My reasoning for giving Lion a ruined orgasm was not to give him relief. It was to make him want an orgasm even more. I would have given him a bonus orgasm by now but he thinks I give him too many orgasms. Well, he really doesn’t think that. He wants more orgasms. But the chastity side of him thinks he gets too many and that he needs to man up and accept fewer. Pffft!
I think it’s a load of crap. That scheduled date is just an arbitrary date on which he is guaranteed to have an orgasm. I decide if he gets any bonuses. He can beg all he wants. Sometimes I laugh at him. Sometimes I give him one. Sometimes I do it because I want to give him one even if he hasn’t begged for one.
Does that mean I’ll never make him wait a long time? I guess it depends on what you define as a long time. A month? Six months? A year? No way! I think 25 days is pushing it. Does that mean I’m not in control? Of course not. When does he get to come? When I say so. How much more in control do I have to be?
With all due respect, I hope you know it is not my intention to try and tell or convince anyone how to life their lives, especially in a lifestyle that we mutually enjoy.
I’ve always believed that one of the true anchor points of a FLM is orgasm control, and while you may believe that you are actually controlling his orgasms, you are not. He gets more orgasms in a Female Led Marriage than most husband get in an uncontrolled environment. Before I was in a my FLM, I had 2-3 orgasms a week. Granted, they were usually when I was alone and in the shower but back when I still owned my orgasms, I still used them.
I am currently at the 3 1/2 month mark since my last full on orgasm. I’ve had probably 5 or 6 ruined orgasms since then, and probably 8 or 10 punishment spankings in that time. At this very moment, my marriage is better and stronger than it has ever been, and it was only possible when Mistress K. gave me a talking to about topping from the bottom, thinking I had any influence over her decisions regarding orgasms, spankings, or anything else that was up to her to decide. She forbade me from any attempts to subversively try and persuade her to let me come. Since then, we couldn’t be happier. It seems to me that it might be beneficial for you to consider the same approach.
Thanks for your input. We are not in an FLM. I am only in control of Lion’s orgasms. When I first locked him up he did, in fact, top from the bottom more often. Neither of us are interested in his waiting for any long period of time. He usually gets a bonus orgasm not because he wants it, but because I want to give it to him. If I gave him an orgasm every time he wanted one I might have to quit my job. 🙂 Our marriage has always been strong. The cage has reawakened our sex life. We are in the process, and it will always be an ongoing process, of learning what works and what doesn’t work for us.
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