Our male chastity practice is being challenged. The carefully built routine is disrupted in a very unexpected way: My shoulder injury is serious and will require surgery and a long period of recuperation. Before surgery I am suffering considerable shoulder pain, particularly at night.

This pain has made Mrs. Lion much more tentative about physically approaching me. I am also not wearing my cage because when I am wild, I can pee standing up. This is easier than sitting and having to use my shoulder to help stand and sit. It may be that I can wear the cage until surgery, but after it, I can’t for quite a long time.

Two things are new: First, I am wild (cage free). Second, I am in pain much of the time. Mrs. Lion suggested that because of the pain, I should let her know when I want an orgasm or play. I didn’t want this. I believe that our established power structure shouldn’t change because of this medical condition. Mrs. Lion agreed to remain in charge and decide when I would be edged and when I would be allowed to come.

Mrs. Lion decided to look to me for “cues” that I am available for fun. So, if she saw me reading my iPad, she interpreted that as meaning I didn’t want attention. She looked for other cues as well. The net result has been that we have had almost no physical/sexual contact.

It feels to me that we have returned to the “bad old days” before male chastity. There is a big difference, however. We now communicate. So, yesterday I brought this up. I asked if Mrs. Lion thinks that this change is at least partly due to me being wild for so long. She doesn’t think so.

She said that the issue was her concern about my discomfort. I suggested that she proceed exactly the way she has for the last three years: just go ahead and approach me. When I wear the cage, she comes over to my side of the bed and removes the cage. Then, in a while she will move over and snuggle. The generally moves to teasing and edging followed occasionally with an orgasm. She will also bring her “bag of tricks” on occasion and do some CBT before moving on to edging and orgasm. Sometimes she brings other toys as well.

Things aren’t exactly broken. Neither of us wants to change the hard-won sexual success. We just have to learn how to integrate my injury and recovery into our great pattern. We’re not ready to let injury and disability interfere with us. We need to have our own disability accommodation plan. Things won’t be the same. That’s ok as long as we maintain the most physical intimacy we can.