I Come Back For More

My 2018 scorecard. Click image to enlarge.

After I completed my post yesterday, I asked Mrs. Lion for her comments and reaction. She agreed on my reporting but commented that I made too much of what she felt was a small thing. That thing was her changed behavior during BDSM play. When we played with clothespins, instead of putting them all over my balls where they hurt a bit but are arousing, she clamped them on areas near the penis where she knows it’s pure pain. (I have no idea how she knew that)

More significantly to me, when I complained she continued on and disregarded my reaction. She didn’t think that was a very significant change.

It was for me.

She plays with me because she knows I need it. And, her reasoning has always been that because she is doing this for me, it should be something I “like”. She has also applied that principle to making me wait for ejaculation.

I can’t argue with her logic. There are things she has always done that turn me on, but I hate. Icy Hot on my balls is one. Velcro tightly attached to my soft penis and then allowed to “choke” it when she makes it hard is another. But, complaining notwithstanding, it is sexual fun for me. Sounds ideal.

There’s only one problem in my mind: I’m actually in control.

Enforced chastity, FLRD, and our BDSM play has always been a service my lioness delivers for me. What happened on Saturday night was profound because the “service” changed its nature. The change may seem subtle to her, but for me it’s nuclear.

I was happy she was going to use clothespins. It gets me very hot when she does. Here’s a picture of the last “classic” session. You can see the conflict of pain (my face) and my enjoyment (erection). That’s what I expected Saturday0. When that first clothespin when on, I said,

“Ouch! That really hurts.”

Mrs. Lion paused a bit and then removed it. She put it back very close to where it was before. I complained again. She was silent. Then, slowly, she put on a few more in equally painful spots. Not one went on my balls.

I wondered if she realized she was really hurting me. Later, I asked her. She said that she knew. Mrs. Lion is a lioness of few words on the subject of Lion torture. I commented that this was a “first”. She agreed. There were so many things I wanted to discuss. I’ve learned not to try. The edging that followed was amazing. She’s overcome my so-called hair trigger.  I asked her to lock me up as soon after I calmed down as possible. You know why.

I’ve been really horny since then. This is unusual. I may be easily aroused when I’ve had to wait and I’ve received regular teasing. Between teasing sessions, sex isn’t on my mind too much. This time, all I can think about is being masturbated by Mrs. Lion. I asked her when we will play today. She didn’t know. I asked for some warning so I can take boner pills. She agreed she would.

The reason Saturday’s play affected me so profoundly is that even though she was doing what I asked, she took it further than I wanted. She made it clear that she is in control. Another example of this is spanking. I frequently get hard thinking about being spanked. For the first minute or two of a spanking, I am aroused by the activity. As the intensity grows, I want to be somewhere else. I hate the beating. But yet, I come back again the next time she wants to spank me. I know I will hate it; but I return.

This is the same as the clothespins. Even though I know the outcome will not be something I enjoy, I’m aroused by the idea of her doing things to me. I try as hard as I can to shape the activity. For example, I react strongly even to the mention of the tiny, dollhouse clothespins. I’m generally effective in convincing Mrs. Lion to put them away. I also try to limit how much Icy Hot ends up on my balls and perineum. I’ve been pretty successful in limiting my discomfort.

If Mrs. Lion has decided to up the intensity, I imagine that I won’t be as successful keeping her ministrations inside my comfort zone. I will hate it at the time, but I know I will always come back for more. It’s what I really want. Crazy Lion!

Yesterday afternoon, as promised, we played. I was blindfolded and my balls were tied tightly. That was followed by more clothespins, this time on my perineum. Then I got a surprise. Instead of a blow job, Mrs. Lion climbed on and did some reverse cowgirl lion riding. She had teased me so much that I lasted just a few seconds. She was surprised. I was too, but it felt great. It was my first vaginal orgasm since mid-2016.

A little while later, I showered (no cage!) and was locked up again.