Mrs. Lion is so opaque about her feelings makes it impossible for me to know how seriously our challenges are affecting her. I hope that she isn’t too worried and upset.I’m worried, but I am not upset. I understand more than ever before that nothing really matters except being with my lioness. No matter how bad it gets, as long as I have her, my life is good. I knew this before we started enforced chastity and FLM, but since I have surrendered, my feelings about Mrs. Lion are much closer to the surface and are always on my mind. I don’t think it is the adversity forcing my focus more sharply on her. I think it is our joint efforts toward our new lifestyle that has brought all of this home for me.
It’s ironic that FLM and enforced chastity have sex at their roots, yet they are changing me on a much deeper, emotional level. I can’t say that this is a typical effect created by this power exchange, but it is for me. This financial cloud truly has a silver lining. It’s awakened me to a deeper, more rewarding relationship. We may be poor right now, but we are more strongly bound together than ever before. That’s a silver lining!