Do I Really Want To Do This?

what happens if i tell mrs. lion i don't want to be caged anymore?
What happens if I tell Mrs. Lion I don’t want to be caged anymore?

At times, mostly when standing at a urinal, I ask myself why I want to be locked up? It comes up then because, unlike when I am wild, I have to take my entire package out of my pants before I can pee. You are probably thinking that this isn’t a very big deal. No, it isn’t. But at this point it is the only time in my day-to-day life I have any real awareness of my cage. It fits perfectly and I really don’t know it is there almost all the time. At night I am only aware of it if I am awake and trying to get hard. At those times, I like that it is there because it is preventing me from unauthorized sexual activity.

I decided to write about this because it is a fair question. In my fantasy I wear this cage because I have to. My keyholder, Mrs. Lion, insists that I am locked all the time. In fact, I am pretty sure she would unlock me if I asked her. So the gap between my chastity fantasy and my idea of reality is the level of control I actually have over my lockup. Mrs. Lion and I discussed this very issue. I suggested that saying I want to be locked for life is probably unrealistic. It’s not really possible to make a decision that far reaching. I said that I wanted to make it long enough that I would feel her control but not an unrealistic time. So I proposed that I must stay locked up until June of 2016. Mrs. Lion agreed. Of course, we had the usual exceptions: illness, medical visits, metal detectors, irritation, etc. for brief freedom.

So why would I imagine that I could ask for my freedom and get it? I think it may be due to my belief that Mrs. Lion may not really hold me to our deal. I don’t want to test this. That wouldn’t be fair to my lioness. This is a typical power exchange catch 22: you can’t know you have no choice unless you challenge your top, but if you challenge your top you hurt her feeling of confidence or make her think you resent her control. This comes up all the time in BDSM. The only non-destructive way to assert this control is for the top to do some activity that clearly goes past the bottom’s current wishes. We are in tricky territory again since our keyholder/top doesn’t want to force a safeword or cross a limit. However, activities like spanking are really easy to push past the bottom’s desire to be spanked. Each time control is asserted in a way like this, the bottom feels the control of the top. It’s ironic that this sort of thing is needed. After all, the top is usually performing all this stuff at the request of the bottom.

My wish to be caged is an expression of my desire that Mrs. Lion is in sexual control. As a top it can be confusing for the keyholder. After all, she is doing what her caged male wants, why would he resist? This goes back to something I mentioned in a previous post: males and females react differently to control situations. Submissive or bottoming females generally work hard to be compliant. They generally want to be “good girls”. There are exceptions, but this general case is true much of the time. Males, at least this one, want to be forced. We want to feel the power of our top/keyholder. That provides much of the comfort of control. There are many exceptions to this. But at least some of the time, we want to know that we have no choice. That is the deepest meaning of control.

Our cages represent that sort of control. We want cages that we can’t defeat. Some males want to test their chastity devices to the extreme. Usually, they end up buying a lot of devices since most can be defeated if you are determined enough. So, most of us compromise. We recognize it is possible to get out, but it is difficult and inconvenient. It takes enough time and effort for us to think better of escape. That’s good enough for most.

So, if I say I want to get out, at the time I may want that more than anything in the world. But, even though I am desperate, unless my reason is one that Mrs. Lion feels is reasonable, I need her to refuse. In fact, the more urgent my need, the more control I feel when she says no. So, the answer to the question, “Do I really want to do this?” is “It doesn’t matter, you are doing it until June 2016 at the least!”



  1. Author

    Am I to understand that you are in that cage for the next 18 months without orgasm? Or that you are going to be wearing the cage for that entire time with time out for play and “maintenance”?

    1. Author

      No, I am caged for that time with time out for medical, exercise, and hygiene. The agreement is that I can’t decide I don’t want to be caged until March 2016 when it is up for discussion. If Mrs. Lion decides I should continue, then we will set another discussion date.

  2. Author

    I’ve also noticed the Catch 22 (though in our case it seems to no longer apply since Xena is a very literal all-or-nothing sort of mistress).

    The upside of the catch is that it removes our freedom of choice. If we challenge one aspect of the Femdom, perhaps ALL the Femdom will go away!!

  3. Author

    I would suggest that newbies should make a small contract that says following : My keyholder has the key for 3 days or one week or whatever they decide. Then keyholder sends the key with mail to one self(key to mailbox, will be in keyholders possesion). That will take 2-3 days. That would be a start in the small, but a good one for all. Then you will know !!!

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