My Doldrums

I guess I hit my “limit” last night. The day before his tooth was pulled Lion insisted I make a dentist appointment, which I needed but hate. My doctor wants me to come in before she’ll approve any more medication refills so I had to make an appointment. The stupid camper has an issue so we need to drag it an hour away to be repaired. (I’d rather go to the dentist than take the camper for a repair and that’s saying a lot.) And I guess all those necessary but distasteful things were jumping up and down on my last nerve. I just didn’t feel like doing anything when I got home.


There were quite a few mind-bending problems at work yesterday. One of them took three of us to figure out. The other was a breakdown in procedure that could result in a sizable amount of money not being paid to us. Both were cases of people not doing what they’re supposed to do and that issue seems to be getting worse, adding stress to a few of us who have to fix the problems created by many.

Dinner from Hello Fresh! was not complicated at all. Cook rice. Cook shrimp. Make sauce. Combine. Eat. That’s a good thing. I’m not sure I could have done anything more involved. I took my shower. Lion was out of the packets of pills he takes in the morning and evening so I did a month’s supply for him. Then I just sort of retreated into my iPad.


I wasn’t ignoring Lion. He might have thought so. But we were talking about the shows we watched and the oatmeal chocolate chips cookies I’d made. It’s just frozen dough I popped in the oven. I rarely bake from scratch. I think we held hands a bit. I didn’t exactly tell Lion we weren’t going to play. I probably should have. Somehow that even seemed like too much effort. I just felt fried. Done for. [Lion — I knew Mrs. Lion was worn out. I didn’t expect any sex.]


I don’t think I was mean to Lion. I wasn’t trying to be. I just wasn’t very nice. By that I mean I didn’t play with him. I didn’t give him sex. I didn’t perform my “wifely duties”. Every so often I need a night off. I don’t want that to sound like playing with Lion or giving him sex is work. I love doing things for and to him. But everyone needs downtime to regroup to be able to face another day. The trick is to make sure this doesn’t become a habit.


Our original agreement, when we started enforced male chastity, was that I unlock Lion at least every other day. That was to force my attention back onto Lion since I’d truly ignored him for so long. In the beginning, I did more than that. A lot more. If you’ve read our earliest posts, you may recall I gave him an orgasm every night for at least a few weeks. Finally, he had to tap out. He went from no attention to more attention than he’d had in years. Too much attention. I bet he never thought he’d need a break from nightly orgasms.


When we started spending most nights together, he got an orgasm every night. Eventually, that backed off. And eventually, that backed off even more. And then he was lucky if he got one a week or one orgasm a month. So, yeah, I can see where his body would have issues with an orgasm every night.


In truth, I felt bad that I’d ignored him for so long. I guess I was trying to make up for the lost time. And, since he’d put me in charge of his orgasms, it seemed perfectly reasonable to me to go back to the early days. While other key holders were denying their males, I took my power in the opposite direction.


Whenever I have a night like last night, I know I have to make sure that blah feeling doesn’t continue. It would be very easy to lapse back into my own doldrums and not play with Lion. He has his doldrums of not being able to get hard, but I still try. I get “credit” for it even if he can’t do anything. At least we’re close during his doldrums. Nobody benefits from my doldrums.


Tonight I’ll be back to my old self. Lion will be on his knees for another round of milking.

What do you think?