We are still working to get back the rest of our posts and pages. The site goes up and down as we try new things. I am up and down too in my recovery from surgery. Either I am in pain or feeling reactions from medications. My interest in sex has returned. That means Mrs. Lion and I can have fun again. She is enforcing her rules, at least the one about me eating before her. I suspect that I am interrupting her, but no feedback on that.

There is one change that I find disturbing. When I come, there is no semen. A very small amount drips out later after I am soft, but nothing when I orgasm. Mrs. Lion likes semen and I like making it for her. When I come, I feel as though I am ejaculating but I’m not. My average wait remain at 6.5 days. Maybe that is the natural wait for us. It’s been less than that now and I am definitely horny.

As things stabilize, the old feelings are returning. I was worrying that I wouldn’t be particularly interested in surrender and FLR with Mrs. Lion. It turns out that I’m beyond that. I’ve forgotten what I would be like without our power exchange. What used to be exciting kink is now ingrained in me. I’m still kinky and get turned on by her sexual control, but I no longer feel that there are any choices for me to make. It’s just the way we are.

I’ve been thinking about obedience too. In the sexual, BDSM sense, obedience is a turn on. But for me, at least, it’s now just the right thing to do. I realize that even if I were in a vanilla relationship, asking permission is a sign of respect and collaboration. By asking if I can do something I am sharing. In the vanilla relationship I suppose asking is more courtesy than genuine need for permission. But even in that context, if I asked if I could go somewhere and Mrs. Lion said no, what would happen? I suppose it would start a conversation to determine what is going on. In our current FLR, a no means I can’t do what I asked and that is the end of the subject.

My point is that from a behavioral perspective, FLR is just refining what I should have been doing all along. I hope Mrs. Lion will shorten my leash so I can further improve. I don’t really have to worry about the outside world thinking that I am weird. My behavior with my disciplining wife is well within the boundaries of “normal”. Someone would have to look very closely to notice that my requests are genuine and that I don’t expect an automatic agreement. Punishment is performed in private, so that isn’t something the outside world will see.

I’m very happy to be recovering. I’m also happy to feel our power exchange becoming a part of me and not just something kinky I do. I’m getting better.


  1. Author

    Sorry about your blog going down. I had a hard time finding this again. I had planned to see if you would consider adding our blog you your site before I left for vacation but decided to wait until our return.
    Hope you are able to recover all your posts. There was some really good information there.

    1. Author

      Thanks for your good wishes. We are trying to restore our content.

  2. Author

    I also hope you soon get your archives back up. When i found your blog a few months back, I started with the first and have been “marathon reading” when i get the chance, wanting to follow your experience from the beginning. Got thru almost all of Oct 2015 when you crashed, been feeling kinda lost, lol. Love the blog and perspectives from both sides of the issue.

  3. Author

    Sympathise with lack of semen, with age have found amount of ejaculate decreased making orgasm less satisfying, but after finding your blog tried self control of edging without cumming meant when I did cum after several days it was really good. Incredibly hard to do solo and can’t do more than 3 or 4 days don’t know how you manage your average.

    1. Author

      My average is 6.5 days. Occasionally Mrs. Lion gives me an orgasm after a day or two. I can’t keep that rate up over time.

  4. Author

    I was wounded in the Gulf War; my back was broken. I spent 6 weeks in a MASH then was returned to my unit. 2 years later I had a surgery at the VA, & a year after that a 2nd surgery. So…since 1992 I’ve been taking pain meds of one sort or another. I used to use a narcotic that was much more powerful than I use now. When I used it I found that my ejaculate pretty much disappeared. When I did experience a real ejaculation it sort of oozed out. Since I had been used to being able to kill flies on the wall with my ejaculate…I was sad. 8 months ago I stopped using that drug. (Fentanyl, it was.) I had to wean off of it due to the strength of the drug….2 months of 100 mcg/hr patches, 2 months of 75 mcg/hr, then 50, 25, & finally 12.5 mcg/hr.

    The day I took that final patch off I screamed with joy. The next day I masturbated and, after 15 years I had forgotten what a normal ejaculation looked like. It shot up & hit the headboard & I screamed with joy again.

    My ejaculations are, again, firm, powerful, & potent.

    When you use narcotic pain killers lots of muscles relax; ejaculation is a spinal chord reflex and is moderated by several neurotransmitters. Serotonin plays a big part in the response & serotonin levels are affected by narcotics.

    When you stop taking the pain meds, ejaculation should return to normal for you. I saw it suppressed from 1992-2016 & was overjoyed to see it come back to normal the day fentanyl was no longer in my system.

    Cheers, mate.

Comments are closed.