My days of spontaneous erections seem to be in the rearview mirror. That doesn’t mean I don’t find things I see and read exciting. Julie Delmar, whose blog Strict Julie Spanked, a favorite of mine, wrote a new book of short stories, Spanking Stories Inspired by AI (Vol 1: F/M) gets the blood flowing–at least in my brain. Her book contains sixteen short stories that feature men being spanked by women. Each story features a situation that is the subject of many male fantasies.

Julie isn’t a typical porn author. Her stories have surprising and sexy twists that manage to surprise me every time. Julie knows how to push all the right buttons. She’s always been good at that. A while ago, we exchanged custom-written short stories. You can read the one she wrote for me here. Now that she has become a spanked wife, I probably owe her a new story featuring her bottom getting well-tanned.

Julie and I don’t always see eye-to-eye. Our politics are 180 degrees apart. When it comes to other matters, we have common beliefs. I’ve lost friends over the years when they became radicalized as right-wing conservatives. One very good friend just stopped talking to me when he drank the Kool-Aid. I’m happy to say that Julie and I remain good friends.

needle shy

I’m a little worried about proposing that I do another Edex injection. It’s hard to forget how awful it felt to be unable to reach orgasm time after time. The dry spell lasted nearly 100 days. Mrs. Lion thinks that one of the ingredients in Trimix caused my anorgasmic condition. I hope she’s right. Edex contains only one ingredient: the original boner-creating drug. Trimix was formulated as a more powerful alternative. I don’t need the extra octane.

There’s a solid reason to use Trimix instead of  Edex: Trimix is much cheaper. Edex is a brand-name drug that retails for about $500 for six erections. Trimix is custom-formulated by a compounding pharmacist for $145 for about eleven boners at the dose that works for me. The only reason I can afford Edex is that my health insurance covers it. I pay $200 for eighteen boners. That’s about the same as the cost of using Trimix. If, for some reason, my insurance stops covering it, I will have to go back to the compounding pharmacy.

I’m still getting my mind around the fact that I have ED. Taking a Viagra or Cialis was different. The erection wasn’t caused by the drug. It just helped Mrs. Lion get me hard. Edex is different. The drug gets me hard. I don’t have to be sexually aroused. Inject the Edex and I get an erection. Arousal has nothing to do with it. That is brand new to me. I’m still learning to process it.

I took my first dose of cabergoline on Wednesday afternoon (“Magic Sex Pills“). The starting dose is 2.5 mg, half a tablet. According to a quick Google, effects are felt in as little as three hours. Mrs. Lion didn’t try to get me off on Wednesday night, so I’m not sure whether we had success or not. I didn’t feel particularly horny. We both did a lot of walking. I had a doctor’s appointment and then a trip to the supermarket to pick up my prescription and some household necessities. To make things worse, a massive traffic jam closed I90, making traffic on every road around us a nightmare. Mrs. Lion found an alternate route, but it still took us over an hour to go 10 miles.

The next half-tablet dose is on Saturday. If I’m still not orgasmic, the dose goes up to .5 mg next Wednesday. So far, I’m not feeling any side effects from the drug. While researching this new treatment, I came across a mention that it may help female libidos too. There is some (very sketchy) evidence that high prolactin levels in women reduce their libidos. I found one study1 that suggests this is the case. The study looked at young women with very high prolactin blood levels. It also cited the loss of libido observed in men with high prolactin levels.

A second study2 with a small (25 women) pool of patients with high levels of prolactin showed a strong correlation between loss of libido and high prolactin levels. The study had 25 women with normal levels as a control. Even though it was a very small study, the results show that both women and men lose sexual capability when prolactin is present.

I’m surprised that Mrs. Lion’s doctor didn’t check her prolactin level, or just prescribe cabergoline. Based on what I could find on the web and what my urologist said, this drug is generally safe to try unless there are specific conditions that contraindicate it.

Actually, I’m not surprised. Sexual medicine isn’t a subject that all doctors study. In fact, most urologists have very limited knowledge. I’m going to ask Mrs. Lion if she would like to see my specialist or another that we are referred to.

I am very grateful that Google provides excellent help in academic research. It’s easy to find research papers on any subject. I’m lucky that I have access to a large university library (in person and online) that lets me access journal articles without having to buy them.

Cabergoline isn’t a miracle sex pill, but it has great potential for men and women who have issues with libido or, in my case, anorgasmia. I wish more physicians knew about this. We both could have tried this drug years ago. Well, now we all know. I hope it works.


1 Krysiak, R., Drosdzol-Cop, A., Skrzypulec-Plinta, V., & Okopien, B. (2015). Sexual function and depressive symptoms in young women with elevated macroprolactin content: A pilot study. Endocrine, 53, 291-298.


woman spanking man

I asked for it. In my post (“The Surprising Reason Why I Need To Be Spanked More Often“), I wrote that my last two spankings seemed milder than Mrs. Lion’s usual. I also (foolishly) suggested that I need much more frequent spankings. Mrs. Lion took my post to heart and brought out the spanking bench after dinner. I don’t know how long the spanking lasted, but it made me do a lot of yelping.

Small silicone paddle spanking between my ass cheeks

She used the heavy leather paddle most of the time. We had a brief interlude when she spread my cheeks wide and applied the vicious little blue silicone paddle to the very tender skin on my perineum and between my cheeks. I was lucky that she didn’t spend too much time working there. It was starting to get very uncomfortable. She also used wood paddles to very painful effect.

