Mrs. Lion posed the question: who’s training who? in her post yesterday. It’s a valid question. As she so aptly pointed out, I’m asking her to do things she never considered before I asked. I asked her lock me up in enforced chastity and to take general charge and administer domestic discipline. As she said, this isn’t the role she would have selected. Because she loves me, she agreed to take all this on. It took a full year for her to grow into her role as my keyholder. Just as that was running smoothly, I sprung domestic discipline on her.
I know Mrs. Lion dislikes change. It’s not easy for her to make changes. The changes I have asked her to make are particularly difficult. She has no experience or cultural models as examples. It’s not like she can go to work and ask her colleagues how many swats she should give me when I forget to take my medicine. She can’t ask if they have ideas on different punishments, or how long they make their men wait to ejaculate. Nope, that sort of conversation wouldn’t take place by the water cooler.
Who turns out to be her primary resource? Me. I’m training my own trainer. It seems counter intuitive, but in reality it’s probably not such a bad idea. For one thing, I have over thirty years in the power exchange world. I’ve taught many workshops on these very topics. But that isn’t the best reason. The best one is that I can’t help but reveal what will work best on me.
If she asks me about how I see things going, she will get not only my objective opinion, but also my dreams and fantasies. And, if she reads between the lines, she can see what I hope won’t happen. This is very instructive. For example, she knows I like the idea of spanking. I know she can spank incredibly hard. What she has not heard from me is that I think long, painful spankings with me unable to escape are a good way to discipline me. I would never choose that for myself.
I also omit ideas about control that I know would be horrible for me. For example (I sat here a long time before deciding I should type it), monitoring my weight and disciplining if I don’t lose what she expects. Yuck!! But, in fairness good for me. I’m not going any further. My point is that she can learn more from what I don’t say than from what I do.
I think that Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to punish me in ways I really don’t like. The only example so far is that she made me wait a day longer for an infraction. I truly hated that. She hasn’t repeated it. I’m not saying that she is a wuss and only does things to me that I want. That’s completely unfair. She is learning. She’s starting from points that she knows we both can handle. I’ve been tugging at that leash for a while. She’s sensibly resisted moving too quickly. But she will have to move on her own and I will have to follow. It will be scary for both of us, but it is the right way to go.