It’s difficult to be in charge when the person you’re in charge of is uncomfortable from allergies. I suggested playing Zapardy! last night but Lion had to take his contacts out to use allergy drops. It might have been fun for me to zap him for not getting the right answers but not so much fun for him since he couldn’t read the questions. Actually he did pretty well just listening to the questions as they were read. But it wouldn’t have been fair.
I can hear you screaming, “It doesn’t have to be fair! You’re in charge. You can do what you want.” That’s true to some extent. But then wouldn’t it be like kicking a guy when he’s down?
Consider this: if Lion was paying me to whomp his butt or torture his balls, wouldn’t he cancel the session if his allergies were bothering him? And I’m not some disconnected professional who can turn her emotions off when it comes to Lion. I’m not saying a professional doesn’t care about the well-being of her clients. I’m saying she doesn’t love them.
As much as Lion wants me to be in charge and make him suffer at times, he doesn’t want me to be totally disconnected from him. Even if things were “equal” (in that I got something out of the deal like orgasms and a whimpering slave boy who cleaned the kitchen floor with a toothbrush) I wouldn’t push him if he wasn’t feeling well.
For the record, I don’t want a whimpering slave boy to do anything. And even though I don’t get any orgasms out of the deal, I don’t consider Lion a chore. I don’t even consider things uneven. Lion may at times, but I don’t. Lion worries I’ll find someone who can do more things for me. If I left, I’d be missing my heart that firmly belongs to Lion.
Yup. That got all mushy at the end. I tend to get that way when I think about what Lion means to me. Sex or no sex, he’s stuck with me. We’re stuck with each other. And neither of us want that to change.