When she finished, I had some warm, leathery skin on my bottom. I was a little surprised that there is no residual pain. I suppose when Mrs. Lion goes back to using more wood than leather, that will change quickly. I have no doubt that she is only warming up, and there is much worse to come. I think that she is still finding her way. Once she starts feeling her oats, I will be in big trouble. Yeah, yeah, I know, I asked for it. I think it will be very good for both of us.

sex update

I have an appointment this afternoon (Tuesday) with the ED specialist. She wants to check my penis to make sure that the injections aren’t causing scar tissue to form. I want to ask her about two issues. The big one is that I haven’t been able to reach orgasm despite Mrs. Lion’s efforts. It’s approaching 80 days now since my last orgasm. The other smaller issue is that my erections get a little painful, almost as though too much blood is inflating my penis. I know that’s not really the issue since I’ve had much firmer erections without any discomfort. It’s probably an issue with the Trimix.

There’s always the option of giving up sex entirely. I suspect that’s what most men do when problems like this come up. If I give up, how can we keep the intimacy we share now? Whether we admit it or not, my sexual problem is affecting other areas of our marriage. I think that Mrs. Lion’s lack of disciplinary enthusiasm may be connected to my sexual issues. I hope we can separate sex from domestic discipline.

They aren’t directly related beyond the rule that when I’m punished, there is no sex that day. Under the surface, there is a pretty strong connection that we need to sever. Long before domestic discipline began, Mrs. Lion spanked me because of my sexual connection with being spanked. Domestic discipline replaced our BDSM spankings with disciplinary ones.

Even though spanking became a punishment, the sexual connection remained. It didn’t affect the quality of our disciplinary marriage. I am severely spanked for infractions. A big reason Mrs. Lion takes on the role of my disciplinary wife is that she knows I want and need her to maintain a strict disciplinary environment. I think that her current ambiguity is based on her concern that if I’m not able to orgasm, my need for strong discipline goes away.

I’m absolutely sure it doesn’t. If anything, my need is stronger because the powerful intimacy of a disciplinary marriage replaces the sex we no longer share. I need our domestic discipline to stay strong and strict. It provides me with a solid foundation while sexual problems continue to disrupt our lives.

I was spanked again on Thursday evening. It was a mild (for Mrs. Lion) spanking. I think she is intentionally starting off slowly to help us both get comfortable/uncomfortable with domestic discipline again. Sex isn’t working out quite as well. I think that the problem may be our approach.

When Mrs. Lion wants to spank me, she takes out the spanking bench and tells me to mount it. There is no ambiguity about what is going to happen. We are both focused on one thing. There are no distractions. Sex is very different. Mrs. Lion will approach me while we are watching TV. We are on our bed.. She will begin by fondling my penis and balls. My attention isn’t entirely focused on what she is doing.

This isn’t her fault. It’s a combination of the situation and our expectations. Mrs. Lion isn’t sure that she will find me receptive. Her actions are exploratory. My reaction is almost certainly hurt by the ambiguity of the way we go about this. I’m worried that I won’t be able to perform. I’m not focused on sex. It’s this problem of mine that prompted me to get the second massage table. My theory was that if we relocated to another place, just as we do with spanking, our focus would be on what we would be doing.

It’s true that Mrs. Lion would have a hard time giving oral sex when I am on the massage table. At least she thinks so. We haven’t tried it. It is, however, ideal for CBT and handjobs. More importantly, it focuses me on what is happening. I may be wrong, but I think that any conditioning I can get to signal that i should be sexually aroused will be helpful.

It doesn’t have to be the massage table. It just has to be a change that informs me to get aroused. Mrs. Lion approaches spanking as a no-nonsense, let’s-get-down-to-business activity. Sex is tentative. She tests the waters to see if I’m interested. She’s right that sex won’t work if I’m not interested, but that doesn’t mean the best approach is to ask me if I want sex.

We both know that I’m more than a little gun-shy. I’ve been failing at getting hard and getting off for months. I hate that I’m failing at something so important. I’m my own worst enemy at this point. I need to do more. If we combine using the Trimix with the same sort of structure we use for spanking, it might help me. If I’m getting in my own way, then perhaps Mrs. Lion should take my ability to choose out of the picture for a while.

It was the way we worked when I wore a male chastity device. I was unlocked when Mrs. Lion decided I should get some sexual attention. She didn’t always ask me if I wanted fun. Well, sometimes she did, and then told me it was too bad I had to wait. The point is that I felt she was in charge. Sure, it’s way easier to deny sex than to demand it. But it still fits our power exchange. When I was desperate for sex, denying me was a fun way to demonstrate lioness power. Now that sex is difficult for me, isn’t requiring it the other side of the same coin?

i was forced to come every half hour

More correctly, enforced male chastity isn’t orgasm denial. It’s orgasm control. For most couples, the idea of enforced orgasm is a lot kinkier than enforced chastity. There were a few times in the past when I was in an enforced orgasm situation. One afternoon, my partner told me I would have an orgasm every half hour. I didn’t believe I could do it. I was over forty at the time.

She had me undress and led me into the bedroom, and jerked me off. I liked that a lot. After I came, she set a 30-minute timer. When it went off, she took my hand and led me back to the bed. It took a lot longer for me to come. She didn’t care. She switched hands when one got tired. When I finished, she set the timer. After the third orgasm, I was a little sore and not in the mood for more sex. Too bad. The timer went off, back to bed. She used lube since I was getting sore. I think it took a half hour for me to come. She wouldn’t quit.

After the sixth orgasm, she took mercy on me. I had been shooting blanks since the third orgasm. I was dry and done. She was tired too. It was an unforgettable afternoon. I was surprised she could get me off when I was drained and tired of being jerked off. Determination won out.

I don’t think this could happen now. But that experience suggests I’m not the best judge of my ability to respond sexually. Determination wins out every time.