I Am Paying Attention

Yesterday was nuts at work. Too many people wanted everything at the same time. Today is much calmer, but still busy. I guess that’s what I get for taking a few days off.

Lion had his orgasm Monday night. He didn’t want to be tied to the bed. I didn’t ask why. I just went to work. He wondered the other day if I think about the way he perceives sex. I do try to vary my technique. I don’t want him to get bored with the same old, same old. I know this wasn’t exactly what he was talking about. He meant my intent. In other words, am I trying to get it over with or are we both having fun? I don’t know if he thinks about the way I perceive sex either.

I admit it. There have been times I’ve just gone through the motions. He wants attention and I want to give it to him but I’m not really into it. Other times, I think he assumes I’m just going through the motions. This is probably true of hand jobs. He sneaks looks at me and if I’m not looking directly at him, he may think I’m not “there”. The truth is, I can look elsewhere and still be concentrating on the business at hand, as it were. Sometimes I’m thinking about my grip. Do I need to alter it? Am I hitting the right spot? Am I going too fast or slow? None of those questions require me to be looking at him. Other times I’m wondering if I locked the front door when I last came in. That doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention. I’m also listening for the subtle changes in his breathing or if he makes a noise. When I suck him, I usually close my eyes. There’s not a lot to look at. I listen. I wonder about my grip and speed. He just doesn’t know what’s going on when I’m out of sight.

Sometimes I do go straight for gold. No, I don’t like when he goes right for my clit either, but sometimes he does. Why do I do it? At times it’s because he’s been having difficulty getting aroused and I’ve theorized that maybe he just needs an orgasm to reset his system. I have also done it a few times to show him who’s in control. These are times I’ve said I was going to take an orgasm. Of course, he has to be somewhat cooperative. I can’t take an orgasm if he absolutely isn’t in the mood.

Overall, however, I am completely there whether Lion believes it or not. I’m not on a schedule. I’m not rushing him. Sometimes I have to stop because I get achy, but more often than not, I keep going even if my arm falls asleep or if a body part hurts. I know it can take him longer sometimes. I’ve got nowhere else to be. I do wonder if I should change things up, but then I worry he’s almost there and any interruption will stop him. Yup. I think about a lot of things while I’m hard at work.

What do you think?