Attitude Adjustment

I don’t consider myself a patient person. My coworkers might disagree. They think I have the patience of a saint with everything that has happened to Lion this year. A less patient person would have killed him a long time ago. Well, maybe not killed him, but certainly put him in his place.

Recently, I’ve reminded Lion that he’s not the only one going through things. As a caregiver, I go through his things (albeit not first hand) along with my things. Lion doesn’t readily admit it, but he likes to be the center of attention. Why else, when I’m wondering how to make eating dinner and breakfast easier for him when he can’t see, would he be worried about whether I’ll be paying attention enough to fast forward through commercials of shows he’ll be “watching”? Most of my ideas lately have been met with “that won’t work” or “why would we do that?” I’m not sure if this is the Lion with the vision, balance and surgery worries or the Lion who knows it all. In either case, he shouldn’t take things out on me. He may need an attitude adjustment.

Lion is not a good patient. He’s not a patient patient. I cannot afford, either time-wise or emotionally, to sit with him the entire time he has the bandage over his eye. I have a house to pack. I’ve decided I’ll pack up what I can in the master bath so I can be near him in case he needs anything. I’ll try to remember to tell him when I leave and enter the room so he can keep track of me. I’ve suggested he allow Alexa to read his Audiobooks to him. He says that’s boring. But he’ll “watch” TV. Okay.

I know he’s afraid his eye will bleed and he’ll lose his sight for longer than a day. I think that’s a valid thing to be concerned about. But I need to set some ground rules. Some of them may fall under the heading of “humor me” but I have a feeling they’ll work. The first is one I suggested last night. I think if he uses the walker he used when he had neck surgery, he’ll feel more balanced and the walker will run into obstacles before he trips over them. He says it will make him feel worse. I don’t care. I think it will help keep him safe.

The second rule is that he has to sleep with his head elevated for the first few nights. I don’t remember if this was a post-surgery guideline with the first eye, but it seems to me if he sleeps flat there’s more pressure in his eyes. He’ll tell me he can’t sleep that way. He doesn’t sleep well anyway. Where’s the harm in trying it my way?

The third rule is that everything is not normal so let’s not try to pretend it is. He wondered what happens if he needs something from his nightstand. I said he should ask. But let’s keep it within reason. He can’t see. How many things can he possibly need from his nightstand? I’m not going to spend all of my time catering to him. As I said, I have a house to pack. He’ll tell me he needs more help because things are not normal. Packing a house solo is not normal either. We all have our crosses to bear.

I won’t punish Lion while he can’t see. Once the bandage is off and he’s past the danger zone, I’ll let him have it. Any punishment he’s accumulated for being difficult will be meted out. He may be sorry he’s encouraged 3.0 to show up.

Okay. Let’s psych ourselves up. We can do this.

[Lion — It may seem that I want things my own way. In some respects I do. Mrs. Lion doesn’t realize how close to the edge I am. I’m not going to walk in a walker. We had experience with them after my spinal surgery. It will be much easier for me if Mrs. Lion takes my arm and steers me away from collisions. I will probably listen to some books as well as TV. TV has the advantage of being familiar and not requiring my full attention. I need things to be as normal as possible. If Mrs. Lion feels overwhelmed by this, I’ll find a way to fend for myself.]

[Mrs. Lion — Never mind. I’ll do whatever Lion needs me to do.]